Am I too overprotective of my Son?

quietheart

Claire212 wrote: »

I am obviously going about my child raising all wrong.

From several of the posts many posters believe it is acceptable for children to do these things.

I do not advertise myself as a perfect parent with the view that everyone else is wrong.

I am not telling my son that other children have bad parents or slagging off the other kids. Mearly telling him that I do not accept that in my house. For example "I don't care if Freddies Mum and Dad let him play Call of Duty until 3 in the morning. You are not allowed".

I can not help but feel as though I am being made out to be the bad parent in all of this.....

We had to change schools due to moving house through work, so his friends have not moved up with him, although he stays in contact.

I will have to think this one through as it has not been the response I was expecting.

that always happens on mse these days.
i think you are right. i wish you all the best of luck in helping your son deal with the nasty bullies he is encountering.

System

CH27 wrote: »

Yes sadly there are.
There are lots of violent, foul mouthed children in the country & sadly they haven't been taught any better.
Even sadder is the fact they will have children & drag them up the same way.

Wow, stereotyping much? :rotfl:

My parents must be terrible! Oh wait..they're not..

j.e.j.

Claire212 wrote: »

I have an 11 year old son who started upper school in September. He has gone from a primary school of 300 children to a school with 1200. We knew it would be a big change for him but we knew he was polite, well behaved and we didn't think he would have a problem fitting in.

We couldn't have been more wrong. He has become the target of constant bullying and tends to tag along with other groups and only has one true friend. He has even been attacked on the way home from school requiring a visit to A&E.

The source of this bullying apparently is the fact that my son is not 'into' everything that his peers are and it would seem that despite trying to raise a polite well behaved child I have unwittingly made my son socially inept.

11/12 year old boys are apparently glued to X-Boxes and Playstation 3's playing 18 rated games with the blessing of their parents. They have unlimited access to you tube etc and are watching adult themed programmes with wild abandon. Parental Control is thrown out the window. It does not exist.

I should point out that we do live in an area with some social deprivation but we never thought that this could happen in a million years.

I have never allowed my son to play games that were not age appropriate and I do not allow him internet access un supervised. I certainly wouldn't want him watching anything sexually explicit. He is now coming home and asking me questions about things that he has heard at school.
He feels embarrassed that he doesn't know what they mean, and is experiencing the bullying/ teasing and social outcasting that goes with it.

Am I harming my son? Should I allow him to play on these games just to fit in? Shoud I allow him to watch !!!!!! on you tube or Keith Lemon with his bits out on a weeknight?

We expected the using swear words, it's natural and part of growing up. But this has quite frankly shocked me.

I would love to hear your views.

x

If the situation is allowed to continue your son will be dumbing down to fit in with his peers in order to avoid bullying and hassle from the other kids. Can you get him into a decent school, or even home-school him? I think that would be a better option than letting him watch age-restricted films and play unsuitable games, and watching !!!!!! on the net :eek:

You've painted such a picture of secondary school that frankly I would have no qualms about home-schooling the child. It is becoming more popular now, and I can see why!!

FBaby

It all comes down to either the school nurturing poor values and standards, and if that was my kids' school, I would definitely look at moving. My 12yo school is nothing like that and I would be horrified it is was that unless you don't watch these programmes, or play violent games, you should be bullied.

Or... your son is being bullying for a number of reasons, but picked on specific incidences that are not really the essence of the bullying. I believe it is common amongst children bullied to relay such reasons as not wanting to join in forbidden activities when it might very well be do to totally different reasons. I think it might be worth investigating whether there might be more into it than this.

By the way, the view that French parents let their children drink wine is nothing more than an English stereotype of the French that dates back to the pre-war. Thankfully, education principles have since moved on....

Mrs_Arcanum

A friend of my sons was bullied by his former primary school peer group. This stopped once he was moved into the same class as DS and away from the bullies.

You really do have to push some schools to deal with bullying as they would rather you went away & did nothing. Much easier to ignore the few victims than properly deal with the many in the bullies group. As many others have said a little flexibility over the age rated games would be an easy thing to allow. Obviously making sure you are happy with the uprating.

Some children do take longer than others to settle as they have gone from being the big fish in a little pond to a little fish in a huge lake. Some react by bullying & sadly they will always look for an easy victim.

May be worth mentioning the bullying to your sons Kick boxing tutor to see if they can help with confidence boosting and smart avoidance tactics.

cheepskate_2

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Is that your best shot? What a pathetic come back.

You still haven't answered my question...

WHY do YOU think there are age categories on video games if you continue to maintain that they are not there to protect younger users from being exposed to inappropriate material?

In society we always have hysteria from some quarter about something or other, suppose it makes people feel they are better than others. Each generation of parents thinks some new technology will unbalance their kids.

Generation before it was age related movies, Has everyone who watched a movie that wasn't age appropriate turned into a physco

Before movies I remember all the who ha about ..........wait for it.......................ELVIS. How he would turn the children into sex raving lunatics, The government wanted to ban him. so where are all the 60/70 year old nymphs now.

ruby-roo_2

cheepskate wrote: »

In society we always have hysteria from some quarter about something or other, suppose it makes people feel they are better than others. Each generation of parents thinks some new technology will unbalance their kids.

You seriously dont think children watching !!!!!! and xrated films is harmful to them emotionally? The views raised on this thread have nothing to do with one upmanship or appearing better than others. Some parents apply common sense, some dont!

cheepskate_2

Who mentioned !!!!!! films, New one to this thread

ruby-roo_2

Claire212 wrote: »

They have unlimited access to you tube etc and are watching adult themed programmes with wild abandon.

The above is from the first post cheapskate. It doesn't take much to work out that adult themed programmes on you tube are most likely sexually explicit.

The OP also asked if she shoud allow her child to watch !!!!!! further down the same thread. Did you not read those bits cheapskate?

It is laughable that your come back didn't answer my question. I notice you have done that to other posters on here too.

affordmylife

i work in a mainstream high school and honestly your lovely son is in the minority and in my school would also be a target for bullies. its tragic but true.

btw i work in a ofsted rated outstanding school in an affluent area. makes no difference. its the way of the world im sad to say xx