Relationship

TimBear

crvs wrote: »

All,
I have been married for 5 years now. My husband closeness to his parents makes me more vulnerable. After his parents first visit on March 2009 - September 2009 everything went wrong. During the time, I was under lot of job pressure and other issues. Even before they arrived , my husband's high talk about them that they will be wonderful parents in law etc made me stressful . To be honest , I didnt like them coming at all at that point.

Hang on, so you had never met them and your husband had said nothing but good things about them, but you decided you didn't like them and didn't want them to come?

I think you have started off on the complete wrong foot with them, and only you can work out why that is, but I suggest you start trying to change your ways. Your husband's parents will ALWAYS be his parents - they're not going to go away. You either have to learn to be civil and actually get on with them, or you run the risk of pushing your husband away.

shays_mum

Hi Op,
Sometimes you going to have to accept that you can't change your situation, what is so bad about her doing the shopping & cooking?!, i would be pleased, esp if i was pregnant!.

I understand from your background that things growing up were not good, but you have to look forward to building a better life for you & your child. My parents also came from a very very poor village background & i have seen their struggles.

You are married now & certain things are expected of you as an Asian bride, all i can say you go along with it or you swim against the tide & fight everyone every step of the way. So what if she complains to your family?!, what's the worst that can happen if you just ignore her?.

I walk in your shoes everyday, but as a mother of 2, i learnt to pick the fights i could win in my own way.

Sorry this may not be what you want to hear, but the reality is, your expectations in your marriage were not met, he is not violent/abusive/drunk etc many would say, if your from a poor background & in the UK its a good gamble?.

The other alternative is divorce (you said you have already moved out before) & this is not something i would want, being pregnant as well.

Hope this is hormones only my dear & remember the same way you care for your parents, he does as well.