Afraid of driving. Help?

coolcait

Hi Angelil


I hope this comes across as constructive - because that's how it's meant!


It's frustrating when you don't pass an exam first time. Or second time. Or third. And so on.


At that point, you have to guard against turning it into a self-fulfilling prophesy.


So, for example, with the point about the examiners talking to you, even though you have asked them not to. It sounds as if they talk to all the people taking a driving test - so it would actually be quite unfair if you were the only one who didn't get that 'distraction'.


In fact, I remember by driving instructor explaining that he would be chatting to me throughout our lessons because 'that's what happens when you're out driving with a friend or family - so you have to get used to it'.


It doesn't surprise me that this might find its way into the driving test. After all, how can you pass someone to drive - as long as they are always on their own?


The best way forward might be to introduce 'chatting' into your driving lessons. That way you're getting used to it happening, before you hit the driving exam.


It also allows you to develop the skill of the non-committal answer - so that you don't have to concentrate too hard on the fine detail of the conversation ;-)


Good luck with the next exam - and hope you get a date for it soon.

angelil

coolcait - can't think why I didn't reply to you. My apologies! I was always fine with general chitchat but couldn't cope with my driving instructors' semi-aggressive pseudo-psychoanalytical style of goading me while I drove.

In the end I gave up on waiting for my driving school here and transferred my file (at the cost of €80) to a driving school in the south near my aunt and uncle at the end of February. Took 2 hours of driving lessons on the Monday, 2 hours on the Tuesday, then the exam on the Wednesday. To be honest, I'm not sure I deserved to pass the test: the instructor and examiner were really in cahoots, narrowing down the questions I could be asked about the inside/outside of the car to a pool of 20 or so questions, which I was informed about the night before. I was then (during the exam) given the easiest manoeuvre ever (bay park, not even in reverse) which I still didn't complete to my perfectionist satisfaction At this point, the examiner offered me the chance to step out of the car for 5 minutes for some fresh air, as I was clearly nervous (although I thought I'd actually been quite calm up until then...!). He and the instructor then went across the road from the car park to a cafe...for 20 minutes! :eek: Didn't really know what to do with myself, or whether this meant things were going well or badly, so after my 5 minutes of fresh air just sat in the car, lol. Towards the end of the test he asked me questions (from the narrow pool I'd been informed about in advance) about the inside of the car only (not the outside, which they also normally have to do). I was then told I'd passed immediately (again, not normal practice in France - you normally get your result by post or online, not personally) and found later on that this was with the minimum number of points needed.

So I did pass...but not sure I really deserved it!
Since passing I have tried to drive little and often, although my first 'solo' drive (i.e. with my husband) was to Ikea :eek: so a bit of a baptism of fire! We then went away for the weekend last weekend and I did a bit of the driving there and a bit coming back too. Not sure when we will get the car out again (parking is a nightmare around here so not worth getting the car out just for 'practice') but will keep trying to drive so that I don't get the fear again/forget how to!

It may have just been luck on my part that I passed this time, but I suppose it proves anything's possible...

barbiedoll

Oooooh, well done you!! (We knew that you'd do it eventually )

Now, don't start using excuses like "parking nightmare" to stop taking your car out. You have to drive often to really learn how to drive in everyday traffic and it really is a baptism of fire.

When I passed my test, I took my husband out in our car and very nearly ran down a cyclist when turning out of our road! Of course, this made me a nervous wreck and I honestly thought that it would be better for mankind if I didn't drive ever again. My husband, in his infinite wisdom, bought me a banger so that I could drive to work and basically told me that I had no choice.

I can remember that first journey to my workplace as though it was yesterday. I had to drive through Greenwich during the 2012 Olympics and the traffic on the way there was bad enough but on the way home, it was horrendous. There are lots of hills, roundabouts and traffic lights, I spent most of the time with my left leg shakily holding the clutch, by the time I got home, I was almost crying! :rotfl:

Now, I drive in London every day and I don't think twice about it. It really is just practice and you will get better every time that you go out. You'll still have your moments of course, just today, I had to pull out of a junction and a motorbike came screeching out of another road and nearly ran into me! :eek:

Congratulations on your pass and do try to carry on driving, you won't regret it. Just remember, you're still "learning" and you will be for the rest of your life. Enjoy your new-found freedom!