Help Me Win Back The Love of my Life

VestanPance

Pollycat wrote: »

He's still not listening......:)

He never will, see rule one!

Sadly rule two is several months later look back on the actions you performed due to rule one and still cringing about what you did.

sunshinetours

Personally I find the "mob mentality" of turning someone looking for advice (although not really wanting to hear it in all honesty) into some mental, crazed stalker just as disturbing as the thought of this guy embarassing himself further.
I agree largely with the posts saying that this probably is not a good idea.

So many threads attract huge multiple-post responses turning what in the most case are probably genuine naive type situations that people are facing for first time. As said earlier its easy to forget what being young is like and its clear some on here have had bad experiences of their own hence their type of advice in many posts.

As sopmeone said above the OP needs to make this about his ex not himself, a bit like some posters on here I guess.......

aliasojo

coolcait wrote: »

Part of giving 'helpful advice' can involve putting yourself in the shoes of the other person.


In this case, if I put myself in the shoes of the young woman whom the OP declares is "the love of his life", I would find his proposed behaviour odd - at best.

You don't need to explain it to me, I do recognise and understand the points made about this chap's intended behaviour.

However, my point is that assuming he is what people are accusing him of, is foolish given than none of you know him or her.

It's irrelevant what anyone else would feel. It's irrelevant what anyone else has experienced. None of you know anything about this couple but that hasn't stopped you from getting the 'tar' brush out and branding him a freaky stalker and making assertions about his intentions.

I find it slightly perturbing that some people would automatically be 'freaked' at being sent 6 cards and given a bunch of flowers in person by someone you'd shared a life and a bed with for 6 years tbh. Personally I'd find it embarrassing but that's all.

The point I'm making is that we don't all think the same way and since we have no way of knowing whose take in this situation is the more accurate, what right do any of us have to tell the bloke he is a freaky stalker?

I'd be more freaked at a total stranger doing this. But then there never seems to be any room for individuality on MSE these days. If people can't understand someone else's feelings then that's it, attack mode is automatically switched on, wild assertions are made and mob mentality reigns supreme. Again.

The guy has been told by everyone that this is a bad idea. And that's where it should have stopped, but no, people aren't happy with his 'thanks for the advice but I don't agree with you stance' and they continue to harangue him and in some cases, almost accuse him of violence.

MSE at it's best. :rotfl:

Bazey

Have you though about a threesome? You and a pal could double team her.

FBaby

Calien27 wrote: »

She told you she isn't in love with you anymore, what more do you need to realize all of this is a bad idea?

She might have said this in anger/frustration and not mean it. I don't know why everyone is giving OP such a hard time. So he messed up in the past. He won't be the first especially at this age. He now believe he can really make a difference and so understandbly want to show the woman he loves that it is the case. Nothing wrong with this. It is then left for her to want to give it yet another go or not.

OP is only wanting to be himself and if being himself is to go ahead with his plan, then that's what he should do. The only no no is if it becomes harrassement. That will be when she tells him clearly she doesn't appreciate it and wants no contact from him any longer. OP had made it clear here that if that happened, he would move on, so where is the harm in him doing what he thinks could possibly win her back? He has nothing to lose giving it a try. As said, he knows her better than anyone here and maybe it will indeed work.

warehouse

Captain_Charisma wrote: »

I'll be back on February 15th with the outcome, I'm going to send the first card tomorrow...

And like I've said before, Valentines Day is my last chance, once Valentines is over I'll know once and for all where I stand and that I made every effort to try make things right and in all probability I'll have to accept that I have to move on.

That means you won't then I presume?

In years to come you'll absolutely cringe at what your doing now. Please don't.

Calien27

FBaby wrote: »

She might have said this in anger/frustration and not mean it. I don't know why everyone is giving OP such a hard time. So he messed up in the past. He won't be the first especially at this age. He now believe he can really make a difference and so understandbly want to show the woman he loves that it is the case. Nothing wrong with this. It is then left for her to want to give it yet another go or not.

OP is only wanting to be himself and if being himself is to go ahead with his plan, then that's what he should do. The only no no is if it becomes harrassement. That will be when she tells him clearly she doesn't appreciate it and wants no contact from him any longer. OP had made it clear here that if that happened, he would move on, so where is the harm in him doing what he thinks could possibly win her back? He has nothing to lose giving it a try. As said, he knows her better than anyone here and maybe it will indeed work.

This is the second time she's left him, the second time the OP has tried grand gestures and eventually slipped back into the old routine of doing nothing the first time they got back together. If by some slim chance they do get back together, six months from now the OP will probably be asking how to win her back again because he's refusing to learn from the mistakes he's made and keeps making.

The girl has most likely moved on, the OP needs to do the same. If someone says they don't love you anymore you don't start bombarding them with cards, letters and songs and you certainly don't show up to their place of work like the OP plans to do.

sassyblue

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

Can the OP just stop and pause for a moment.
This thread is all about YOU and what YOU want.
Have to you stopped to listen to your ex and listen to what SHE wants?
You mentioned your selfish attitude in previous posts and this is just more of it.

Reminds me of the thread a few weeks ago from the soldier (or ex soldier), his ex told him they were over, her friends and family had told him it was over but HE decided it wasn't so made comments like his ex didn't know her own mind and was being influenced by others.... He never came back after we told him he was wasting his time.

Can't wait to see how this one pans out though.

unoriginal_uk

sassyblue wrote: »

Reminds me of the thread a few weeks ago from the soldier (or ex soldier), his ex told him they were over, her friends and family had told him it was over but HE decided it wasn't so made comments like his ex didn't know her own mind and was being influenced by others.... He never came back after we told him he was wasting his time.

Can't wait to see how this one pans out though.

I have a feeling we will never know.....

Stephb1986_2

I'm wondering how day 1 card 1 has turned out

Steph xx