Am I being unreasonable?

fed_up_and_stressed

Im really glad you got the money back and have seen this idiots true colours I admit I wasn't hopeful that you would get your money back because obviously this leech has no idea how to prioritise and is happy for other people to pay for their lifestyle and that of others.

Dont get me wrong I have no problem with helping friends out who are in dire hardship due to no fault of their own but this person seems to have a "bury their head" in the sand approach to finances and seems to expect others to pick up the tab for their irresponsible childish approach to money and thank heck you have taken a stand ... Maybe .. Hopefully he will get the wake up call he needs .. But sadly more likely he will move on to the next person he can leech off on.

peachyprice

tintingirl wrote: »

I got a text a while later telling me he had done the transfer, but I was deleted from his phone and from his life, I am the worse girlfriend he has ever had, I am childish, selfish, self-absorbed, spiteful and nasty and he wants nothing more to do with me, it was the best £150 he has ever spent to get me out of his life because I am a money grabbing !!!!! and it is such a relief to him that he owes me nothing and therefore I no longer have any reason to contact him.

Result :T Saves you the bother of having to dump him.

sassyblue

tintingirl wrote: »

I got a text a while later telling me he had done the transfer, but I was deleted from his phone and from his life, I am the worse girlfriend he has ever had, I am childish, selfish, self-absorbed, spiteful and nasty and he wants nothing more to do with me, it was the best £150 he has ever spent to get me out of his life because I am a money grabbing !!!!! and it is such a relief to him that he owes me nothing and therefore I no longer have any reason to contact him.

haha, l read that as meaning that you are mature, good with money and won't be walked over.

He's having a tanty because you've found him out. Ignore! :rotfl:

LannieDuck

I'm glad he's 'ended' the relationship since you didn't seem to be able to do it. But I suspect he'll be back as soon as he needs more money.

OP, you've put yourself in the position of being responsible for his finances. He gets in trouble, you sort it out for him. His ex isn't the problem. He is.

Until you have a LBM (about the relationship, not about money!), he's going to carry on using you. Why wouldn't he? I'd love to have someone who sorts out my finances for me and bails me out whenever I need it.

He's a conman. He's very manipulative and experienced at lying. He's got you making alsorts of excuses for him. He'll say whatever he needs to in order to get what he wants - just look at all the different lies he's told you about this £150.

Amanda65

OP I am sure that in the immediate future you will feel sad at the loss of the good bits in your relationship but hope that in the long term you will realise how this will be so good for both you and you ex.

If nothing else, you have made him look at his life and his finances which ultimately will help him. Yes at the moment he thinks you've been a horrible girlfriend but he will eventually realise that all you've made him do is man up and accept that his actions have consequences.

With regard to his wife looking like she pays for everything then he should make sure that it is made clear to the children that he contributes (obviously not if they are little but certainly to the 6th former). The comment about his ex having a tantram on the floor - dear God, I feel so sorry for their children :eek:. They have an immature and manipulative mother and a father with no backbone! He blatantly tries to buy his children's love but the bottom line is YOU and YOUR CHILDREN were financing this!

It's never nice to hear about the end of a relationship but in this case OP I think you have had a lucky escape. You have worked very hard (well done on the £8k debt repayment so far) and your future will be happier when you are debt free and you are not being drained by a man not worthy of your support. Good luck

Sambucus_Nigra

He didn't spend £150, he owed a child £150. What a !!!!!!

Saturnalia

Well his true colours are certainly on show now you've cut off the funding and called in the loan!

Just to warn you, don't be too upset if there is a new girlfriend on the scene in a matter of days. He'll have been sizing up his next victim as soon as it became clear you weren't going to back down over this £150 and the days of easy money were coming to an end. As I said, LUsers work from a set script.

Now imagine enjoying your future, getting out of debt and being able to treat yourself and your son with your money, no more Christmases of spoiling his kids and funding his Gimme Pig ex with your cash!!!

Mrs_Optimist

Well at least you can now see the wood through the trees and see him for what we all saw him as - a L(user). And a !!!!!! to boot.

You really are well shot. Stay strong as he WILL come crawling back when he realises you aren't dancing to his tune. Put YOU and YOUR FAMILY first - after all that is what he has been doing, isn't it.

If you are have any second thoughts and doubts, or feel yourself getting sucked back in to his mess, simply post back on here and we will put you right!

Giraffeseeker

Thanks all for your support. The money arrived, so all is good there. Unbelievable that I had to go through 16 days of crap to get it out of him but it is done now.

Fairly sure this will almost have cleaned him out until pay day, which is a looooong 2 weeks and 2 days away. That means he has 16 days to reflect on how he has burnt all his bridges - I won't lend to him, the ex certainly won't, and his Dad is also sick of it as he has been increasingly in debt to him since the summer (Jan payment to Dad was the tip of the iceberg).

I do not have the financial family back-up, like he does, when things are desperate. I HAVE to make my money last now that I no longer have credit cards. Noone else will help me out. He doesn't get that as he has always had Mum and Dad when things are tight (he owes gem both money and neither know about the other debt despite being married!!). I hope they cut him off too, just so he learns a hard lesson.

Seanymph

Well, the next two weeks and two days are not your problem. They are his.

You get to treat yourself and your son to some very stress free time.

Well done you.