How do you know when he likes you?

tesuhoha

This kind of reminds me of when I was 15. I was a post girl in an office and I had a crush on a lad who worked in the print room. He was very charming and friendly with all the girls. I was very shy.

At Christmas I received a card and I could not read the name written on it so I assumed it was from him. I then sent him a Christmas card. He responded to this by coming up from the print room and putting his arm round me to say thanks. I smiled and said 'thanks for yours'. Immediately his expression froze, he took his arm away and left the office. I realised to my dismay that he hadn't sent the card and thought I was being sarcastic. :eek:

The embarrassment this caused me went on for years especially when I used to see him with his wife in town and they stopped to speak to me (he married another girl in the office who chased him and asked him out).

Don't know why I thought of that. Maybe it was the post room job.

love4cats

lostinrates wrote: »

It's exactly your lack of self confidence that makes me think office dating is a potentially very bad move for you.

How do you mean? I'm not confident but I'm discreet and mature.

thorsoak

What is stopping you from saying to him "hi - next week could well be my last week here - would you like to come for a drink to celebrate/commiserate with me?" If he then stalls a bit you can always add ..."with the rest of the guys"!

If he says he's washing his hair that night, you'll know he's not interested

love4cats

thorsoak wrote: »

What is stopping you from saying to him "hi - next week could well be my last week here - would you like to come for a drink to celebrate/commiserate with me?" If he then stalls a bit you can always add ..."with the rest of the guys"!

If he says he's washing his hair that night, you'll know he's not interested

haha i like it!

Errata

love4cats wrote: »

How do you mean? I'm not confident but I'm discreet and mature.

If you have to be discrete about a bloke, you're planning to date the wrong bloke.

love4cats

Errata wrote: »

If you have to be discrete about a bloke, you're planning to date the wrong bloke.

I meant discreet at work.

lostinrates

love4cats wrote: »

How do you mean? I'm not confident but I'm discreet and mature.

I mean that if this is so agonising, and I have sympathy for your shyness, then a failure of the relationship to thrive might well be very many times worse for you.

For example, while you might be discrete, he might not be, and he might discuss in an unprofessional manner, the 'success' or failure of the relationship and why. If you are toe curling ly shy then feeling a if you might be the subject of conversation, details you might not want shared, could make you feel hellish at work and very much less secure than you currently feel.

Errata

love4cats wrote: »

I meant discreet at work.

So did I.............

CC-Warrior

tesuhoha wrote: »

But if you were really really keen on someone would you not make some kind of effort to get to know her?

Yes, you would. But asking someone out is a different thing, as that leaves you wide open to rejection. If you've been rejected in the past you may end up thinking that you'll automatically be rejected.

I'd say even in these modern times, most women still prefer the man to do the asking..

CC-Warrior

lostinrates wrote: »

I mean that if this is so agonising, and I have sympathy for your shyness, then a failure of the relationship to thrive might well be very many times worse for you.

For example, while you might be discrete, he might not be, and he might discuss in an unprofessional manner, the 'success' or failure of the relationship and why. If you are toe curling ly shy then feeling a if you might be the subject of conversation, details you might not want shared, could make you feel hellish at work and very much less secure than you currently feel.

Good point, but it depends on the person. I wouldn't go out with anyone who openly divulges personal information to their work colleagues for example.

Also I think being in a relationship can be a real confidence boost to both parties. It's much easier to find a relationship when you're already in one! You have that extra 'glow' about you and there is also evidence to suggest that being seen as unavailable is attractive in itself.