Should I be more cross with her?

Jinx

I had a horrible Chemistry teacher who liked to make the girls cry and slagged off where I lived. I told my mum and I got removed from his class which he was not happy about:D

I have no idea why he was soooooo horrible. And he seemed genuinely surprised when he asked me to do Higher Chemistry and I wouldnt cos he was the teacher!

My own experiences have taught me (aptly enough lol) that we have to stick up for our children - even at school where you wouldnt really expect issues. I wouldnt have my daughter receive a punishment if the scenario is accurate.

marisco_2

Did he not like a taste of his own medicine. What a pr!ck. Is he a NQT with little to no real experience?

I think the teacher was behaving in an extremely unproffessional manner. The school where I teach is bang in the middle of two extreme areas. On one side of the road the houses are huge and affluent, well off families live there. The other side of the road is a council estate with all manner of problems. In every class there are kids who come from both areas.

I and I am sure none of my colleagues would never speak badly of the poorer area. This is the childrens home, often where several members of their families live, their community and a place where they feel safe.

For your daughters teacher to run down her home, then take it further by asking who in the class lives there and to say there is always one is horrendous. How did that make your daughter feel? If he had done that to me I would feel humiliated and very upset. It was not wise of her to respond the way she did but I can understand that she had been riled and was angry.

If I were you I would go in to the school on Monday and ask for a meeting with the Head teacher and this rude unproffessional class teacher. During the meeting I would remain extremely calm and explain in a quiet voice, so they have to listen carefully, exactly what happened that lead to your daughter saying what she did to the teacher. If the head has any common sense, your daughters puinishment will be dropped and the teacher will be given a warning, with some strong advice on what is and isn't an acceptable discussion with a class.

balletshoes

thatgirlsam wrote: »

My dd, she is 13, has come home today with a C1 (punishment at school) for being rude to a teacher, she was worried to tell me but did so straight away.

In class today the teacher was making derogatory comments about the estate we live on, saying how rough it is and just awful etc. He asked the class who here lives on *our estate*.

She put her hand up, he then rolled his eyes and said 'oh there's always one'

She said 'It really isn't that bad Sir'. He said, 'well where do you know that's worse than *our estate*.

She said 'Your road', he asks why, she says 'Because you live on it'

He gives her a C1 for being rude. Usually, with my kids, if they are in trouble at school, then they're in trouble at home, but I don't really feel cross with her. I just told a couple of people, one says I should go mad at the teacher, one says I should go mad at my dd

I do realise this is a bit of a non-event but we are stuck in on a snowy day and wondered your opinions!

I do think your daughter was rude to the teacher, and he was dismissive of her first. 6 of one and half a dozen of the other. If that really was the way the conversation went in class I'd be contacting the teacher and asking their version of events, and why they were making derogatory comments about an area thats presumably in the catchment area of the school and is likely to have students in his class from there. Doesn't sound very professional or at all helpful to their study to me. Your DD was rude to the teacher though, so if she's got a punishment for it, she should do it.

balletshoes

thatgirlsam wrote: »

Do you think I will get the whole truth from him though? I'm not calling him a liar but if he said what she says he did, will he admit it to her mother? Who lives on this estate!!

I might ask one of the other children who was in class.

They do say there are 3 sides to every story, his side, her side, and the truth.

you don't need to lead him (ie give him your DD's version or anyone elses) - just ask him what the conversation was that lead to the C1 punishment for your daughter.

j.e.j.

I would wait till parents evening, then introduce yourself a bit sarcastically as x's mum, from the scum estate. See what his reaction is.

olibrofiz

I wouldn't be too hard on your DD. When my DD was at secondary IME if a student responds to a tutors put down, like your DD did, they whip out the detention/punishment card.

My DD used to complain that her tutors would shout at individuals in the class, tell them to 'shut up' and 'sort their life out' etc, etc - she taped one of her teachers once, screaming at another kid who asked to go to their locker as they'd forgotten their book - the words screamed were 'for CHRISTS sake get out of my sight and don't come back' (or something similar) - my chin hit the floor when she played it to me. It was the RE teacher an all!

I had to go to school to see the head of year about something and raised the matter of teachers shouting at students - she assured me that wasn't the case - when I played her the recording she couldn't speak for quite a few minutes.

It seems your DD now has kudos for standing up to the teacher so i wouldn't take that away from her. i would however ring the school, speak to them about it and request that the punishment be removed.

All the best. I hated the time DD was at secondary, the kids were powerless against things like that. I went and saw the head teacher because she came home, at 16, to say he'd told her she had to buy new trousers as ones with studs on the back pockets weren;t allowed. How he could see that from across a crowded canteen when the tiny studs were covered by her shirt & blazer, unless she bent over.....I did react to that, but that would be going off topic

Nicki

j.e.j. wrote: »

I would wait till parents evening, then introduce yourself a bit sarcastically as x's mum, from the scum estate. See what his reaction is.

You're assuming this exchange meant as much to the teacher as it did to the pupil . I suspect if he hasn't forgotten it happened already, he will have done by the end of next week, and there is little chance he'd have a clue what OP was on about if she makes a crack about this in the second half of the summer term.

j.e.j.

oh I don't know. Teachers aren't usually forgetful or absent-minded.

littlerat

Sadly even my (generally fairly good) school had the odd one. I had a couple of times over my school years where I was rude back - there's 2 kind of teachers who do this (I mean excluding a very bad day/misunderstandings/etc), ones who take it as "fair enough, I started it" and the ones that are quick to be nasty to kids, then anything said back results in detention. The latter type are the real bad ones, as they'll be quick to twist events too.


I will say this - of the times I knew people who reported what teachers had said/done (admittedly not many), I'd say 80% were telling the truth, in context - teenagers don't lie about this stuff half as much as what adults would like to think. Very few tell full, outright lies about such things. But adults, especially people like teachers, are always assumed to be the good side.



I'd have words somewhere, carefully, but while it shouldn't be an issue if he's a professional, I'd worry a little about making your daughter a target, especially if standing up for herself is out of character.

Misty_Blue

I am the last person on earth to stick up for a badly behaved child (I am one of the "tough love and discipline" brigade! ) and I don't think your daughter was really the one out of line here. It's even possible she thought the teacher was joking and so thought it would be appropriate for her to joke back.

When I was about 14, my class was waiting in line outside a classroom, waiting for the teacher to come and unlock the door so we could go in and start the lesson. No-one was misbehaving, we were just waiting and chattering as kids do. When he turned up, I remember to this day, the teacher said: "That's enough talking from you lot. You'll all have plenty of time to stand about talking when you're on the dole!" I went home and told this to my mother, who was horrified that such a negative and unecessary thing could be said by a teacher. She immediately made an appointment with the head, who was equally horrified, and had stern words with the teacher concerned. At no time was I singled out as a troublemaker, and the teacher was actually a lot more positive with the class as a whole after that.

I would be furious if I were you.