How do you know when he likes you?

lostinrates

CC-Warrior wrote: »

Good point, but it depends on the person. I wouldn't go out with anyone who openly divulges personal information to their work colleagues for example.

Also I think being in a relationship can be a real confidence boost to both parties. It's much easier to find a relationship when you're already in one! You have that extra 'glow' about you and there is also evidence to suggest that being seen as unavailable is attractive in itself.

She cannot guage whether he likes her or not. Guaging the finer points of his personality is not likely to be accurate either! Tbh, if it were that easy, we'd all save a lot of heartache in break ups!


I am of the school of thought that confidence in oneself breeds stronger, healthier relationships, rather than relationships breeding stronger healthier people in the main. The early stages of relationships can be particularly stressful for those lacking in self confidence, just as being in a secure relationship or feeling attractive in a relationship can be a boost. Swings and roundabouts for some people.

love4cats

lostinrates wrote: »

I mean that if this is so agonising, and I have sympathy for your shyness, then a failure of the relationship to thrive might well be very many times worse for you.

For example, while you might be discrete, he might not be, and he might discuss in an unprofessional manner, the 'success' or failure of the relationship and why. If you are toe curling ly shy then feeling a if you might be the subject of conversation, details you might not want shared, could make you feel hellish at work and very much less secure than you currently feel.

Ahh righto. I get what you mean but I get the feeling this guy isn't the type to go discussing his private life at work. There are of course those who do, but not him.

love4cats

lostinrates wrote: »

She cannot guage whether he likes her or not. Guaging the finer points of his personality is not likely to be accurate either! Tbh, if it were that easy, we'd all save a lot of heartache in break ups!


I am of the school of thought that confidence in oneself breeds stronger, healthier relationships, rather than relationships breeding stronger healthier people in the main. The early stages of relationships can be particularly stressful for those lacking in self confidence, just as being in a secure relationship or feeling attractive in a relationship can be a boost. Swings and roundabouts for some people.

Just to clear something up though, I'm not confident when it comes to asking someone out, but I've never really had a problem when I'm actually in a relationship. The ones I've had have ended because of other reasons, not because of my confidence levels.

Lotus-eater

love4cats wrote: »

Just to clear something up though, I'm not confident when it comes to asking someone out,

I don't know why you think guys should be different!

They're not, they have exactly the same issues as you. Plus he's 10 years older than you, so may well be thinking you'd call him a dirty old man if he asked.

Ask him and stop worrying about it. If he says no, you said you might not be there much longer anyway.

love4cats

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I don't know why you think guys should be different!

Some on here seem to think otherwise. It only adds to the confusion when you've got so many people saying 'if he likes you he'll make it clear' but then so many saying 'men can be shy too so he might not make the first move'.:undecided

Lotus-eater

love4cats wrote: »

Some on here seem to think otherwise. It only adds to the confusion when you've got so many people saying 'if he likes you he'll make it clear' but then so many saying 'men can be shy too so he might not make the first move'.:undecided

No one here knows who is right, he might be shy or worried about the reaction, he might not be.
Who knows?

If you are serious about wanting to go out with him, then ask him, or forever wonder.

love4cats

Lotus-eater wrote: »

No one here knows who is right, he might be shy or worried about the reaction, he might not be.
Who knows?

If you are serious about wanting to go out with him, then ask him, or forever wonder.

I know you're right. But my gut instinct is telling me that if I have to make the first move, I should wait a little longer. See what this week brings first, maybe seek advice from the lass at work who I know won't say anything and who has known him a lot longer.

VestanPance

Those saying if he's interested you'd know tend to be spilling out some dating advice gibberish to be blunt.

Us guys are fairly simple creatures, but we're not all the same. For example the he'd let you know angle completely rules out my mate I mentioned earlier. In fact he would have demolished that rule. He would happily chat away with any girl he had no romantic interest in. The very second he had some romantic interest he went right into super shy guy mode. That's the exact reverse of what any of these "dating rules" would have told you. Thankfully for him his now wife picked up on him cowering when she was about compared to being an outgoing chatty guy with others as a sign that he was interested in her and so she decided to ask him out. No words can actually explain how frustrating it was to us (his friends) trying to get him to man up and just ask someone out he was interested in for the best part of ten years (three of those hung up on the woman who eventually married) before they finally got together.

I think Lotus-Eater makes a good point. From your description the guy isn't shy. The age thing could be a reason why he hasn't made a move. He may think that you'd think he was a dirty old man. I'll openly admit if I was looking I would never consider approaching a woman ten years younger, as I'd probably think that is what she'd think I was.

You can play games. You can guess. You can try and read between the lines. Simple truth is ask and you shall know. He could say no, but at least you'd know and can move on. I know this advice may not be what you want to hear, but it's the only 100% sure way to find out. All that dating website/self help book jargon is really worthless.

The he'll let you know if interested would work once the ice is broken. You go on a date and if he likes you he'll get in touch. As for making the approach in the first place, that's more personality type than anything else. Some guys will chat up women as sport. Some guys will hold a candle for a single woman for years but never have the courage to ask her out.

geoffky

Ask him what he thinks about internet dating,Then angle the conversation as needed..
And my wife asked me out...

VestanPance

I will say that I do think my friend got very lucky. If any blokes are reading, make your move if interested, because no matter who much things have changed and evolved the vast majority of women still won't ask a guy out and expect the guy to go after them.

If you're a naturally shy bloke then you need to take some risks, or else expect to end up with a lot of meals for one.