dilemma help please

pukkamum

Okay sister text on new years eve saying she had bought a ticket for me to see one of my fave artists (without consulting me I must add) that she would pay half the ticket price for my birthday and I would pay for the other half (£45). we would stay with a good friend of ours for the night etc).

Bit tipsy, I accept quite excited at the prospect of a girls weekend in London and seeing Leonard Cohen.

When I tell DH he looks a bit dejected and says how much he wishes he was going as he loves him too, but he understands girls weekend etc.

So I have now found out that my sister's DH going as are another couple (unfortunately two of the people I like least in the world).

Old friend not going but staying at home looking after sister's kids.

So I have two issues
1) If it was clearly a couples weekend why was my DH not invited? DH quite upset about this cannot understand why he was left out.

2) Sleeping arrangements, my friend has a 3 bed house but with 3 couples sleeping there and 2 kids no doubt I will be on the sofa.

3) Feel she has kind of forced my hand by buying the ticket without asking.

Now as much as I would love to see the concert quite frankly the thought of spending a whole weekend with these people that I intensely dislike and a whole shedfull of money in the process fills me with horror.

What would YOU do?

Murtle

Personally, I would explain to your sister that you were under the impression it was a girls night out, but as it isn't you don't feel like being the only individual in a group of couples and that you won't be going.

I wouldn't go further into it with her.

19lottie82

just make up a white lie to get out of it, problem solved.

*Robin*

pukkamum wrote: »

Now as much as I would love to see the concert quite frankly the thought of spending a whole weekend with these people that I intensely dislike and a whole shedfull of money in the process fills me with horror.

What would YOU do?

Think you've answered your own question.

CH27

Are they seated tickets?

I would try to get my OH a ticket & make alternative sleeping arrangements.

angelil

I agree with CH27...do that if you can manage it.

fluffnutter

pukkamum wrote: »

Okay sister text on new years eve saying she had bought a ticket for me to see one of my fave artists (without consulting me I must add) that she would pay half the ticket price for my birthday and I would pay for the other half (£45). we would stay with a good friend of ours for the night etc).

Bit tipsy, I accept quite excited at the prospect of a girls weekend in London and seeing Leonard Cohen.

When I tell DH he looks a bit dejected and says how much he wishes he was going as he loves him too, but he understands girls weekend etc.

So I have now found out that my sister's DH going as are another couple (unfortunately two of the people I like least in the world).

Old friend not going but staying at home looking after sister's kids.

So I have two issues
1) If it was clearly a couples weekend why was my DH not invited? DH quite upset about this cannot understand why he was left out.

I doubt there was any deliberate intention to leave your OH out. Social arrangements are often in a state of flux - perhaps when your sister texted it was just going to be a girls' do, but has since morphed into something a bit different. Plus if she's buying a ticket as a present (which are expensive) perhaps she didn't feel able to offer to contribute to both, but equally didn't feel able to say 'Oh, but you'll have to pay full price if you want your husband to come too'. Try not to see it as a personal slight. At worst, it's insensitive but I doubt it's anything more.

2) Sleeping arrangements, my friend has a 3 bed house but with 3 couples sleeping there and 2 kids no doubt I will be on the sofa.

Not necessarily, but as the single gal, yeah, probably!

3) Feel she has kind of forced my hand by buying the ticket without asking.

Yeah, she did a little, but without understanding more about the dynamic of your family relationship I can't assess how weird or unreasonable this is.

Now as much as I would love to see the concert quite frankly the thought of spending a whole weekend with these people that I intensely dislike and a whole shedfull of money in the process fills me with horror.

Me too!

What would YOU do?

I'd (sensitively) try to tell her all you've told us. That you'd feel a bit strange going without your husband, particularly as everyone else is going as a couple and that you don't particularly want to kip on someone's floor/sofa nor spend the weekend with a couple you dislike (although it wouldn't be the whole weekend would it?).

Thank her for her kind thought re. buying you (half!) the ticket but calmly point out that the event seems to have turned into something quite different to first suggested.

zzzLazyDaisy

The cynic in me thinks that she bought the ticket for herself, then couldn't go for some reason, so talked you into buying it off her - so she gets half her money back and doesn't have to shell out for a birthday present for you...

< I'll get my coat.... >

pukkamum

Thank you all
Fluffnutter - it was planned like this from the start I just didn't know and believe me she would have no qualms about asking DH to pay for his own and she could have text to ask before buying the ticket, and I have no doubt that she bought it before asking as she suspected I would have said no with DH not being asked and the expense, she has a track record for this kind of thing.

I have looked into buying DH a ticket as this would have been the best solution but it is sold out.

pukkamum

zzzLazyDaisy wrote: »

The cynic in me thinks that she bought the ticket for herself, then couldn't go for some reason, so talked you into buying it off her - so she gets half her money back and doesn't have to shell out for a birthday present for you...

< I'll get my coat.... >

I have to tell you daisy the cynic in me wonders if she may have been given a free ticket (we have friends in the music business that she has no qualms about ligging from) and is now getting me to pay for it (wouldn't be the first time!).

fluffnutter

You clearly suspect your OH has been deliberately left out. Why is this? (I'm not saying he hasn't of course, what do I know?!) It's just feels like there's a bit more to the story which might change some of our responses!