Son is stingy

HappyMJ

concerned43 wrote: »

He only gets a fiver because 1) that's all I can afford and 2) I have to pay for everything.
Apart from food I also but his sweets and juice, he's not into mags etc but if he wants to hire a game/DVD I pay for that also....he wants for nothing but I want to cut back on some of his luxuries as I feel he has to learn that things cost money and money does not grow on trees. Even when out with family etc and I have given him money to spend, he will not hand it over to family member to pay for his entrance to cinema, popcorn etc leaving it up to whoever takes him to pick up the tab-needless to say he keeps the money

You really must learn to say no....stop giving him more money...increase his pocket money a bit I don't think £5 is enough either which is why I suggested giving the CB and giving him control over what is purchased except food and housing which you can use the tax credits and any housing benefit for and say that's it there isn't any more don't bother asking.

HappyMJ

neneromanova wrote: »

Why should her child get the benefit? Yes I get that it's child Benefit but surely that is more to go towards the Gas/Electricity/food/housing that the child REALLY needs, not just "fun things". I'm sure if that's what it really was for Tax payers would be up in arms about it.

He should get none of it. That is meant to be used to help house, feed, clothe him. Not let him buy games and stuff.

It's not for "fun things" it's for travel, clothing, haircuts, toiletries etc etc...it's about giving a child some control over a budget so that they know how much can be spent so that when they get older they know there is a limit and it's not just ask parents for anything at any time.

It works for me...I put food on table and roof over head give 12yo DD £20.30 a week and she buys everything she needs herself.

[Deleted User]

HappyMJ wrote: »

It's not for "fun things" it's for travel, clothing, haircuts, toiletries etc etc...it's about giving a child some control over a budget so that they know how much can be spent so that when they get older they know there is a limit and it's not just ask parents for anything at any time.

It works for me...I put food on table and roof over head give 12yo DD £20.30 a week and she buys everything she needs herself.

Child benefit is not 'state-given pocket money'. This boy is clearly having problems understanding that he cannot just horde money and must spend some of it at a point. Giving him more is unlikely to help.

themull1

It's not for "fun things" it's for travel, clothing, haircuts, toiletries etc etc...it's about giving a child some control over a budget so that they know how much can be spent so that when they get older they know there is a limit and it's not just ask parents for anything at any time.

It works for me...I put food on table and roof over head give 12yo DD £20.30 a week and she buys everything she needs herself.


Thats what its for in your family, in my family its to help with my kids upkeep like heating, lighting, etc. My daughter gets her phone paid off me, and £20 a month off her dad, and i buy everything else. Its my child benefit, not my daughters!

HappyMJ

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Child benefit is not 'state-given pocket money'. This boy is clearly having problems understanding that he cannot just horde money and must spend some of it at a point. Giving him more is unlikely to help.

OP is giving random amounts to go cinema with...that should stop completely. OP should stop buying sweets, renting games/DVD's and allow son to buy those things himself. How much do all those things add up to?

themull1 wrote: »

Thats what its for in your family, in my family its to help with my kids upkeep like heating, lighting, etc. My daughter gets her phone paid off me, and £20 a month off her dad, and i buy everything else. Its my child benefit, not my daughters!

I did that way to get control over the money going out. Originally it was I need money for new clothes/shoes/cinema visit/mates birthday without any warning at all to me...yet all the money had been allocated for the month already so it had to go onto credit card. Giving the CB and saying no to every request for money has limited my spend on those things to the exact amount of CB and she has control over what is spent/saved. The heating/lighting is paid anyway from wages, the rent/mortgage/council tax/water would have been paid anyway whether I had a child or not.

*zippy*

You can't do much with £5 these days, my youngest had £10 a week at 15 and she had the lowest of her friends. Eldest had more, but she had to get clothes out of hers too. At 16 though they knew they had to get part-time jobs and pocket money stops.

inkie

I give each of my children £40 per month. The only thing that I am responsible for buying for them is their school shoes/bag/uniform. Everything else they buy out of their allowance. I find that I am a lot better off than when I was giving them less pocket money, buying their clothing and then subbing them for this that and the other lol!

Robin_TBW

If he forgets his wallet then that's his own fault. If I forget my wallet when I go out it means I have to go back another time. He needs to learn that lesson - I thought everyone knew that to be fair.

lolavix

Why don't you get added as a third party on his bank account and have your own debit card on it? That was you can make him aware he is paying at the time.

dandelionclock30

I'd just tell him straight, that you will pay for his food, basic toiletries like soap etc and school clothes and some general everyday clothes.
Everything elce he pays for out of his own money and this includes, games, music, designer trainers,etc. I dont see how anyone unless they have severe learning difficulties cant understand this.
Explain that when he goes out shopping with you he will have to take his own money, otherwize he will have to wait until the next time you go shopping.
Also I wouldnt be giving him the child benefit, thats for you for his keep.Hes got 2 grand in the bank, and he needs to spend it and stop trying it on. If he wants it he spends his money, if not he goes without. Simple. Hes having you on OP.