Should we be expected to pay Mums bills

rose28454

Moral dillemma question for you all.
As you know my Dad died and Mum has about £12,000.00 that he left her in bank. Dad was quite tight and Mum did without a lot as he would not spend ( except to hand money to oldest brother for failed businesses-another story).
So I am managing Mums finances and she gets pension credit aswell as her pension. Have done a MSE overhaul and got her house insurance down by £30.00 per month and her water is on a meter saving £27.00 per month.
When Dad died Mum paid for the funeral out of the bank. However my oldest sister keeps saying Mum should not touch the money as it was Dad's money. So now evertime there is a large bill to pay ( i.e.the headstone) she puts out a message that we five children have to pay. Now my younger brother and I are both strapped financially so cant really help but younger sister is ok but is getting fed up of being asked as Mum now says she is saving the money as our inheritance and sis thinks that will be unfair as younger brother and I will get same as the rest who have been paying.
What do you think ? Is it right for Mum to expect us to pay or not? I had a row with her this week as when I mentioned it she said it is our duty.

shelley_crow

Absolutely not, she has money in the bank, she has no right to sit on £12k and expect her kids to pay for everything.

In terms of inheritance, there's no guarantees, your mother could easily change her will at the last minute and leave everything to the cats home. She shouldn't be using this as blackmail to get her bills paid for her. I'm sure we'd all love to live for free!

fawd1

seems a bit of an odd one. Your sister is basically saying she'll spend money to get an inheritance, which surely would balance itself out anyway. Maybe all sit down together, agree either to all chip in and split the inheritance when your mum passes away OR, let your mum pay for things, then split what's left OR, when your mum does pass away whoever put money in can have it back and what is left can be split.

Either way, I find the whole "don't let mum spend money because I want it when she's dead" really distasteful. It's HER money, she should be able to spend it jetting to Turkey with a 21 year old Egyptian lover if she so chooses. As for your sister saying it's your dads money, she's clueless. Legally and morally.

LannieDuck

If you're asking whether the funeral expenses should come out of your Dad's estate? IMO, the answer is yes.

[Deleted User]

Agree with above poster - it should come out of the £12,000 that your dad left.

Why does she think it shouldn't?

peachyprice

She's got £12k in the bank, she should use that for you fathers headstone.

What does your sister mean when she says your mum shouldn't spend the money because it was your dads? It's your mum's money now to be spent as necessary, or if your sister really believes it's somehow still your dad's then surely it's ok to spend it on his headstone?

It sounds to me as if your sister is being a bit greedy here, is she expecting that money to sit in your mum's bank until she dies just so there's enough for inheritance while your mum has to ask you for handouts?

Rikki

Domino9 wrote: »

Agree with above poster - it should come out of the £12,000 that your dad left.

Why does she think it shouldn't?

I don't think the Mum says it shouldn't.

The eldest daughter has said the 12k is still her Dad's

However my oldest sister keeps saying Mum should not touch the money as it was Dad's money

The eldest daughter is wrong, her Dad's money now belongs to her Mum and she can spend the money if she wishes.

RedBern

What does your mum want to do with her money?

aliasojo

Eldest sister is wrong. End of.

Suggest you all meet up to discuss the realities of life asap.

If you don't, you will be set on this route for the foreseeable.

shays_mum

Your sister can't have it both ways, she is telling your mum not to touch (legally) her money in the bank, at the same time doesn't want to help with expenses either.

Seems to me she is angling to take the whole lot somehow.

Your mum is now the head of the family & as such should not be placed in the middle of bickering kids. She needs to make her own decisions & your sister needs to abide by them.

RAS

Is mum claiming any benefits? If so has she declared these savings as they will affect her entitlement to means-tested benefits? Now and at any time in the future.

This money is NOT an inheritance for the children from dad (via mum). Legally it is now mum's money to do with what she wants, although if she is on a low income google "derivation of assets" in case anyone thinks it is a good idea for mum to give you all the inheritance early.