Am I being unreasonable?

BitterAndTwisted

He's total scum. Get rid while you can.

There are men out there who have respect and treat women decently. There are lots of them and most are probably solvent. Find one.

balletshoes

durham_girl wrote: »

I would stay with him long enough to get the £150 back then ditch him.

He sounds awful, a liar and a user. Plus you should be coming higher up the totem pole than his ex wife!

I don't see that happening to be honest - getting the money back I mean, without being "persuaded" to fork out more in the meantime.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Lose him. Even if it's cost you a mint, it's cheaper than waiting for him to do it throughout the next twelve months and then have him leave you for not giving him enough cash to buy his next girlfriend some lingerie or himself a Wii-U because its not fair he can't have pocket money.

Make sure he doesn't know any of your PINs either.

Gees

I definitely don’t think you are unreasonable. Your weakness is your good nature and your boyfriend knows it.

I would be angry too, for allowing myself to be treated so disrespectfully. Your son is equally as important to you as his daughter is to him. How would he have felt had you not re-paid him if the circumstances were reversed? I bet you would have been worrying about it just like you are worrying now on how to pay for your sons’ trip. He certainly isn't worrying and has used delaying tactics. Sadly you already have the facts, he re-paid others first, clearing knowing you needed that money, you were placed lower on the list, and so was your son. You are too nice and deserve someone much better. Try and find the money you need, keep your dignity intact and show this boyfriend the door.

Supernatural

I'd tell him the date you expect the cash to be in your hand (he can borrow it off his dad!) or ebay every possession you have of his, including the Wii + games. If he throws a wobbler and walks out then he'll have done you a huge favour in the grand scheme of things, what a twonk!

Errata

He's a thief and a liar. If you think that's all you deserve from a bloke, stay with him. If you think no bloke would be better than this bloke, dump him.
It's your choice.

ETA Have you realised you're not his GF, you're his cashpoint?

FBaby

You've been together for quite some time, so it's not as if he is with you and totally using you just for the money. I assume there is much more to the relationship than this.

However, I expected he has dig himself into a hole financially, and this is transforming him into a complete self-absorbed jerk. He is frustrated that he can't spend as he wants, he feels like crap that he can't treats everyone as he wish he could (probably an element of control there too), he probably is very much into appearances wanting people to think he is wonderful, which is why he continues to spoils his daughter and impresses his ex...the problem is to do that, he has to treat you like crap and deep inside he knows it very well. He knows he is letting you down but feels he has no other choice. Instead of trying to make it better and apologising, he thinks that since you already think he is crap, he might as well focus on those who still think he is wonderful. It becomes a vicious cercle. The worse he treats you, the worse you think of him, that gives him a reason to justify prioritising his children and ex over you and keeping them thinking highly of you.

I think the time for an ultimatum has come and for you to think of you and your children first. You can't support him any longer when he doesn't ask for help from you to help himself but to continue his life of deceit. Continuing to support him is only making things worse. He needs to face up to his situation and reassess his self-esteem and why he thinks he needs to throw money at his ex and children.

I assume you still love him if you haven't told him to get lost yet, so I hope he gets a light bulb moment, but don't fall for more promises.

amyloofoo

You've had some good, but very blunt, advice OP. I'm sorry you and your son are in this position, but your post clearly indicates that you know what's wrong and what needs to happen. It's impossible to have a healthy relationship without mutual respect and unfortunately your OH seems to be unable or unwilling to give this to you and your son :grouphug: Either his attitude needs to change or you need to leave - but only one of those options is in your control

System

Think about it.... he is putting everyone else before you.

Do you want to come last all the time?

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow

This man doesn't love you.

You need to break up with him now before you completely lose every last bit of self respect you ever had. He owed you money and you cooked a nice meal for him?:eek:

This may sound blunt accross the internet but I say this with kindness - get some counselling and try to work out why you allowed yourself to be treated like this. My guess is that you've been walked over and victimised in your other significant relationships too.