Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

Anselm

When you go to her work with your surprise OP, why not ask her to marry her as well and strike while the iron is hot? :beer:

lufcgirl

I think he's planning the Flashmob scene from Friends With Benefits as we speak....

VestanPance

It's over, deal with it.

From your own description it sounds like you were very selfish through the relationship and this grand gesture now is nothing but another selfish move to get her back.

Any bloke can tell you the I love you, but I'm not in love with you is a romance death kiss. You hear that and it's over for good.

Melaniep101

If she's not in love with you anymore, she's probably lost respect for you. I'd say your grand gesture is too little too late unfortunately.

Girlzmum

Oh wow! So, did I really just read that she was the love of your life and instead of letting her know that you took her for granted, didn't bother with her family (seriously, you didn't meet her dad after SIX YEARS??? My dad lives in another country, my relationship with him is awful but my now husband still made the effort and travelled over with me to meet him) and now she's finally realised she needs to break free you've decided to show her everything you should have for the last 6 years?

You made some big gestures, it worked and she took you back but did you even try to change your ways or did you slip back so quickly she had ended it again within a month? Life isn't about the big gestures, it's about the little things and clearly you still need to realise that.

Let the poor girl go, she has clearly tried for 6 years and has had enough, you both need to move on.

FBaby

Clearly, what you are after is a 3rd chance. Will you get it, will you not, who knows. Would she be right to or a complete idiot, who knows.

If you are desperate for giving it a 3rd go and feel confident that you really really really have learnt your lesson this time, then you have nothing to lose giving it a go. However, no point in overwhelming her. All you need to do is to say that you are completely sorry, that you are an idiot that it has taken losing her twice to reallly realise what you need to do to show her how much you love her, that you understand that she might not want to give you a third chance because she probably doesn't trust that you could actually change any longer, but that you would like to prove her wrong. Don't wait until Valentines day. Tell her face to face or in a simple card/letter, and make it clear in the end that you won't pester her and that the cards are now in her hands.

That's all you can do, you have lost control now and anything you do to try to regain it will only make things worse. Good luck. You are young, and maybe you are able to really change.

Calien27

Instead of thinking up big gestures and stuff you should use this time to learn from the mistakes made in the relationship and make sure you don't repeat them in the next one.

victory

fbaby is right it is 3rd chance, you had such a golden opportunity the second chance she gave you, I know it's easy to see things in hindsight and oh what you would do so differently but it's so sad you put everything and everyone first when you had your second chance

unoriginal_uk

The phrase 'too little too late' springs to mind.

I wasted 6 years of my life with a 'boy' who only cared about himself, then every time the **** hit the fan and I told him enough was enough, he decided to try to move heaven and earth to 'prove to me how much he loved me'.....until a week later when he would decide he couldn't be bothered anymore. I was actually young, stupid and naive enough to take him back on many occasions (the last straw occuring when I found out that he had been running up debt in my name without my consent or knowledge)

You won't like my advice but here it is - walk away and let her find someone who will appreciate her 100% of the time, not just when it suits you or when you get scared of losing her.

unoriginal_uk

SandC wrote: »

I was of a similar age when I ended a relationship with the ex who sounds like you. I had tried to end it six months previously but he persuaded me things would get better. His first gesture was to suggest a weekend away. 'It's a good start' thought I.

Who ended up organising the weekend away, paying for more than half of it and driving there? Me.

Mutual acquaintances told him to make more effort, when he refused to accompany me to work functions cos he couldn't be bothered. He borrowed money from me and never repaid it, he had me driving everywhere while his car sat in the drive. He would turn up for a night out with no money on him, he would expect me to still buy rounds when I was on soft drinks and he was on pints, I had a bash in my car, a colleague asked would he be getting me some flowers - 'no, she's fine' he said. Etc. etc. etc.

Tell you what, he was crushed when I ended it. Cos he loved me soooo much you see. :rotfl: I shed some tears for what could have been but then, breathed a big sigh of relief.

By the time I walked away the relationship had been over in my head for months.

I literally could have written this word for word about mine....except mine didn't have his own car nor could he drive....why would he have needed to when he had me to drive him everywhere?!!! :rotfl: