dilemma help please

Mrs_Bones

You don't want to go. It is not going to be a girly night out like you though. Your sister is being unfair in expecting to go as a couple herself and inviting another couple but expecting you to go on your own without your DH and maybe even kip on someone else's sofa while they get a bed. You also obviously can't stand this other couple who have been invited. Your sisters made all these plans it seems to suit herself and it's nothing what so ever to do with your birthday.

Don't let them push you into a corner over this, it's your birthday if going is going to make you miserable then simply don't go and arrange something nice with your DH instead.

Pollycat

pukkamum wrote: »

Bit tipsy, I accept quite excited at the prospect of a girls weekend in London and seeing Leonard Cohen.

So I have now found out that my sister's DH going as are another couple (unfortunately two of the people I like least in the world).

Are you sure that your sister didn't explain who was going but you didn't take it in 'cos you were a bit tipsy?

If you're sure that you were told it was to be a girly weekend, I would not be happy at all to find other halfs going.

Also, does your sister know that you don't like these 2 people to the extent you say you don't?

If she does, I think she's stitched you up (for some unknown reason) and I would be telling her to sell the ticket as you're not going.

pukkamum

Pollycat wrote: »

Are you sure that your sister didn't explain who was going but you didn't take it in 'cos you were a bit tipsy?

If you're sure that you were told it was to be a girly weekend, I would not be happy at all to find other halfs going.

Also, does your sister know that you don't like these 2 people to the extent you say you don't?

If she does, I think she's stitched you up (for some unknown reason) and I would be telling her to sell the ticket as you're not going.

No I definitely didn't know it was a text she sent and I still have it, i'm never told her exactly how I feel about these people as I can usually avoid them and if forced into being with them I just keep a polite distance.
Just spoke to my mum and told her and she was adament that I shouldn't go, she feels the same about these people and was outraged that DH had been left out.

Pollycat

OK then, tell your sister you're not going and stand firm.

If she doesn't know you dislike the other couple so much, she's not as bad as I thought.

Saint_Chris

if it was a girlie weekend then i would consider going.

but as it seems it's 2 married couples and you, i would then say no, i would just ring my sister, tell her how it's lovely but i will be spending my birthday with my husband.

fluffnutter

pukkamum wrote: »

never told her exactly how I feel about these people as I can usually avoid them and if forced into being with them I just keep a polite distance.

Perhaps you might want to mention your dislike? Saves her planning more stuff in the future

redwasp

Do u want to go? If not, its probably not much of a birthday present I guess? So why not explain gently to her that as you thought it was a girls weekend, you were happy to go, but now as its not, it seems sensible for you to backdown as you would feel a bit of a gooseberry? Also explain how ur DH feels as well; as you have to think about his feelings too? Not an easy one to deal with by any means, so good luck :-)

pukkamum

Well I sent my email it was this

Hi ******
Just to let you know after consideration I won't be coming, I was under the impression that it was a girls weekend not a couples weekend that my husband had been left out of, which I must tell you has upset us both, not sure what the thinking behind that was.
I hope you can pass on the ticket, if not let me know and I will give you the money for it and sell it on myself.
Love **** x


And got this in return

What the f*** are you talking about **** - just for one I wish you would pick up the phone and speak to me rather than sending these sort of emails. I bought you a ticket because I know you would love to see him, my husband had bought me a ticket because he knows I would love to see him. There wasn't a chance in hell that both you and your husband would be able to take a weekend to london so forgive me for thinking about giving you a really nice treat.
I think its time you had a think about how you percieve people's actions and maybe actually ask some questions before jumping to massive conclusions.
I do so much to maintain a relationship with you and kids and to be honest you do f*** all (2 visits to my house in over a year???) so you can shove your indignation up your a**e I won't be making any sort of effort with you again

I think i'm in the dog house!
Am composing my reply, any advice?

Ames

OMG. We have the same sister.

Don't go! Although I'd probably end up giving in to the bullying, having a rubbish time and taking a few weeks to calm down and stop being angry.

If you want to see him you can always look on ebay or Scarlet Mist for tickets, although on ebay they'll cost a fortune.

I'd get the ticket back, sell it on at a profit, and do something nice with your DH instead.

pukkamum

Ames, I do normally give in to the bullying and spend the next nine months seething, but this time I am making a stand, I am composing my reply at the moment, I am trying not to stoop to her level in it but oh the temptation to let rip is almost overwhelming.