Afraid of driving. Help?

top_drawer_2

angelil wrote: »

Thank you all for your continued postings of support.
Jessii1990: congratulations!
HTB newbie: your story is truly inspirational. I would like to think that if you can do it then all of us can.

I'm always amazed (and slightly comforted for us as a collective, although sorry for us all as individuals) that so many of us apparently have problems/fears associated with driving that plague us long-term. Why does nobody ever talk about this? And why do so many people have problems with it? Is it societal pressures? Horrible examiners/instructors? Or are we all just incredibly clumsy?! (Don't know about dyspraxic, but clumsy definitely covers me. I'm constantly covered in bruises because I walked into a table, fell over or whatever.)

Currently having a lovely time on a weekend away with my husband, and will have all week next week (school hols...hooray for teaching eh?!) to decide on a plan of action if required upon receipt of my result.

I'm really glad this thread has helped so many people.

Hello

Thank you for posting your thread. I'm in a similar situation and am absolutely at the end of my tether with it. I'm sorry I can't offer any suggestions as to how you should address the situation. Although things that have helped me include visualizing driving prior to the lesson for around 20 minutes (imagine setting off / doing a route you do often etc) and then when you return home go through the entire lesson in your head while relaxed, imagining how you would now deal with all the situations you faced).

I'm taking some of the suggestions you have received and will apply them to my own situation in addition to the ones I already do.

TD

codemonkey

Thank you so much for posting this thread. Its so good to know I'm not alone. I've failed 2 tests already, then gave up as my instructor screamed and shouted at me if I got anything wrong and my nerves were shot. I now absolutely despise driving but I need to learn as I'm sick of public transport.

I'm terrified of learning (and failing) again but thanks to this thread I've contacted a driving school in the area with a view to starting lessons.

I'm trying to use a carrot method, in that when I've passed my driving test, I can then think about my bike test.

heartbreak_star

Codemonkey, definitely change your instructor, it's amazing the difference a good one can make.

Angelil - sorry to hear

HBS x

angelil

Good luck, codemonkey!

I went to my driving school yesterday and they told me they have no test dates left for June or July (I'm not here in July anyway though, so that's OK) and they've written me down as priority for a test in August.

In France they have another weird rule that I've only just discovered: apparently if you fail 5 practical tests, your theory is also null and void (even if you are still within the 3 years of the theory test's validity). I figure, therefore, that if I can take a test in August, and then (if needed!) a test in December and April, that will take me up to the 5 tests. My theory test expires in July 2015, so that will take me to the end of its validity in any case (regardless of whether or not I've taken 5 tests).

I'm also leaving France in summer 2015 to move to Brussels with my husband, so in any event a clean break from the driving school would be on the cards. At that point I would probably consider doing a week's intensive course, either near my parents (in the UK) or near my aunt and uncle (in the south of France) during my holidays.

This all sounds irrelevant, perhaps, but it perversely makes me feel better to know the definite plan and timescale to all of this.

angelil

Well, it looks as though an August test is off the cards. Despite writing me down as priority for August, I've now been told that they will instead be prioritising students who've never taken a test before, and that I'm now not likely to get in for a test before September or October I just want this whole thing to be over and done with. My instructor also said to me after my lesson today that I can actually drive perfectly well (to the point that he doesn't think me having lessons throughout June will make much difference at this stage), but just need to be able to manage my stress for the test. My question now is - how?! I go to the gym 5 or 6 times a week. I'm not religious. I've tried homeopathy and beta blockers. I've also tried Paul McKenna's books. Just feel at a total loss as to what to do next. I think other driving schools will say the same thing to be honest, so not much point in paying the €100 administrative fee to change. Any suggestions?

ecgirl07

To boost my self confidence which has hampered my driving Im reading The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris. Its intended to help me overall but it is helping me deal with the wee voice in my head that says" i cant do this".

angelil

Thanks - I've added it to my Amazon wishlist

ecgirl07

Just a wee update from me - I passed my driving test yesterday (first time). My instructor has been ill for the last month and I have been out driving with my mum. This was all I needed to boost my confidence, to know I could do it without my instructor being in the car. So I saw a cancellation slot and booked the test giving myself only 2 days to fret. Spent the night before visualising scenarios and played through a perfect drive in my head. Used a lot of the skills of the confidence gap book and let negative thoughts drift away and maintained a positive vibe throughout.

If I can do it so can anyone:beer: (not beer cos I'll be driving)

angelil

Well done ecgirl! Great that you were able to go out driving with your mum and book your test at your own convenience (both practically forbidden where I am in France, grr). You must be so relieved

Still hoping to take my test in August....will let you all know if it happens. Had my last driving lesson in June before coming to the UK for a 2-week placement in July. My instructor said it was a virtually faultless drive so here's hoping!!

lulu_92

Kasasik wrote: »

my tips for passing the uk driving test are...
first relax and think positive,
listen to the inspectors directions and if you dont understand something then tell the inspector
re-assure yourself that its not the end of the world if you dont pass on your first test, many people dont, i passsed 2nd time around,
do not put yourself in for a test if you or your instructor thinks your not ready, all though it is good to have a test at some point just so you know exactly what to expect.

Definitely this.

I passed my first driving test on 1st August this year with 8 minors. I'm pretty proud of that.

I bought my own car in April, and got it on finance so I had more of a reason to pass quickly so it wouldn't seem like money going down the drain.

Just try to relax. If the examiner talks to you (mine did, which helped immensely) and you don't feel comfortable doing so, just tell them.

I say this on every driving test thread I post on but make it really obvious that you're looking in your mirrors and making observations. that will rack up minors faster than you think.