Son is stingy

Valli

concerned43 wrote: »

The problem arises due to him asking for things when out shopping and not having his money, so I pay for it and when I ask for the money when home he denies agreeing to pay for it and then the arguments start.

So don't pay for it. [STRIKE]At 15 he's old enough to go to the shops on his own.[/STRIKE]
Ah - read that.

Or next time just remind him he hasn't paid you for the item you bought last time.

Or just say 'no'. No argument; no explanation. Just 'no'.

Given what you have now posted about him go with the latter, then.

And next time you go shopping tell him, before you go, that he needs to bring his wallet 'in case' he sees something he 'needs'.

TTC40

concerned43 wrote: »

The problem arises due to him asking for things when out shopping and not having his money, so I pay for it and when I ask for the money when home he denies agreeing to pay for it and then the arguments start.

Before you leave the house to go shopping, remind him to take some money.

If he then wants anything he can buy it. No money, no purchase, no argument !

Mojisola

concerned43 wrote: »

The problem arises due to him asking for things when out shopping and not having his money, so I pay for it and when I ask for the money when home he denies agreeing to pay for it and then the arguments start.

That's why there's the saying "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me".

Next time he wants to come shopping with you, tell him to bring some money in case he sees something he wants to buy. If he doesn't and sees something, tell him he can buy it next time when he remembers to have some money with him.

HappyMJ

ringo_24601 wrote: »

I'm going to challenge this every time someone mentions child benefits: Not every parent now receives them

The equivalent then...or £13.40 a week...

concerned43 wrote: »

I do get child benefit and ctc - how much of that should he get? I only work part-time and needs these benefits to pay for essential items

Just the child benefit.

Slinky

Then he has to learn that he'll have to wait until next time you take him shopping and he has money with him.

Valli

Consensus!

CH27

Mojisola wrote: »

That's why there's the saying "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me".

Next time he wants to come shopping with you, tell him to bring some money in case he sees something he wants to buy. If he doesn't and sees something, tell him he can buy it next time when he remembers to have some money with him.

I would do this.

podperson

At that age he should be paying for his own 'fun' items, such as dvds, games etc. I would say pay for his clothes but if he wants 'designer' gear then he needs to contribute a bit towards it. I wouldn't even get into discussion with him on it - if he wants xx he goes and buys it. End of.
I do agree with the above poster though that I would make it clear to him beforehand as him thinking you're going to buy him something and then taking the money off him afterwards is just going to lead to arguments.

RAS

concerned43 wrote: »

The problem arises due to him asking for things when out shopping and not having his money, so I pay for it and when I ask for the money when home he denies agreeing to pay for it and then the arguments start.

So stop buying it then.

No money on you? OK buy it next time you remember to bring it with you.

Then he can choose to go without or to buy it and you stop the arguements.

Outside that, you need to sit down and have a grown up conversation about what he pays for and what you pay for. Make it plain that as he grow older he will be paying for more and more and you expect him to look for part-time and holiday work.

If you are skint all the time and hate people being stingy, he may be kicking off against that.

Because actaully you need to be a bit more stingy and may end up less skint.

concerned43

Was skint after Xmas as its an expensive time of year - who isn't? He has money due to having a trust fund established by his late fathers estate and is given money from family members. My own relationship with money is that I am too generous always paying for things that others should be contributing to and lending people money, all of which irritates my ds and perhaps this is why he is stingy?