Afraid of driving. Help?

supermassive

I think, if it hasn't already been said, it needs to be said that some people just shouldn't drive.

If you're scared of roads or scared of driving, you're going to be putting alot of people at risk.

If you fail your driving test a number of times, maybe it's time to re-think your driver status. Although I'm fully aware that test-driving is completely different to qualified driving... for a start you've got all the learner markers so people steer clear where as when you're actually on the road on your own, people don't give a flying !!!! about if they're about to hit you, they'll keep on coming until you move... which is probably another reason not to drive if you're scared of it.

d70cw6

.....but driving is easy!

SailorSam

I got a motorbike when i was 16 and passed my test on that, so the following year when i started to learn to drive a car i think i found it easier 'cos i already had the confidence to be out on the road.

ecgirl07

SailorSam wrote: »

I got a motorbike when i was 16 and passed my test on that, so the following year when i started to learn to drive a car i think i found it easier 'cos i already had the confidence to be out on the road.

I think having "road sense" from being a cyclist definitely helped me.

Nual

Just want to add my observations.

I think for some of us the whole concept of driving is fraught with other issues. I had lessons on and off when I could afford them between 23 and 26, never enough to feel confident that I knew I was in control, but I couldnt afford to do more and didnt have anyone to practice with. Passed my test second time at 26, but didnt have a car. Then a friend of my parents was selling her Beetle so I got on the train and two days later set off on a 7 hour drive home, having never been on a motorway before, in a car I had never been in before. I made it back but there were some hairy moments!

Then my boyfriend moved in. He had passed his test only a few months before me but had a newer car than mine and had been riding a motorbike since he was 17. I just stopped driving - he wanted to do it and I didnt. If I needed to drive for work I found someone more confident to come with me and do the driving.

My mam learned to drive when my dad became ill, but she hated it and he critisised her when she had to. She never drove above 3rd gear or on a motorway and gave it up completely on her 70th birthday. Gender issues and control are relevant.

When me and my then husband split up I had to drive to get the daughters to nursery and school, me to work etc. I hated it - my legs used to shake so much but I persevered and would also make myself drive to places I had never been before. I kept telling myself that I was intelligent and capable and I could do this. And I did.

When my mam became ill I made myself drive the 7 hours each way to my home town. I got to feel comfortable with doing the drive , actually enjoying parts of the journey

But I have completely wimped out of driving (on the right side of the road) in Europe, never dared try and used public transport/ taxis/ willing driver instead.

I am also finding night driving increasingly hard as I age, it is so difficult to see clearly what is going on in front of me .

Guess I am just trying to say it is worth persevering but I had to be brave and uncomfortable and think if all these other people can do it then I can too.

lilrahi

After 7 years of driving lessons on/off, 2 theory tests, I passed my driving test, first time. But the nerves have never gone! Since passing my test, a month ago, I have driven 4 times, each time for about 5 minutes maximum.

I feel so nervous and a lot of it is down to the car, I drive my husband's and it is a right old clanger! Because he's been driving for years, he feels he knows it all and feels it's OK to criticize my driving, which annoys me seriously.

But I will persevere! I don't want to buy a car until I feel like I will drive it, which means I need to drive more to get more experience.

ecgirl07

It seems its all about attitude, I passed in july and love it. I would drive anywhere anytime. Now drive 14 miles a day commute and anywhere I want at the weekend.

Melonade

lilrahi wrote: »

After 7 years of driving lessons on/off, 2 theory tests, I passed my driving test, first time. But the nerves have never gone! Since passing my test, a month ago, I have driven 4 times, each time for about 5 minutes maximum.

I feel so nervous and a lot of it is down to the car, I drive my husband's and it is a right old clanger! Because he's been driving for years, he feels he knows it all and feels it's OK to criticize my driving, which annoys me seriously.

But I will persevere! I don't want to buy a car until I feel like I will drive it, which means I need to drive more to get more experience.

I've been driving for 5 months now and I was a nervous wreck at first. What I've found helped is going out on my own really early on a Sunday morning when the roads are quiet. Staying local and gradually going futher and further. I'll be honest I'm still rubbish at parking in spaces and usually have a good old walk to the supermarket because I literally park that far away so I'm sure I won't get anyone parking either side of me (steering lock on a Mini is not good considering the car is tiny)

My OH doesn't criticise me too much but he doesn't have too much patience when I'm trying to reverse and always rushes me. It's a pain in the backside but I've learnt to ignore him now.

Keep at it though and you'll get more confidence in no time

lister

lulu_92 wrote: »

I say this on every driving test thread I post on but make it really obvious that you're looking in your mirrors and making observations. that will rack up minors faster than you think.

Then please stop saying it - I can promise you that I find it incredibly easy to tell if my students are checking and observing regardless of how they do it. So can the examiners - they typically will be doing 35 tests a week, so are extremely good at observing how candidates are making observations.

There is nothing more hilarious (and at times slightly scary) than taking on a experienced student who has heard they need to make observations obvious. They look like some kind of manic nodding donkey. So busy moving their heads around at all angles they forget to look forwards half the time.

I like a slight head movement in a mirror check, not so I can see it, but because it takes maximum advantage of physiological and cognitive features of the eyes and brain and maximises observation. A flick of the eyes isn't sufficient for best observation, but will get you through a UK driving test.

angelil

Wow...lots of new replies here...some more helpful than others.

It's pretty clear that driving is not easy for me. I also lived in Oxford for a year and cycled a lot, but it doesn't appear to have given me any extra road sense.

People are more aggressive drivers here in France (in my view). They don't even give learners a wide berth when driving, and when you ask the examiner during the test to not talk to you (I have tried asking them this - two different examiners - in the two tests I have taken, in October 2013 and May 2014), they again respond aggressively and act like this is your fault in some way, saying it's only to 'help' you - and then continue to talk.

I have tried to make it obvious when I am looking at mirrors/doing observations, but occasionally my nerves get the better of me and I am more concerned about actually making sure I remember to look at all rather than making sure it 'looks obvious'. I have had examiners and instructors alike accuse me of 'not looking' when I have been. The aggressive tone of their accusations just makes me even more nervous and makes the situation worse.

Nual and lilrahi - your stories are so helpful. Thank you. It's always so good to know that one isn't alone.

Update on my situation: driving school keeps promising to put me in for another test but 'forgetting'. They promised November but then didn't do it. Now they are saying December. Haven't even had the chance to go in for a test since May! The system is very different here: each driving school gets allocated a certain number of spaces per month, which they naturally give to people who have never taken a test before, as a matter of priority. This means people who are on their second, or third, or more (!) attempt can be left waiting months (as I have) or even years (so I hear...) for another chance to take the test. Would change driving school, but there's a €100 admin fee My theory test will expire in July 2015, so I'm hoping to get at least one or two more attempts at the practical in before then. It's not so much about the nerves now as the frustration that they are delaying my chance to pass.