mum not letting me move back in..

make_me_wise

HoneyAndLemon wrote: »

Maybe my financial position isn't as dire as I make it out. It is certainly manageable, but I would just like to be in no debt lol. As I said I didnt think us moving back would be an issue because she had said it would be fine. Now we will just have to very strictly stick to our budget.

Are you for real.

In your first post, where you are painting a picture of your mum as being really awful, you advised us that you are really struggling financially and in debt. Further into the thread you say things aren't as dire as you make it out to be and that things are manageable.

So is your mum not as dire as you describe her? Are you just in a foul mood because she is not bowing down to your wish to move home, so you can hugely reduce your outgoings so as to clear a manageable debt quicker.

When people twist things on a thread I find it really hard to take them seriously. Wouldn't it all be nice if we could move back in with our parents and clear our debts in a shorter time. I might ask my dad tomorrow if I can move in with him so as to knock 5 years off my mortgage by overpaying :rotfl:

Would he be out of order to say no. Absolutley not, he would be completely in the right just as your mum is.

HoneyAndLemon

make_me_wise wrote: »

Are you for real.

In your first post, where you are painting a picture of your mum as being really awful, you advised us that you are really struggling financially and in debt. Further into the thread you say things aren't as dire as you make it out to be and that things are manageable.

So is your mum not as dire as you describe her? Are you just in a foul mood because she is not bowing down to your wish to move home, so you can hugely reduce your outgoings so as to clear a manageable debt quicker.

When people twist things on a thread I find it really hard to take them seriously. Wouldn't it all be nice if we could move back in with our parents and clear our debts in a shorter time. I might ask my dad tomorrow if I can move in with him so as to knock 5 years off my mortgage by overpaying :rotfl:

Would he be out of order to say no. Absolutley not, he would be completely in the right just as your mum is.

Our outgoings currently equal our income, bar about £150-200 which we want to over pay with. All it takes is one more emergency and we're screwed. We wont be able to borrow any more and we've very little savings. We're right on the brink. So yeah I'm worried. And I know unexpected things happen, with a car accident and unplanned pregnancy last year Im worried what will happen and if we would cope. Shame on me for trying to think ahead and get out of the mess before its too late.

Mojisola

With a mother who has behaved and is still behaving as you say, I don't think it would be a good idea to move back in with her.

make_me_wise

HoneyAndLemon wrote: »

Shame on me for trying to think ahead and get out of the mess before its too late.

You aren't doing this though. You are just expecting your mum to take you in and help you out and are clearly extremely resentful that she isn't automatically saying yes.

Maybe yourself and your partner need to look at moving to a cheaper rental property, selling one of your cars, finding a better paid or second job. Why at 23 is your mum taking you in your idea of the best solution to your problems? Doesn't show much gumption or self reliance in my opinion.

esmy

HoneyAndLemon wrote: »

Our outgoings currently equal our income, bar about £150-200 which we want to over pay with.

Can I suggest, as others have, that you go onto the Debtfreewannabe board and take a good look at your income vs outgoings. If you have a surplus of 150-200 you're doing pretty well. How about saving £50 of that for an emergency fund?

victory

Mojisola wrote: »

With a mother who has behaved and is still behaving as you say, I don't think it would be a good idea to move back in with her.

I agree , I have been saying that all along. Why would you want to be within 100 yards of a mum that you have so little good to say about?

ruby-roo_2

HoneyAndLemon wrote: »

Our outgoings currently equal our income, bar about £150-200 which we want to over pay with.

Few people have £150-200 left over from their budget. Accept that you cant pay off your loan quickly. Put this amount into an emergency fund, it would quickly build up. If a problem occurs sort it out from this fund.

It might be tough going for a while but your journey to being debt free will teach you all kinds of useful money management skills. Unfortunately all this is part of adult life.

System

victory wrote: »

I agree , I have been saying that all along. Why would you want to be within 100 yards of a mum that you have so little good to say about?

because she has dug herself a hole and wants her Mother to get her out of it.

Would i have my grown up children back to live with me?

Yes if they were in trouble
Yes if they needed nursing back to health
Yes if they needed a roof over their head
Yes if they needed protecting

If they wanted to pay a loan off quicker..... Not sodding likely.

Call me a selfish Mom if you want i dont care. If they are old enough to get themselves into debt, they are old enough to get themselves out of it.

marisco_2

Judi wrote: »

Call me a selfish Mom if you want i dont care. If they are old enough to get themselves into debt, they are old enough to get themselves out of it.

I completely agree with you. Being a good mum sometimes means showing some tough love. This couple got themselves into debt. Do they have anything to show for it? Things they can sell in order to pay it off. How can they adjust their spending further to release extra funds? All these things are areas I would be looking at.

The mum seems to have been enabled to not be financially responsible for herself with members of the family lending money. If this couple are taken in they wont learn the very important lesson that parents aren't their to ease your monthly expenses in order for you to clear loans. You work it out yourself and cut your cloth accordingly.

Dunroamin

Bennifred wrote: »

Maybe one of your colleagues has a suitable room for you?

But then they'd expect to be paid more than £300pcm for two people.;)