Afraid of driving. Help?

Dark_Star

OK, totally understand you.

I HATE driving. Passed in a manual car by a fluke (did a wrong turn & thought I'd failed - apparantly if the move is correct, they don't fail you for going the wrong way!) So I relaxed completely thinking - oh well - a practice test now I'm bound to have failed....was stunned when I passed.

Many years of car ownership BUT little driving experience later, I now drive an automatic. Best thing I ever did. Cuts out most of the hassle apart from suicidal pedestrians (but they're everywhere).

Perhaps if you did the residential week course/test in the uk it would give you the confidence you need. If you do that & have a UK licence - you should be able to drive in France/europe on it & /or get it converted to a european one? Or add international driving permit...?

Here's one £695... http://www.5day.co.uk/

Would that be easier? Despite parking problems, I would go for an automatic as the family car; either get a second one or change what you have....

Good luck - you'll get there

pollypenny

Encouraged by this thread I set myself a challenge yesterday.

I returned home from tai chi via a nasty dual carriageway, feeding on then off, in a place sheet other traffic comes on.

I did it! Proud of myself. Small steps, eh?

angelil

Dark_Star wrote: »

Perhaps if you did the residential week course/test in the uk it would give you the confidence you need. If you do that & have a UK licence - you should be able to drive in France/europe on it & /or get it converted to a european one? Or add international driving permit...?

Here's one £695... http://www.5day.co.uk/

Would that be easier? Despite parking problems, I would go for an automatic as the family car; either get a second one or change what you have....

Good luck - you'll get there

I have considered this many a time.
The problem I would have is that I would need to get my UK theory again (got it before, but that was in 2007 so expired now...). And tbh my French theory test was so long and difficult to get that I don't want to feel like I've "wasted" it IYSWIM.
Wouldn't need to convert it to a European licence though as you can drive here on a UK licence with no issues.
Husband is looking at getting an automatic as his next car - but not until he's finished paying for this one...which won't be for about another 3 years

securityguy

Autos. Autos. Autos. It's not just about not having to change gear, it's about being able to move off into traffic certain that you won't stall, accelerate on dual carriageways without needing to change down, etc, etc.

lister

As a UK ADI, hopefully I can add a little that may be helpful, although it is difficult without actually seeing the OP in a driving situation to be certain of what is happening.

To be honest the OPs problems sound like they are probably no different to those encountered in one way or another by most learners. Driving a car on busy roads is pretty much the most cognitively demanding thing most people will ever do in their lives - and that demand can be incessant, particularly in urban situations. Compare that with say an airline pilot, who faces huge cognitive workloads during takeoff and landing, but during flight has long periods of relative mental relaxation.

I personally would advise to stop thinking about established coordination problems, counselling, automatics etc. All that is doing is allowing you to believe subconciously that you can't do this - which is almost certainly not true.

I don't really see this as a coodination problem. In general, problems with coordinating controls, particularly during general driving, stem from two faults. Either anticaption is poor, or the learner is going into situations with too much speed. Normally with learners lacking in confidence, excess speed is related to poor anticipation anyway.

What happens is that the learner doesn't perceive potential problems early, therefore doesn't reduce speed and then is trying to fit a lot of operations and actions into a very short time frame. The leads to at the least a feeling of being out of control, or more seriously, an actual loss of adequate control.

I normally start with two techniques to improve observation and anticipation. The first is to make observation and road scanning a conscious part of driving. Link forward scanning to mirror checks. On busy urban roads mirror checks should be taking place every 4-5 seconds (perhaps down to 10-20 seconds on empty main roads with few turns etc.), so it is really good to get frequent forward observations in on this timescale.

So I get pupils to practice a routine:
1) Check interior mirror and appropriate door mirror.
2) Glance back across speedometer as you return to forward observation (anyone who says you cannot know your speed to within 1-2 mph at all times is not as good a driver as they might think)
3) Consciously move your eyes to the far distance, and traverse back to a close view
4) Rinse and repeat

Of course there is a big difference between looking and seeing, and generally learners start off not seeing what they need to, even though they are looking in the correct place. The instructor should help with this by asking appropriate questions about what may happen with vehicles, pedestrians etc. in the distance.

Once the basic skills are in place I tend to get pupils to have a go at commentary driving (not a full commentary necessarily, but asking them to mention particular types of thing as they identify them to start with). This can feel awkward at first, but it forces a driver to consciously consider things that are often processed subconsciously.

Very quickly a leaner normally starts to see potential hazards earlier, which gives more time to consider a course of action, to reduce speed slightly, to start any signals, gear changes etc. earlier. Once the pupil learns to give themselves the time on the road, everything else will fall into place.

The OP mentioned in one post that they find cars coming at them from all directions at speed and very close. As soon as anticipation improves, this feeling will subside, because they have been seen earlier, their courses and actions largely predicted, and a better safety bubble maintained around the vehicle.

Sorry it is longwinded, but hopefully it provides something useful to think on.

madhatter_1

Hi there

I have found this thread very useful, as although I have my driving license for years, I got out of habbit of driving as I went everywhere on the Tube system in London. I have since relocated and now drive to work which is mixture of A Roads and country roads.

I hate driving at night, I have glasses with anti-glare (tested twice), but just wonder if there are any tips for night driving.

I find on-coming head lights dazzling and get into a panic if I have to overtake a cyclist etc and hate the pitch black or limited lighting.

I guess I have built up this fear as I got out of habbit of driving, and driving in London is different to the countryside as you have the street lights everywhere, which is what I was used to.

I recently had to take a driving test where I work, which is same as the Driving License Test and I failed miserably, and think this also knocked my confidence, although I do think there has been improvement with things that were highlighted to me at the time, one being anticipation. I also hate driving with passengers in the car, again a confidence thing.

Thanks in advance for any advice/ideas.

OP sorry, if I have interupted your thread, but I find this really interesting. PS It took me 4 attempts at my test years ago before I eventually passed.

lister

madhatter_1 wrote: »

I hate driving at night, I have glasses with anti-glare (tested twice), but just wonder if there are any tips for night driving.

I find on-coming head lights dazzling and get into a panic if I have to overtake a cyclist etc and hate the pitch black or limited lighting.

Primarily you have to glance to the side of the road rather than keep looking straight ahead.

Also expect to have to drive slower - you have to be able to stop in the distance you can see to be safe which at night, especially on dipped lights, is not all that far. I would normally expect to be 5-10 mph slower at night compared to a daytime speed on the same road. This will help to make you feel more in control as well.

madhatter_1 wrote: »

I recently had to take a driving test where I work, which is same as the Driving License Test and I failed miserably, and think this also knocked my confidence, although I do think there has been improvement with things that were highlighted to me at the time, one being anticipation. I also hate driving with passengers in the car, again a confidence thing.

Thanks in advance for any advice/ideas.

Confidence will come with smooth, controlled driving, and that will come with good anticipation. Can't stress it enough - commentary driving. When you drive, talk yourself through what you are seeing and thinking. Everyone's style varies slightly, but mine might sound something like:

"Pedestrian crossing in distance, lights green, following traffic good distance behind, no pedestrians approaching. T-junction on right beyond, van waiting to emerge, following traffic closing up, pedestrian lights still green. Van emerging, traffic behind close, off gas to maintain gap, roundabout in distance, 30 mph limit just before, staying off gas to reduce speed, following traffic increasing distance."

It all varies according to road conditions, and it doesn't matter if you have to change focus etc. as more important things need to be handled. The important thing is that it gets you used to consciously thinking about what you are seeing and what you are going to do about it. You will rapidly find your observation and anticipation improving if you do this regularly.

Tre-beam

Hi,
I just wanted to chip in about hypnotherapy.

You can actually find some decent hypnotherapy apps/mp3s/cds that are specifically geared towards driving confidence etc. Some of them are quite cheap/free - some are better than others of course!

I have a hypnotherapy driving app which I used and I recently passed my test at the age of 39 after having an 11 year break from lessons (I failed my test 7 times!).

I have no idea if the hypnotherapy contributed but I finally have my licence :T

Don't give up - you'll get there in the end

pollypenny

Thank you, lister. I used to do the commentary thing when I was a new driver, I passed my test in 1970 would you believe.

It's just that for the last 20 years I worked a mile away from home and that was about the extent of my driving.

Feeding in to a busy dual carriage way scares me. I used to be able to do it. I must practise I suppose.

Too many women allow their husbands to take over the driving and become de-skilled.

orchid2010

I was always petrified when I had my driving lessons and it took me 18 months to pass my test on the 2nd attempt (this was before a theory test was needed).

After a couple of attempts at driving which were a nightmare I gave up driving. I married my husband 6 months after passing my test and as we worked at the same place did not have to worry too much if I didn't drive. I will also say I am one of the world's worst back seat drivers (only appeared after I had learnt to drive).

Fast forward to having a young child and changing place of work, which meant a 20 minute walk to school, 30 bus ride into town, another 30 minute bus ride out of town the other way, then 15 minute walk to place of work. On the way back to school I had 10 minutes to run to the school about 1 mile up hill to get there on time (got told off by the teacher a few times).

I then had no choice but to drive. Luckily my in laws had brought a new car and gave me their old banger. The first two weeks I was a gibbering wreck after each journey, I cried and only keep going because I had to. Driving it only took me 30 minutes to get to work door to door.

It took me about 2 years before I was really comfortable with driving (including a very embarassing incident where I had to get one of the lads at work to park my car in the work's car park).

Now I love to drive, I do all the driving when we go out as a family as I am such a bad passenger. Can parallel park as well.