How do you know when he likes you?

Lotus-eater

SuzieSue wrote: »

Agreed, it's not ideal, but also it isn't ridiculously large like you get with rich old men marrying girls less than half their age (or the other way round).

No it's not, I just have some personal experience I suppose, with parents and friends.

love4cats

The age thing doesn't bother me. I'm 30 and him being 41, it isn't a big deal to me.

maryroberts

Just read through this thread - sorry if I've missed this, but does he actually know that you're single? He may really fancy you but is not sure whether you're attached or not?

getmore4less

12 years is a big gap especialy if you can't coordinate retirement.

If you can't ask direct what about the friend of a friend approach, is there anyone you know thatknows him or one of his friends so you can ask about any info on what he is like how long has he been single, what didthe last relationship end.

Word will get back to him.


Some guys are oblivious to the signs that someone fancies them allthoiugh maybe not this guy.

SuzieSue

love4cats wrote: »

The age thing doesn't bother me. I'm 30 and him being 41, it isn't a big deal to me.

I agree with you. There is 9 years between me and my OH and I can't see it being a problem when I am 70 and he is 79.

love4cats

maryroberts wrote: »

Just read through this thread - sorry if I've missed this, but does he actually know that you're single? He may really fancy you but is not sure whether you're attached or not?

That's a good point tbh. I couldn't say if he does or not.

love4cats

getmore4less wrote: »

12 years is a big gap especialy if you can't coordinate retirement.

If you can't ask direct what about the friend of a friend approach, is there anyone you know thatknows him or one of his friends so you can ask about any info on what he is like how long has he been single, what didthe last relationship end.

Word will get back to him.


Some guys are oblivious to the signs that someone fancies them allthoiugh maybe not this guy.

Blimey, hold your horses! I'm 30, and retirement is a long long way off and I aint the kind to look that far ahead. I'm only concerned with the here and now

As for the friend of a friend, we only have work colleagues in common, and there is only really 1 lass I could talk to about it but I get the feeling she's not overly keen on getting involved so I'd rather leave her out.

miss_independent

love4cats wrote: »

Blimey, hold your horses! I'm 30, and retirement is a long long way off and I aint the kind to look that far ahead. I'm only concerned with the here and now

As for the friend of a friend, we only have work colleagues in common, and there is only really 1 lass I could talk to about it but I get the feeling she's not overly keen on getting involved so I'd rather leave her out.

If your not that sure you want a long term relationship with him then I don't see the age gap being a problem at all. I'm only a couple of years younger than you and I'm not phased by men in their early 40's either. But in the long term I can't deny it's an issue. Like Lotus-Eater I've seen problems in marriages and relationships because of a large age gap. But I think if you genuinely love someone and want to be with them in the long run then you are prepared to make sacrifices.

A friend of mine married a man 35 years older than her. He died six years later, still quite young. She doesn't regret it at all, as heartbroken as she is. She was prepared she might spend a significant part of her life nursing him. Before people jump to conclusions, he wasn't wealthy or a dirty old man - it was a genuine love match. The way my friend looks on it she had a happy six years and his final years were the happiest of his life.

But we aren't necessarily talking about marriage here with OP. She just wants to go out with him!

ukjoel

This isn't rocket science.

Catch his eye in team meetings and smile, does he smile back?
IF YES
Then hold the stare for slightly longer than is comfortable - does he do the same?
IF YES
Show him a report you have put together/seen/ found sitting around on a photocopier. - Sit a little too close (those chairs on wheels have a mind of their own) review report.
IF HE REMAINS INTERESTED IN THE DULL REPORT
Using your hand point out bits, then occasionally (accidentally) touch his hand.
IF HE DOESNT SHRINK BACK
A bit of arm touching - followed by moving chair so possible knee on knee contact.
IF HE HASNT MOVED AWAY.
Flag something interesting on his desk - and steer conversation away from report onto something more personal.
MIRROR HIS BODY LANGUAGE - ALWAYS REPLY POSITIVELY. LAUGH AT HIS JOKES.

If all goes well go for the soft sell - I used to go for the Orange Wednesday takedown. Love a film, two for one on weds but never have anyone to go with.

OH I WILL GO WITH YOU.

JOB DONE - Start planning the wedding........

love4cats

ukjoel wrote: »

This isn't rocket science.

Catch his eye in team meetings and smile, does he smile back?
IF YES
Then hold the stare for slightly longer than is comfortable - does he do the same?
IF YES
Show him a report you have put together/seen/ found sitting around on a photocopier. - Sit a little too close (those chairs on wheels have a mind of their own) review report.
IF HE REMAINS INTERESTED IN THE DULL REPORT
Using your hand point out bits, then occasionally (accidentally) touch his hand.
IF HE DOESNT SHRINK BACK
A bit of arm touching - followed by moving chair so possible knee on knee contact.
IF HE HASNT MOVED AWAY.
Flag something interesting on his desk - and steer conversation away from report onto something more personal.
MIRROR HIS BODY LANGUAGE - ALWAYS REPLY POSITIVELY. LAUGH AT HIS JOKES.

If all goes well go for the soft sell - I used to go for the Orange Wednesday takedown. Love a film, two for one on weds but never have anyone to go with.

OH I WILL GO WITH YOU.

JOB DONE - Start planning the wedding........

Did you take that from the Ladybird Book of Office Dating? :rotfl: Only kidding

Tbh it's not that kind of work, i work in the post room and he works in the warehouse.