Afraid of driving. Help?

sweetsheep84

Hi OP, couldn't read and run. It took me 4 years, over 50 hours, 2 theory tests and 3 practical tests to get it done. And I finally past my driving test last week. So not much of suggestions but just want to tell you that you can do it. Keep at it and don't give up

Buttonmoons

Hiya - I just passed my test last month, 1st time - BUT, I must of had oh, near 60hours of lessons at £28 an hour - EYEWATERING. Im now insured on a friends car, but for the love of me, I cannot reverse park - so where am I going? Back to my instructor for lessons on reverse parking.

I sympathise OP - I've always got muddled with my left and rights, and going backwards just makes that worse! I painted my left hand nails with L's before my test so I could quickly glance at my hand and know which way he meant - it's really just under pressure I got more muddled!

But I had an atrocious lesson before my test, albeit I was still feeling really confident, when I was in the car during the test, I could feel myself sweating to death, especially since I messed up a gear change 3 mins after leaving the test centre. I got the parallel park as my manouvre - and I hit the kerb on it, albeit gently, I tried to straighten up some more and he said "I've seen enough, drive on" I was SO sure I'd failed then, so after that I felt less pressure, but still managed to rack myself up a total of 10minors before getting back to the test centre.

I think my instructor was more shocked I'd passed than myself :rotfl: but my minors weren't dangerous things as such, going slightly wide, hesitating at the worst roundabout ever (haudigan if you wanna google!) - Ive driven with my daughter in the car - but only with someone beside me. My sense of direction is rubbish, I've lived in Aberdeen all my life but behind the wheel I feel confused as to which way Im going even if Ive went that way 200 times on the bus :-/

lippy1923

I passed my test about 5 years ago and have been driving ever since. I have to admit, I am still afraid of driving to this very day!

Melonade

At 3:30pm today I'll be having my first lesson in 12 years. I'm pretty much about to have a nervous breakdown but the only thing keeping me from not cancelling is I'm determined to do it. Ok I've gone for driving an auto this time but I don't care!!!

I'm gonna stick 2 fingers up to my nerves and just try to enjoy it. I know it's harder for some people and my real fear is the dentist so I know if your terrified of something it's difficult. OH has already bought me a car to add a little pressure.

Artichoke, can your oh take you to an empty car park just for a little drive around? It might help by just driving again with no other road users and then you might feel brave enough to drive the car home.

I wish everyone with driving fears the best of luck with it and my sympathy too

angelil

Good luck Melonade!!

Thanks so much everyone for all your kind words. It really means so much to know that there are people out there who know how I feel. I think you could be right, Errata, about this being part of the problem.

I had my driving lesson today and as usual there's good and bad news The good news is that we have had terrific rainstorms here today (thunder, lightning, the whole lot) and I managed to drive in that for a whole hour without even breaking a sweat Didn't bother me in the least. I had to concentrate a bit more but that was is.

The bad news though is that this meant I barely got past 40kmph today...and I'm sure my problem is mainly with driving at speed.

I do feel better today about the whole thing though as today's lesson proved that I can drive reasonably competently even in adverse conditions. You can probably tell I was VERY depressed about this last night.

StumpyPumpy

artichoke wrote: »

...
So does anyone have any advice for how to increase confidence for driving when you do have a licence but don't drive at all? I have not driven for 7 years now.
I have set a goal for myself to get driving locally again (and then will build up to driving on motorways later) but everytime DH says he will sit with me to get my confidence back i just panic and make some excuse.
art

@artichoke
My advice would be: take some more driving lessons. You don't need to be a learner to take them and a professional tutor will help restore your confidence quicker than you could do it yourself.

Many people find it easier to relax with a "stranger" rather than family in these situations and you can usually do without discussing all your driving errors around the dinner table.

SP

Errata

artichoke wrote: »

thanks but i am scared to even get the car off the drive on my own... i am thinking that if DH drives the car somewhere quiet and then i take over the driving to drive back that might work but i always find an reasone why i can't do it, ie i'm tired, have the wrong shoes on for driving etc...
That's pure self sabotage.

I was wondering if the hypnotism driving CD's might give me more confidence....

I am a confident person in the work life, so most people would be shocked to hear i am scared to drive...
Would they? Would it surprise you if actually most people not only wouldn't be shocked, they wouldn't give a monkeys. And if they did - so what?

art

Hope my comments in red aren't too harsh. It seems to me that perhaps there may be some 'stuff' you need to unpick to discover why you're using self sabotage to protect yourself, and why the opinion of others should loom so large in your life.

Paddles

angelil wrote: »

Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

Basically I have a real fear of driving and NEED to get over it. I just wanted to post here to see if anyone had had the same experience as me and even get some advice on overcoming the fear.

PLEASE help me as I cannot go on like this. I am beginning to wonder if I should see a doctor as I feel so bad whenever I get into the car (as a driver...no problems as a passenger). Sorry this is so long but I really hope someone has advice or similar experiences to share. Thanks in advance

you're not alone. It took me five attempts and around six years of on and off lessons to pass a test, due to my apparent inability to drive... however once I finally passed I was fine and found it easy (I think I just used to fall apart under observation). Anyway so all was good for years, until Christmas 2007 when I witnessed a nasty accident on the motorway, and as I had a first aid certificate I stopped to help. No one was seriously hurt but I was pregnant at the time so emotional anyway and I found myself very nervous after that.

Then in 2008 again while pregnant, I was involved in a no fault accident and my car was written off. I was okay, just a nasty bump on the head, but it didn't help.

The final straw came in 2011 when I was in a near miss, the other car was going too fast and I didn't see them. Everyone was okay but I've not really driven since. I tell people we can't afford a car but honestly I don't want one. DH has a license but has never really driven and much as I don't want to drive the thought of DH driving scares me. I can barely get in a car if my mum is driving. Because she makes me so nervous and can only just manage to get in my aunties. Even the bus makes me nervous..... It all seems a bit silly when I write it, because although I've been unlucky in a way, I've never been seriously hurt, I've hurt myself worse just being clumsy around the home and in general... but because I feel silly iI can't even admit to anyone how nervous I am, they'd never believe it of me anyway because I come across quite blase IRL

So the only advice I can give is to keep trying, and hopefully once you pass your test you will relax a bit and that should help massively :-)

angelil

^^ I'm the same as you... a few near misses and nothing serious but still feel this has left me with an underlying current of nerves.

Artichoke's feelings of inadequacy when it comes to confidence at work versus crapness behind the wheel also rings a bell with me. Normally in life I'm quietly confident and very committed, so would hate for instructors to think that I'm a bad student or that I cry all the time whenever confronted with difficulties.

Firetastic

I'm going to be getting my first car soon and what I'm going to do is take 2 hour driving course with the AA. It's called Drive Confident and the first 2 hours are free. So might be worth a look into.:)