dilemma help please

fluffnutter

pukkamum wrote: »

she has a track record for this kind of thing.

pukkamum wrote: »

is now getting me to pay for it (wouldn't be the first time!).

Based on this alone, I'd not go personally. All sounds a bit manipulative Who'd want to be bought a gift if it comes with this much grief and subterfuge?

pukkamum

Fluffnutter, DH was left out of my sisters DH's stag do when they got married not long ago despite DH and bro-in-law knowing each other, we suspect this was her doing due to her reaction when asked about it.

She is also under the impression that we spend too much time together not sure why I sometimes thinks it's jealousy that we enjoy being together she often likes to say we are joined at the hip (not in a good way!).

zzzLazyDaisy

fluffnutter wrote: »

Based on this alone, I'd not go personally. All sounds a bit manipulative Who'd want to be bought a gift if it comes with this much grief and subterfuge?

This ^^^^

Sorry, but I wouldn't go either.

If you back out, what has she lost? She had already acquired the ticket (one way or another) before asking you, so either way she would have been stuck with it if you had refused.

Tell the truth - you thought she was inviting you to go on a girly weekend with her, but now you realise that it isn't the case, you'd rather spend the evening doing something nice with yr OH.

Deanied

Am I the only one who thinks you're being a bit spoilt? You sister got you tickets to see one of your favourite artists and paid half as a birthday present. She even arranged accomdation for you so that you don't have to travel all the way home after the concert and you're not going to go because your other half isn't coming! Seriously- you can't survive one night without him? Maybe your sister has a point about you being joined at the hip- and not in a good way.

Do what you want, but I'd at least have the good manners to thank your sister for getting you a ticket to a very popular now sold out concert. However you think she acquired the ticket, she though of you and offered it to you first.

maman

pukkamum wrote: »

Thank you all
Fluffnutter - it was planned like this from the start I just didn't know and believe me she would have no qualms about asking DH to pay for his own and she could have text to ask before buying the ticket, and I have no doubt that she bought it before asking as she suspected I would have said no with DH not being asked and the expense, she has a track record for this kind of thing.

I have looked into buying DH a ticket as this would have been the best solution but it is sold out.

Personally I think buying someone half a ticket as a birthday present is a bit cheapskate myself but that's another story.

I agree with the people who've said don't go as now you know all the arrangements it's not as you anticipated. There'll be other concerts and you and your OH can go together.

I think it boils down to how far are you prepared to go to keep the peace with your sister? She should easily sell the ticket to someone else if the concert's a sell out but if there's a falling out how much will it upset you? Do you care?

fluffnutter

Deanied wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks you're being a bit spoilt? You sister got you tickets to see one of your favourite artists and paid half as a birthday present. She even arranged accomdation for you so that you don't have to travel all the way home after the concert and you're not going to go because your other half isn't coming! Seriously- you can't survive one night without him? Maybe your sister has a point about you being joined at the hip- and not in a good way.

Do what you want, but I'd at least have the good manners to thank your sister for getting you a ticket to a very popular now sold out concert. However you think she acquired the ticket, she though of you and offered it to you first.

If my brother bought me half a gift (expecting me to pay for the other half without checking first) and deliberately excluded my husband despite inviting his own wife and another couple, a couple that I don't actually like, and arranged accommodation that consists of my kipping on someone's sofa, I'd be pretty irritated personally. Why is any of that a nice way for me to spend my own birthday?

pukkamum

I can totally see your point Deanied and no doubt this is how she will see it, but I still have an issue with her not inviting DH despite it being couples and the fact that she knows we have not had a night out together for ages and ages.
Not to mention the fact that being with these people will spoil it for me I know they will because everytime they speak it's like someone drilling into my brain and causes me untold rage!
Bit dramatic I know but true!

pukkamum

maman wrote: »

Personally I think buying someone half a ticket as a birthday present is a bit cheapskate myself but that's another story.

I agree with the people who've said don't go as now you know all the arrangements it's not as you anticipated. There'll be other concerts and you and your OH can go together.

I think it boils down to how far are you prepared to go to keep the peace with your sister? She should easily sell the ticket to someone else if the concert's a sell out but if there's a falling out how much will it upset you? Do you care?

Oh there will be a fall out, she wil tell all the family how ungrateful I am. how this is 'typical' of me (this is something she does quite often backs me into a corner then chunnering when I change my mind) she seems to think that I should want time away from my family especially DH despite him working very long unsocialble shifts that mean some weeks we barely see each other.

Not to mention the cost, we are on a very very tight budget having only one wage coming in and any extras have to be seriously considered.

Sambucus_Nigra

pukkamum wrote: »

Okay sister text on new years eve saying she had bought a ticket for me to see one of my fave artists (without consulting me I must add) that she would pay half the ticket price for my birthday and I would pay for the other half (£45). we would stay with a good friend of ours for the night etc).

Bit tipsy, I accept quite excited at the prospect of a girls weekend in London and seeing Leonard Cohen.

When I tell DH he looks a bit dejected and says how much he wishes he was going as he loves him too, but he understands girls weekend etc.

So I have now found out that my sister's DH going as are another couple (unfortunately two of the people I like least in the world).

Old friend not going but staying at home looking after sister's kids.

So I have two issues
1) If it was clearly a couples weekend why was my DH not invited? DH quite upset about this cannot understand why he was left out.

2) Sleeping arrangements, my friend has a 3 bed house but with 3 couples sleeping there and 2 kids no doubt I will be on the sofa.

3) Feel she has kind of forced my hand by buying the ticket without asking.

Now as much as I would love to see the concert quite frankly the thought of spending a whole weekend with these people that I intensely dislike and a whole shedfull of money in the process fills me with horror.

What would YOU do?

That's 3 issues.

pukkamum

fluffnutter wrote: »

If my brother bought me half a gift (expecting me to pay for the other half without checking first) and deliberately excluded my husband despite inviting his own wife and another couple, a couple that I don't actually like, and arranged accommodation that consists of my kipping on someone's sofa, I'd be pretty irritated personally. Why is any of that a nice way for me to spend my own birthday?

You have got it in a nutshell Fluff!:mad: