Afraid of driving. Help?

Jessii1990

Didn't want to read and run! Just wanted to share my sympathies. I have been learning to drive for around 18months now with lessons every week and normally 2hours at a time! I am a complete nervous wreck when it comes to driving and fall apart at the thought of getting behind the wheel!

However there is light at the end of the tunnel. After having well over 35 lessons i actually passed my test today, first time with 2 minors! My advice is just to keep having lessons until you feel more confident. Theres nothing worse then getting in a car and not feeling in complete control. My instructor was amazing and kept reminding me that it doesnt matter how many lessons you have, you'll be ready when your ready.

Keep at it and with practice it should get easier! Hope your test went well today!!

angelil

Thank you all for your continued postings of support.
Jessii1990: congratulations!
HTB newbie: your story is truly inspirational. I would like to think that if you can do it then all of us can.

I'm always amazed (and slightly comforted for us as a collective, although sorry for us all as individuals) that so many of us apparently have problems/fears associated with driving that plague us long-term. Why does nobody ever talk about this? And why do so many people have problems with it? Is it societal pressures? Horrible examiners/instructors? Or are we all just incredibly clumsy?! (Don't know about dyspraxic, but clumsy definitely covers me. I'm constantly covered in bruises because I walked into a table, fell over or whatever.)

Currently having a lovely time on a weekend away with my husband, and will have all week next week (school hols...hooray for teaching eh?!) to decide on a plan of action if required upon receipt of my result.

I'm really glad this thread has helped so many people.

Firetastic

Well I did my 2 hour free lesson with the AA and my instructor is the most patient man I have ever met lol. Anyway decided to buy a block of ten. When I was buying it he said we do a 3 hour drive to Livingston at the end of the block. I'm thinking oh no I'll never do that.

Anyway get to my last four lessons and my instructor decides we'll do the three hour lesson then the last one will be reflection. On the morning of the Livingston drive I was in a right state. But he said come on you can do this. So I did with no problems. Did lots of overtaking which was fine. Afterwards wondered why I was so worried.

I must admit my confidence from when I got the car to now has improved. Not as confident as I would like but way better than I was. My instructor even said so himself on my last lesson how far I've come. It was a struggle to get to the end of my road without braking too far away from junction. Roundabouts I can keep going if it's safe whereas before I always wanted to stop.

So it can be done. Still loads to improve but getting there slowly.

AliBee16

Fingers crossed Angelil, but if you have failed this time - keep going. I became phobic about driving after I had passed my test 20 years ago. Classic phobic situation. I was 8 months pregnant, the doctor couldnt hear my baby, and sent me to the hospital for a scan. Couldnt get there by bus, so forced myself to drive, with my 2 year old in the back. On the way, my driving was a bit wobbly and a white van driver shouted 'You'll kill someone with that driving' out of the window. I still dont know what I had done wrong. By the time I got to the hospital, I parked sideways, and didnt drive again for 10 years. Baby was fine btw, just started Uni
Anyway, every time I tried to drive after that, I started shaking. It's very hard to do gears with wobbly legs.
I cracked it in the end - a really scatty friend I knew passed, using someone she said was brilliant, so I took more lessons with her, in an automatic. BSM but worth every penny. She was very patient, sometimes we'd just go round and round the block. She took me to places I actually would be going to (shopping, the gym etc), she showed me how to fill the car up, and how to buy car park tickets, so I was familiar with everywhere. I also bought the same car I learnt in (Vauxhall Corsa) so it wouldnt be any different when I was on my own. I still shook when I drove on my own 1st time, but I just drove round an empty car park for half an hour. Strangely, the fear left me that first time I drove, and I have been fine ever since. Had to drive to London a few weeks ago and, along with my trusty SatNav, was okay.
I would recommend hypnosis also though. And loads and loads of practise. Shame you aren't learning in England because places like BSM do have special instructors that specialise in nervous drivers.
And dont give up - but also allow a lot of time and baby steps

Richard53

I'm not sure I am qualified to comment here, as I passed my test early and have been a confident (and I hope competent) driver ever since. But, for what it's worth ...

I was very lucky, as my Dad enjoyed his driving and expected that I would too. He allowed me to get the car in and out of the garage as soon as I had my provisional licence, and also manoeuvre the car about in his car park at work. Later, when I was having lessons, he would take me to a disused airfield a few miles away and let me drive 'properly' there.

The point I am getting at is that I learned all about car control and was completely comfortable about the mechanical stuff before I got near a public road. When I started actual road driving, all I had to learn was dealing with road signs, traffic etc and gaining experience. I doubt if I would have done half as well if I had had to do all that while learning about changing gear and which switch does what.

Is it possible that you could find some off-road area where you can drive around (say up to 30 mph or so, with half a mile or clear space to practice)? You need to spend the time just driving up and down, changing gear, slowing, turning, reversing, until all of that is completely second nature to you and you can do it in your sleep. I would imagine that this would make you much more confident and would at least remove one of the major blocks to your progress.

Bear in mind that, in the UK at least, if you pass your test in an automatic, you are only licenced to drive automatics.

nimbo

angelil wrote: »

I hate driving but also wish I'd done it 10 years ago & got it out of the way...

Just got back. Almost certainly failed. RATS.

what ever you did it won't be worse than me - and it won't be as bad as you think. I have everything crossed for you...

if you haven't already you WILL get there. xxxx


and if you need a laugh -

1st test - got so befuddled I freaked out over half way through thought I had failed at a roundabout - got out the car (middle of town) made the instructor drive me back, only to find out I had 4 minors.

2nd test - same guy said my name I sobbed hysterically and refused to get in the car...

3rd test - the same guy walked in AGAIN, and the guy behind him said my name - I started bouncing and my instructor grinned and said 'you've passed your test then?'

angelil

Hi AliBee - thanks for your comment. I will just have to keep plugging away unfortunately: I have now received my result by post and I only scored 9.5 (you need a minimum of 15 to pass).

Richard - good idea, and if I were in the UK I would definitely be doing this (indeed, when I was learning in the UK I did do this). However, in France it's not allowed

I really hope I have a different examiner next time. I'm not saying I didn't make errors, but I hardly think it's helpful to have someone in the car with you who's constantly pointing out things you've just done wrong or are doing wrongly ("why did you do that?" "didn't you see X?" "why are you so nervous?" "why are you being so brusque with the gears?" etc). I would really rather they just shut up and didn't say anything to me unless it's which direction to go in...

janejustjane

Well, it took me about 15 years to learn to drive. I had lessons on and off since I was 20 and finally passed when I was 35, having failed numerous tests (in double figures) . It is the achievement I am most proud of and beside it my degrees and everything else pales into insignificance. It has made such a difference to my life. In my case the problem was I was paralysed with fear. Also my father never owned a car and I had rarely set foot in one until I was in my teens, and I was not very well co-ordinated.

“Crash courses” work well for some people. I bought a moped a year before I passed the test and that got me used to road conditions and gave me confidence, then my doctor prescribed beta blockers and I passed. I have never enjoyed driving and drive because I have to. My instructor ( the last one) said I was a very safe driver, but my husband does not agree!

Melonade

angelil wrote: »

Hi AliBee - thanks for your comment. I will just have to keep plugging away unfortunately: I have now received my result by post and I only scored 9.5 (you need a minimum of 15 to pass).

Richard - good idea, and if I were in the UK I would definitely be doing this (indeed, when I was learning in the UK I did do this). However, in France it's not allowed

I really hope I have a different examiner next time. I'm not saying I didn't make errors, but I hardly think it's helpful to have someone in the car with you who's constantly pointing out things you've just done wrong or are doing wrongly ("why did you do that?" "didn't you see X?" "why are you so nervous?" "why are you being so brusque with the gears?" etc). I would really rather they just shut up and didn't say anything to me unless it's which direction to go in...

Angelil I'm sorry to hear you didn't pass this time. Have you booked for another test?

Your exactly right , you'll just have to keep plugging away at it because you will pass. You can do this and the day you pass you'll be glad it's over but chuffed to bits you stuck with it.

I'm a nervous wreck, not with the actual driving but the manouvers and round abouts my instructor has just decided today to book my test for December some time. He's also asked me to think about buying some Kalms that I should start taking a week - 10 days before :rotfl: I'm not sure if it will help but he thinks it's worth a try.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for your next test. Stay positive

brunettifan

I had lessons at 17, failed my test and walked away. At 30 family circumstances meant I needed to drive so I had 10 lessons and passed. Then I began to have panic attacks whilst driving and I was so close to giving it up, but I persevered. Even now I sometimes have to steel myself to drive and I am always glad to get from A to B safely. I really hate night driving as my vision doesn't seem up to it which makes me anxious.

I would say stick with it and good luck.