Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

coolcait

lostinrates wrote: »

The guy you have always known is THE MOST FRIGHTENING. He knows your weaknesses, your vulnerabilities, which buttons to press. He comes bearing guilt and broken dreams wrapped in sadness. Men who beat wives, for example, are jot ramdom strangers either. Stalkers are often exes who cannot understand that no means no.

She HAS given you indication, when she left the last time. There is nt muh clearer a person can be.

^^ ^Exactly this.

Calien27

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

I can completely understand peoples concerns about me frightening her etc

But, it's not as if I'm a random stranger whose found out her address, I am the boy/ man she has known and loved a massive chunk of her life, I know her and she knows me, she will know that I don't mean any harm and that I'm just trying to make everything OK, if I receive any inclination that the gestures aren't appreciated then I will stop, and move on. I will have to, for both of our sakes.

She told you she isn't in love with you anymore, what more do you need to realize all of this is a bad idea?

jenhug

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

I've learned alot. No you haven't. I'll appreciate her more, Yeah right. I'll make a massive effort with her friends and family and make a massive with her with my friends and family, Not a chance. I'll do all the little things, Yeah for a week. I'll treat her like the princess she is. No you won't. Theres so much more I could say. As far as the commitment goes, in the future I would love to make her my wife, in the short term I have just moved into my own house whilst she lives with her parents, I would give her a key and tell her she is welcome whenever she likes, I would ask her to move in but I know I need to earn the trust of her parents before asking that question - something which I would do whatever it takes to do.

Sorry mate but you come across as both childish and selfish. Its all about you and what you want. For the 6 years she served you and now she has left (for the 2nd time), it was all about you.

If you cared for her at all, you would walk away and let her find real love. As for you? You should learn from this. Let the heart ache be a lesson in how not to treat a lady.

Anselm

unoriginal_uk

Aww that doggy is SOOOO cute I want one!!! I love those kinds of pictures

Anselm

unoriginal_uk wrote: »

Aww that doggy is SOOOO cute I want one!!! I love those kinds of pictures

Yep nice dog waaaay nicer than cats!

Everyone has hashed and rehashed the advice given, so I thought I could post a picture and try and get through - perhaps the OP is a visual learner

unoriginal_uk

Anselm wrote: »

perhaps the OP is a visual learner

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

MikiN

Be nice, gentle and do your best to win back the person you love! How? Admit your mistakes if you have, improve your self and give a shot!

NicolaB_2

I, like the majority of other posters, would say please do not do what you are planning. Yes she knows you and you are not some random stranger, but the 'you' that she knows is someone who wasn't interested in Valentine's Day. To suddenly see you become so over the top, bombarding her with cards, songs etc may well freak her out and make her wonder if you have totally lost the plot.

I also agree that you are being incredibly disrespectful of her feelings. She has told you in fairly clear terms that she does not want to be in a relationship with you. I suspect that she felt under pressure to give you a second chance last time, because you wouldn't give up, and probably regretted that decision almost instantly. I have been in her position, I gave a second chance and wished I hadn't. I was relieved when I had the opportunity to end the relationship for the second time.

If you love her, you will have enough respect for her to accept what she has told you. To do what you are planning shows that you continue to put your own feelings, wants and needs ahead of hers.

If you choose not to listen to any of the other advice on here, please heed people's warnings about turning up at her place of work unannounced. I think for many people that does cross the line into stalkerish behaviour. I would be furious if an ex-partner brought my personal life into my workplace. It would be embarrassing to be put in that position in front of colleagues who she has to continue to face on a daily basis.

Also, how will you feel if you turn up on Valentine's day only to discover that she has moved on and has made other plans for that night?

If you feel the need to have one last crack at this, I would agree with the suggestion of sending one letter setting out your feelings and apologising for your past behaviour. It would let her know how you feel but without pressuring her, or refusing to take no for an answer. But once you have sent it you should leave the ball in her court. Do not contact her or badger her for a response. Give her some space to think about it and whether it changes her view. Leave it to her to contact you if she wants to, if she doesn't you have your answer.

She may be the love of your life, but her words and actions show that you are probably not the love of hers.

Bitsy_Beans

Can the OP just stop and pause for a moment.
This thread is all about YOU and what YOU want.
Have to you stopped to listen to your ex and listen to what SHE wants?
You mentioned your selfish attitude in previous posts and this is just more of it. She has said she is not in love with you anymore. She doesn't want to be with you for the second time. If you love her you could do the very best thing and put her wishes ahead of your selfish wants. But I doubt that. Much like I doubt your ability to do all the things you've listed about changing.