Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed

365days

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I am interested in why we now send our children to nursery as a matter of course.

Is there any research to show it makes them 'better adjusted' etc. or is it a means of child care so that more people can work easier?

When I was that age it was certainly not the 'norm' but more the exception.

http://media.education.gov.uk/assets/files/pdf/e/early%20years%20evidence%20pack.pdf

May be of interest.

Air_Cooled_75

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I am interested in why we now send our children to nursery as a matter of course.

Is there any research to show it makes them 'better adjusted' etc. or is it a means of child care so that more people can work easier?

When I was that age it was certainly not the 'norm' but more the exception.

Both parents working and maybe not having a family network to help them out? We live miles away fom my family and since they all work there isn't an option to ask them for any help.

poet123

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

Absolutely but in adult life bullying isn't about someone jabbing a pen in your arm every time your walk past, it's more subtle than that. Learning about work place bullying etc is what preparation for real life is about, you don't learn that by getting thumped as a child. Please explain how you think it does because I really can't see the connection.

I often think that parents who are rabid home educators are projecting their own school experiences onto their children, and that it is less about the child and often more about them as parents and their need for absolute control.

As parents it is our job to protect our children, but in doing so we tread a fine line between protection and isolation from the majority of their peers. Home ed has its place, but when I read posts such as yours I wonder how the children involved will function in the world they actually live in rather than the one you have constructed for them.

In my experience ( as a college lecturer) of those who have been home educated they mostly don't. They don't fit in with their peers, and often they make no attempt to do so, sometimes believing that they are superior. A view which I see replicated here.

Whist individuality can be a good thing it is often very isolating and a lonely place to be. I would rather my kids be au fait with the wrongs others do and learn to choose other paths and be exposed to those issues(at an appropriate age) than simply do what was expected of them by me.

365days

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

I'm 40 and remember going to play school, we lived on a council estate. What's the difference? Genuine question, not being facetious.

The chances are your playschool was run by mums. (My mum worked in one) They didn't have any qualifications just a love for the job. They chose what they did day to day, there was no curriculum to follow, and as far as I know no regulation or inspection.

The early years now (Nursery)have qualified workers, a framework and is answerable to Ofsted.

POPPYOSCAR

365days wrote: »

http://media.education.gov.uk/assets/files/pdf/e/early%20years%20evidence%20pack.pdf

May be of interest.

Thank you.

I will have a good read of this.

Dunroamin

365days wrote: »

The chances are your playschool was run by mums. (My mum worked in one) They didn't have any qualifications just a love for the job. They chose what they did day to day, there was no curriculum to follow, and as far as I know no regulation or inspection.

The early years now (Nursery)have qualified workers, a framework and is answerable to Ofsted.

I'm over 60 and I went to a nursery school run by a retired headmistress.

When I left school in 1969 I spent a year working in a nursery school where the nursery teacher had taught some of the children's parents.

Nursery schools aren't new.

POPPYOSCAR

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

Both parents working and maybe not having a family network to help them out? We live miles away fom my family and since they all work there isn't an option to ask them for any help.

Sorry, I did not mean as individuals but rather the expectation and encouragement by the authorities to do so.

embob74

I am quite mainstream when it comes to my children but after opting for a home birth I started associating with other women who did the same and a lot of those women home school and my eyes have been opened to a whole new world.
My children will attend nursery and school but I would never judge anyone who chooses not to follow the same route. In fact I am slightly in awe of anybody who would want that workload.
On deciding on a homebirth I researched a LOT and I believe home schoolers research too as they still have to follow the curriculum. It doesn't have to mean isolation either - a lot of home schoolers meet up.
In Sweden children don't attend formal schooling until about the age of 7 and their education is highly commended.
Just because it's not what you know or understand it doesn't make it wrong.

coolcait

In Sweden, a lot of children attend 'dagis' (kindergarten/nursery) from a fairly early age.

The equivalent of primary school does indeed start later - about 6 or 7.

poet123

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Sorry, I did not mean as individuals but rather the expectation and encouragement by the authorities to do so.

I do think that the two issues are inextricably linked.

I didn't go to nursery, but that was because my mother was a sahm and I was surrounded by a large extended family. No two days were the same, I certainly didn't lack stimulation or interaction with either my peers or adults, or miss out on age appropriate activities.

My own children went to "playschool" rather than nursery. They all went for a maximum of three mornings a week. When the eldest started it was staffed by mums and was replicating my childhood in many ways; baking, water play, naps, fun learning by osmosis. Certainly not the structured environment my youngest encountered. I didnt want academia for my kids from the age of 3, I wanted them to have peer interaction with supervised play. No targets, no rigidity.

I can understand why some parents wouldn't want the Ofsted inspected, target driven nurseries that we have today and they certainly shouldn't be seen as odd for feeling that way.

However, if by doing that ( and other seemingly innocuous things) they hit the triggers for SS contact then I think it is a small price to pay to protect other children for whom such withdrawal from what is now the accepted the norm may be a front for abuse/neglect. It is about being clear why you are doing xyz and being open with the authorities and allaying any fears. I agree it shouldn't be necessary but sadly, case histories show that it is.