Social services onto me about not having child in nursery! Advice needed

Air_Cooled_75

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

Indeed it would. Just to show my view isn't an extreme view I thought I'd post the view of the author Terry Deary (Horrible Histories) who does have quite an extreme but amusing view.

"I've no interest in schools. They have no relevance in the 21st century. They were a Victorian idea to get kids off the street. Who decided that putting 30 kids with only their age in common in a classroom with one teacher was the best way of educating? At my school there were 52 kids in the class and all I learned was how to pass the 11-plus. Testing is the death of education. Kids should leave school at 11 and go to work. Not down the mines or up chimneys, mind, but working with computers or something relevant. Everything I learned after 11 was a waste of time. Trigonometry, Boyle's law: it's never been of any use to me. They should have been teaching me the life skills I was going to need, such as building relationships, parenting and managing money. I didn't have a clue about any of these things at 18. Schools need to change."

and this quote of his is quite funny too.

"I'd rather cut off my left arm and eat it with Marmite than go into a school - and I don't even like Marmite - but I'd consider going into schools to rescue my books. "I detest schools with a passion. My main beef with schools is that they are an utter waste of young life because they don't educate. Education is preparing someone for life and schools fail to do that. "If I could bulldoze them I would, and I do have a petition running on my website to close all schools and set children free"

Sorry OP doesn't really help you except to show not everyone thinks you're weird for keeping your children at home.

Isn't it a parents job to educate children about life though? Schools are there to teach, parents surely are the ones to prepare for adult life. Schools have computers and all sorts of technology, how old is that quote? There will always be stuff taught in schools that not all kids are going to like but others will use. OH has a phd in nuclear physics, so clearly some 'rubbish' stuff from school was useful.

shirlgirl2004

Gillyx wrote: »

There is no way to shelter your child from the horrors of real life. You can only prepare them for it. Preparation is about facing things, whether you like them or not. Bullying occurs in many places outwith school in adult life, you can't avoid it, but you can learn how to properly deal with any situations that occur.

Absolutely but in adult life bullying isn't about someone jabbing a pen in your arm every time your walk past, it's more subtle than that. Learning about work place bullying etc is what preparation for real life is about, you don't learn that by getting thumped as a child. Please explain how you think it does because I really can't see the connection.

shirlgirl2004

Air_Cooled_75 wrote: »

Isn't it a parents job to educate children about life though? Schools are there to teach, parents surely are the ones to prepare for adult life. Schools have computers and all sorts of technology, how old is that quote? There will always be stuff taught in schools that not all kids are going to like but others will use. OH has a phd in nuclear physics, so clearly some 'rubbish' stuff from school was useful.

The quote is from 2010 so still very relevant.

365days

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

Indeed it would. Just to show my view isn't an extreme view I thought I'd post the view of the author Terry Deary (Horrible Histories) who does have quite an extreme but amusing view.

"I've no interest in schools. They have no relevance in the 21st century. They were a Victorian idea to get kids off the street. Who decided that putting 30 kids with only their age in common in a classroom with one teacher was the best way of educating? At my school there were 52 kids in the class and all I learned was how to pass the 11-plus. Testing is the death of education. Kids should leave school at 11 and go to work. Not down the mines or up chimneys, mind, but working with computers or something relevant. Everything I learned after 11 was a waste of time. Trigonometry, Boyle's law: it's never been of any use to me. They should have been teaching me the life skills I was going to need, such as building relationships, parenting and managing money. I didn't have a clue about any of these things at 18. Schools need to change."

and this quote of his is quite funny too.

"I'd rather cut off my left arm and eat it with Marmite than go into a school - and I don't even like Marmite - but I'd consider going into schools to rescue my books. "I detest schools with a passion. My main beef with schools is that they are an utter waste of young life because they don't educate. Education is preparing someone for life and schools fail to do that. "If I could bulldoze them I would, and I do have a petition running on my website to close all schools and set children free"

Sorry OP doesn't really help you except to show not everyone thinks you're weird for keeping your children at home.

I actually agree with some of this. By 11 you can generally see which children are going to have a future in academic studying and which aren't. The less academic (and I mean less academic not intelligent) should have a wide range of vocational, practical experiences available to them. This is happening more and more but not enough in my view.

At school the other day we had an interesting discussion on 'Why do we come to school?' Aside from the academic based answers children said they came to school to make friends, get others point of view, learn how to get along with each other and meet people different from themselves.

I think schools, well at least the school I work in, are very aware of the failings of a One size fits all education. However a vital part of school is gaining others points of view. As a parent it may not lie well to have your child have totally different beliefs to you. But they are individuals and they need to have the opportunity to discover their minds with out parental intervention at every step (in my view at least)

Gillyx

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

Absolutely but in adult life bullying isn't about someone jabbing a pen in your arm every time your walk past, it's more subtle than that. Learning about work place bullying etc is what preparation for real life is about, you don't learn that by getting thumped as a child. Please explain how you think it does because I really can't see the connection.

Eh? I didn't mention pen jabbing or thumping. Bullying takes many forms, not just physical. I'd hope in an adult work environment no one was thumping each other, but you never know. I have had to work in places where there is a lot of sniping, jibes and it's not something you can go running off to management about at every farts end, sometimes you have to deal with it. I think going to school prepared me for that, but that is just my opinion. Had I not witnessed it in school I think work could quite quickly have become somewhere where I felt uncomfortable and uneasy and unprepared to deal with the situation.

Being told/taught about peoples behaviours and witnessing them for yourself are very different imo.

Edit: I didn't have an easy time at school, far from it, but I loved school and looking back it shaped me completely as a person, I went to school timid, accepting, a door mat if you like, and I am the complete opposite now, and I'd like to think whether or not I liked it at the time, the things I experienced have done me good.

Air_Cooled_75

I think he's taking the mick a bit, kids of 11 going to work, 52 kids in a class...

Mojisola

shirlgirl2004 wrote: »

Sorry OP doesn't really help you except to show not everyone thinks you're weird for keeping your children at home.

I don't think that anyone has said she's weird for not sending the child to nursery. Some people think that the child will have a harder time getting used to school without some nursery experience but that rather depends on what experiences the child is getting at home.

A child can be much better socialised by interacting with people of different ages than being stuck in a nursery with their own peer group.

The main issue is accepting that doing something outside the norm may trigger worries in the professionals.

alwaysbrassic

Snoopinggoose wrote: »

Hi,

I've had a note put through my door from social services about information they were given from a health visitor about my child! She's 3 years old (will be 4 in March) and she's not in nursery as I chose not to send her to nursery, I also have a 7 week old baby.

Anyway a social worker has been out today and said that because myself and my partner told the health visitor we no longer needed her to come out the health visitor raised concerns with childrens services!! It's because myself and my partner told the health visitor there are other families who need there help much more than we do and we no longer required or needed them to come out to visit us as we already have a big support network! I've got 4 sisters, my brother has got 2 brothers, 7 aunties on his dads side, 3 uncles and 2 aunties on his mother side etc!

I'm quite rightly fuming about this and am in the process of complaining to the health visitors manager about the conduct of her health visitor just because said health visitor wasn't happy we didn't need her (or want her) anymore!

What do you suggest I say to social services as I know for sure nursery is not compulsory nor is any schooling until my child is aged 5 years old.

Thank you.

You may find all this a support to you as a parent, but where is the support to your child?
Children learn social skills from intergrating with other children. This is where they learn behaviour. Maybe your HV is concerned about the lack of simulation for your child?

POPPYOSCAR

I am interested in why we now send our children to nursery as a matter of course.

Is there any research to show it makes them 'better adjusted' etc. or is it a means of child care so that more people can work easier?

When I was that age it was certainly not the 'norm' but more the exception.

Air_Cooled_75

I'm 40 and remember going to play school, we lived on a council estate. What's the difference? Genuine question, not being facetious.