Should I be more cross with her?

Itsgottabedone

It's one of those occasions where your daughter needs to see that you definitely support her in the face of injustice. Ask for an appointment with the headteacher, take your daughter along and get her to relate what happened. Don't get rattled - just showing your daughter that you're in her corner is the most important thing. And probably a good idea to warn her that the meeting might not be 100% successful in terms of outcome but that it's important that you make the situation known to the head.

meritaten

Your DD sounds lovely to me - pamper her tonight, cos she has the courage to speak up! If my DD had done that I would rejoice I had a DD who wasnt intimidated, would speak up and be counted!
This teacher was totally out of order - have a word with HOY - this sort of sneering at people because of where they live could be seen as 'bullying'!

stormbreaker

I have not read through all this thread but I would take on board what your daughter has said and that she does NOT want you going to the school and that she has dealt with it.

Make a note of the class, teacher time and date and if there is any reference on her C1? (for future if need be)

At the age of 13 she is considered a young adult. I would, listen, trust and discuss and take on board what she says. There may be other times that she wants you to deal with matters that she does not feel confident or mature enough to deal with.

To go to the school when she considers the matter 'sorted' may stop her from being as open with you!

If you feel the same come parents evening then broach the matter then.

I might add that my son did suffer the bullying of a teacher at primary school after I had visited, but absolutly nothing that I could prove! I had sent a note in to discuss something with her but didn't want him knowing. She asked him in the presence of all the class 'what it was I wanted!' She then sent a letter refusing to see me! I contacted the Education board and took their guidance. I contaced the Deputy Head teacher and she supported the teacher. I let her dig an enormous hole for herself before, letting her know what the Education board had said!

What you have to remember is that teachers are human and all will react in differant ways

sexylulubelle

OP I dont think you should be cross with your daughter, in fact I applaud her sharp response, in my opinion the teacher was well out of order for his comments and needed to be put in his place even if it was by a 13 year old girl!

thegirlintheattic

I think you need to be 100% sure of what was actually said and the context. In some classes 'neighborhoods' will be discussed (for example you might talk about differences in housing quality in geography or supply/demand in business), or stereotypes maybe discussed (but then are usually challenged).

If it is all as your DD says then he was unprofessional so speak to the head.

poet123

I was discussing this with my son who is a young teacher and he was appalled. He thought it was awful that a teacher would denigrate an area where his pupils live. Further, he reckons that having done it, he should have been able to take it when it came back to him. He thought dishing out a punishment was akin to saying you couldn't manage the class.

Purleygirl

I think you shouldn't sweat the small stuff, they were both rude. It's one of life's lessons I'm afraid, but I think maybe your daughter should write a note to the teacher in question, going to the head will make it spiral out of control. Why not a note to the teacher "Dear Mr Blogs, I am sorry that I was cheeky the other day in class. I just felt hurt that you seemed to be making derogatory remarks about the estate in which I live. It really isn't so bad". I'm glad she stood up for her home.

ValHaller

balletshoes wrote: »

Your DD was rude to the teacher though, so if she's got a punishment for it, she should do it.

I so thoroughly disagree with this.

Once the teacher makes a derogatory remark in the way he did, he is stepping off his pedestal and he is on a level field with the pupils. Everyone has some sense of this even if they don't quite see the same picture.

So it is fair game for the pupil to respond in kind. There is nothing out of order about it - and in a sense, the teacher is not totally out of order for his remarks provided when he does it he accepts he has stepped off the pedestal. In particular OP's daughter's response to a great extent is actually accepting the teacher stepping off the pedestal and agreeing that the rules are the rules of the level playing field - her remarks actually let the teacher off the hook for his own remarks. The pair of them have mutually excused each other with their comments,

It would all have been done dusted and closed if the teacher had left it at that. But the punishment is the teacher stepping back on the pedestal because he did not like the level playing field.

I think the choice the teacher has to be presented with is either to withdraw the punishment or to take a professional misconduct complaint.

coolcait

ValHaller wrote: »

I so thoroughly disagree with this.

Once the teacher makes a derogatory remark in the way he did, he is stepping off his pedestal and he is on a level field with the pupils. Everyone has some sense of this even if they don't quite see the same picture.

So it is fair game for the pupil to respond in kind. There is nothing out of order about it - and in a sense, the teacher is not totally out of order for his remarks provided when he does it he accepts he has stepped off the pedestal. In particular OP's daughter's response to a great extent is actually accepting the teacher stepping off the pedestal and agreeing that the rules are the rules of the level playing field - her remarks actually let the teacher off the hook for his own remarks. The pair of them have mutually excused each other with their comments,

It would all have been done dusted and closed if the teacher had left it at that. But the punishment is the teacher stepping back on the pedestal because he did not like the level playing field.

I think the choice the teacher has to be presented with is either to withdraw the punishment or to take a professional misconduct complaint.

That's an interesting take on the issue.

On an intellectual level, I completely agree with you.

On a practical level, it could be a tough one to explain - especially to an audience which doesn't want to hear it.

Although your final paragraph sets out a very clear ultimatum!

jenhug

thatgirlsam wrote: »

My dd, she is 13, has come home today with a C1 (punishment at school) for being rude to a teacher, she was worried to tell me but did so straight away.

In class today the teacher was making derogatory comments about the estate we live on, saying how rough it is and just awful etc. He asked the class who here lives on *our estate*.

She put her hand up, he then rolled his eyes and said 'oh there's always one'

She said 'It really isn't that bad Sir'. He said, 'well where do you know that's worse than *our estate*.

She said 'Your road', he asks why, she says 'Because you live on it'

He gives her a C1 for being rude. Usually, with my kids, if they are in trouble at school, then they're in trouble at home, but I don't really feel cross with her. I just told a couple of people, one says I should go mad at the teacher, one says I should go mad at my dd

I do realise this is a bit of a non-event but we are stuck in on a snowy day and wondered your opinions!

So he was teaching a class full of children how to be prejudiced? How to make a sweeping statement and tar everyone with the same brush.

What a lovely example he is setting the next generation!

Well done your daughter on her quick wit. There is no way I would let my daughter get punished for that.