Am I too overprotective of my Son?

marisco_2

mrcow wrote: »

Really not trying to be a pedant, but as a Jack Lemmon fan, it has to be said. He was just a wonderfully funny actor and would be worth any 11 year old watching.

Not to be confused with Keith Lemon - a pointless waste of airtime. Hardly suitable veiwing material for a young pre-teen.

You are right, I was thinking of Keith Lemon but wrote the wrong name.

Wellyboots6

When I was at secondary school I was bullied all the way through.
I didn't have a TV in my room and so couldn't watch what all the other kids did.

Eventually my parents gave in and let me stay downstairs to watch what I wanted (knowing full well the heating would be off and I would get too cold and go to bed at a reasonable time through choice!).

It didn't help, as the bullies knew I was only watching these programs to try and fit in and stop the bullying, and so it gave them even more ammunition!

By the last year of school I was that sick of being bullied that I became a 'goth' to deliberately not fit in. This seemed to work as the bullies can't pick on you for being different if you are intentionally trying to be different!

I'm just trying to say that if your son does try to fit in by doing what everyone else apparently is doing, it may actually make things worse. He needs to find his own interests and as others have said, a group of friends with similar interests.

At the age of 16 my friends were all going out to nightclubs. My parents agreed that I could go with them, even let everyone get changed at our house and gave us a lift to town. We got to the nightclub, everyone else went in, I took one look and decided it wasn't for me and went home.

Given the choice, your son may actually decide he doesn't like half the stuff the other kids are doing anyway!

motherofstudents

It sounds like your son is a decent, nice boy. Unfortunately the not so nice boys will pick on him and you need to get the backing of the school. It's a hard transition for him to make but he will make friends with similar children who have been brought up properly. My kids went to a rather rough inner city school and had a couple of trips to A &E but on the whole, they managed to cope with the rough kids by avoiding them and on occasion, standing up to them. You have taught your son good values, he will not forget that. It's a difficult age, you have to let go a bit, but use your common sense and I'm sure he will be fine.

cheepskate_2

marisco wrote: »

No you should not lower your standards, just so your child can fit in with children who are clearly being dragged up.

Wonder if all the other parents in the school think that its the OP's son who is being dragged up, with him being allowed to swear at his parents and all.Maybe its his filthy mouth that is getting him in trouble with his peers


How some people can come to the conclusion that kids who play certain computer games are dragged up is beyond belief.

My son plays 18 games,At no point would my son turn round and swear at me, and if he did, it certainly would not be seen as "normal" But if swearing at your parents is being brought up good , then I would rather drag my child up.

sassyblue

Person_one wrote: »

Ah, I'd missed that.

Defending yourself when you're attacked is one thing, setting out to attack others is another thing entirely.

The OP should report the attack to the police, but of course if her child were to attack another then that should be reported too.

Glad you saw it. I don't like violence either but as a child l was taught if someone hit me I should hit them back twice as hard - and it worked for me. Those who never fought back continued to be picked on.

There's something galling to me that one child can hit another and then be 'spoken to' about it, I'd rather they were slapped back at the time so they learn how it feels.

marisco_2

Claire212 wrote: »

The source of this bullying apparently is the fact that my son is not 'into' everything that his peers are and it would seem that despite trying to raise a polite well behaved child I have unwittingly made my son socially inept.

11/12 year old boys are apparently glued to X-Boxes and Playstation 3's playing 18 rated games with the blessing of their parents. They have unlimited access to you tube etc and are watching adult themed programmes with wild abandon. Parental Control is thrown out the window. It does not exist.

When I expressed the view that children were being dragged up it was in response to this. To allow children access to this kind of media, and in my opinion Keith Lemon who is a vulgar waste of airtime, is not raising them well.

It speaks volums that the children who are being brought up this way think nothing of bullying another child. They are hardly growing into pleasant, decent young people are they?

cheepskate_2

Marisco, You make very dangerous sweeping statement. and so does the OP. Can you point me to the facts that say children who play computer games are bullies.

Bear in mind COD is the top selling game:) and Keith Lemon is one of the big stars so there must be quite a lot of badly brought up children

Valli

marisco wrote: »

It speaks volumes that the children who are being brought up this way think nothing of bullying another child. They are hardly growing into pleasant, decent young people are they?

That's one of the most sensible comments about the effects of allowing minors to watch adult TV or play adult themed games I have ever read.

OP lives in Nottinghamshire. Not so very long ago a young lad from Notts., allowed to watch violent films, apparently, murdered his own mother. Yet other parents just don't see the harm in it. Sadly.

mrcow

cheepskate wrote: »

Marisco, You make very dangerous sweeping statement. and so does the OP Can you point me to the facts that say children who play computer games are bullies.

Bear in mind COD is the top selling game:) so there must be quite a lot of badly brought up children

Call of duty is supposed to be played by people over the age of 18.

There is a reason for that - because it is wholly inappropriate for someone of the age of 11.

Valli

cheepskate wrote: »

Marisco, You make very dangerous sweeping statement. and so does the OP Can you point me to the facts that say children who play computer games are bullies.

OP's child is being bullied by 'children' who do play these games and she believes the reason is because her son DOESN'T play these games.

So personal experience of OP is being discussed.