Am I too overprotective of my Son?

nfollows1982

I'll admit I'm posting this having not read all the replies, but it does seem that some parents who have commented want to wrap their kids in cotton wool!!

Whether you chose to like it or not, 11 year old kids, especially boys, are into a lot of things that you might not like.

I don't accept this view that parents who let their sons play Call of Duty or watch Keith Lemon are deprived etc etc IMHO that's entirely reasonable of a boy that age and there's no wonder that your son doesn't fit in at school!

It's all good and well saying get him into other activities, but how is that going to help him when nobody else at school is interested in what he's doing?

I feel incredibly sorry for your son!!

VestanPance

My youth was spent in a rough town on the outskirts of Glasgow and as much as it might annoy some people to accept it part of surviving that as a young boy was being able to handle yourself in a fight. That meant stepping up to bullies if they had a go.

The kids that really suffered where the ones that didn't. I had a few fights as a kid, but not one as an adult. As an adult I can easily go out my way to avoid such situations. Adult life isn't like school life. I do think many young lads are going to find themselves in the position where they need to be able to take care of themselves.

You can be the nicest, most polite and caring lad in the world, but you still need to be able to stand up for yourself if provoked.

SmallL

Everyone is being incredibly stereotypical, at 10/11 i (as a female) was playing 18 games and also played very popular online games so i had contact with STRANGERS *gasp*.

Honestly, its possible at that age to be mature enough to realize that its not real and to be careful online etc. I haven't turned into some damaged adult because i was 'allowed' to be exposed to adult themes at such an age.

GlasweJen

I'm female and grew up in a council estate in the east end of Glasgow. I went to a huge high school and there was bullying but nothing much done about it.

I was a science geek and bullied for it but I sought out other geeks, took after school dance lessons and ignored the idiots - I learned that it only usually escalates when you retaliate.

My other half grew up in a nice area, was privately educated and I was astonished to find out he was 13 when he first looked at !!!!!! and his friend had sex on the school grounds at 14! This was before the Internet! The boys rebelled because their parents put the reins on way too tight, I think you should talk to your son and negotiate a bit of "breathing space" with him before he flies off the rails.

Joons

VestanPance wrote: »

My youth was spent in a rough town on the outskirts of Glasgow and as much as it might annoy some people to accept it part of surviving that as a young boy was being able to handle yourself in a fight. That meant stepping up to bullies if they had a go.

The kids that really suffered where the ones that didn't. I had a few fights as a kid, but not one as an adult. As an adult I can easily go out my way to avoid such situations. Adult life isn't like school life. I do think many young lads are going to find themselves in the position where they need to be able to take care of themselves.

You can be the nicest, most polite and caring lad in the world, but you still need to be able to stand up for yourself if provoked.

Good point. I bet every poster here has had at least one fight during their childhood, if not, they were lucky.

Joons

GlasweJen wrote: »

I'm female and grew up in a council estate in the east end of Glasgow. I went to a huge high school and there was bullying but nothing much done about it.

I was a science geek and bullied for it but I sought out other geeks, took after school dance lessons and ignored the idiots - I learned that it only usually escalates when you retaliate.

My other half grew up in a nice area, was privately educated and I was astonished to find out he was 13 when he first looked at !!!!!! and his friend had sex on the school grounds at 14! This was before the Internet! The boys rebelled because their parents put the reins on way too tight, I think you should talk to your son and negotiate a bit of "breathing space" with him before he flies off the rails.

See, difference with me was it wasn't until I did retaliate that the bullying stopped, I found the more I `put up` with it, the more it carried on.

Love your name btw lol.

Person_one

Has the OP indicated that there's been any violence towards her son?

If your 11 year old came home battered and told you another child had physically attacked them, you'd call the police wouldn't you? So will the parents of the children who are teasing the OP's son.

peachyprice

nfollows1982 wrote: »

I'll admit I'm posting this having not read all the replies, but it does seem that some parents who have commented want to wrap their kids in cotton wool!!

Whether you chose to like it or not, 11 year old kids, especially boys, are into a lot of things that you might not like.

I don't accept this view that parents who let their sons play Call of Duty or watch Keith Lemon are deprived etc etc IMHO that's entirely reasonable of a boy that age and there's no wonder that your son doesn't fit in at school!

It's all good and well saying get him into other activities, but how is that going to help him when nobody else at school is interested in what he's doing?

I feel incredibly sorry for your son!!

To be fair, OP hasn't actually said that her son WANTS to do any of those things. Speaking from my experience with my DD, she is the way she is because that's the way she wants to be, not because I want her to be.

mrcow

OP I think you need to step back a bit. He's attending a school with 1200 children. There will be more than your fair share of kids attending there who don't play on such games or watch stupid programs on tv.

As well as tackling the bullying problem by working through school procedures and consequences etc, you need to be thinking about helpin him develop his friendship groups. If he's in a good solid friendship group, he's less likely to be singled out (sad but true).

If he's had to leave his friends from his old school behind, then it's really important to establish new friendships. Start with one child who is friendly towards him and build it from there.

My son is the same age as yours and is a complete science/lego geek. He's aware of what lack OPs is (I think?) but has no interest it in. If someone asked him about it, he'd talk to them about it, but rationally as it's their interest, not his.

VestanPance

Person_one wrote: »

Has the OP indicated that there's been any violence towards her son?

Yes, her original post says her son required a visit to A&E after one attack.