Dad has been calling our 8 year old a ponce and a woman to his face

Sommer43

Here is what I would do.

Go to see a family law solicitor. Ask for a referral to a family mediation service, whereby you can arrange a family meeting. You two can have a meeting between you and a mediator and you can air your views and your son's father can give over his side.

Then you can arrange a family meeting between you the three of you. This attempts to resolve the difficulties between you both.

Do not engage, he is making idle threats with his responses, cease all contact via text message and ask a solicitor to send a letter out that contact is ceasing until mediation can be arranged. Solicitors can advise, but you can instruct. You may have to pay for an hour's consultation, and for the letter, but at least your son will not be subjected to this.

It is clear, you are unable to reach a satisfactory solution currently. By bringing in mediation, you are doing everything you possibly can to sustain the relationship between your son and his father. Just stopping contact will not assist your corner.

If he wants to fight this, let him take you to court, not the other way around. Unless you want to apply for residency of your child. If he wants contact, then he will need to go through the correct channels.

Mediation is available at a fraction of the cost of the legal avenue and if your new partner is as good a step-parent as you say he is, then he will agree to the cost.

Engaging with this dreadful man will not serve you or your son any good. Stop the contact with him now, between you and him and get to a solictitor's office in the morning and get him a letter out in tomorrow's mail ceasing all contact till mediation is arranged.

That'll learn him to be so cocky with his homophobic venomous and vitriolic barbs.

whichwhydoIturn

Op I agree totally with the other posts, a child hood is just that a time for these beautiful ,carefree , happy little people that drives us mad and melts our hearts to learn , laugh, grow and devil into good adultsBeing subjected to verbal abuse from anyone , especially a parent is awful
How upsetting for you as his mum and for the little chap that must be wondering what's going on
Shame on your ex for taking his insecurities out on a child
Big hug to you both xx

Sommer43

http://www.familymediationhelpline.co.uk/find-service.php

Enter your postcode onto this site and it will give you the name and number of solicitors near you who offer referrals to family mediation.

Here is the national family mediation service. Your son does not have to suffer. Get some legal guidance and into mediation as soon as possible. Before this gets too bad. Your ex has some rebuilding to do with his son and if he chooses not to, you have your answer. You don't need to worry about it any longer. You can protect your son till he's an adult then he can make the choice for himself.

http://www.nfm.org.uk/

jellyhead

Del_Astra wrote: »

At no point did I suggest it was normal, I was just trying to figure out what set of the Fathers mental behaviour towards his son. IMO the Father is totally off this planet and not fit to be a Father, I was just trying to work out why he is behaving like a complete and utter half wit. It does sound like he has multiple issues, his behaviour it totally unacceptable and by the sounds of things needs assistance with his anger, he is behaving like a he is in the school playground, calling the person he had a kid with a pig is just vile an immature.

I was just quoting a bit from you - didn't mean to sound like I was arguing with you

Wilma33

Do you have direct contact with your ex's parents? Could you discuss the issue with them and hope they can talk some sense into their son and agree to them supervising contact at their house?

samtoby

When I went home last night his father had written me a letter about PR parental responsibility saying that he has equal rights if he wants to remove our son from school, he will. I have already said to the school he is not to leave that school with out my Mum or me.

His ex parents - one has just had an operation and although they understand I would not feel comfortable with all of his family and none of mine. I just wouldn't.

Our son has been fine today and openly said that Daddy is the only one that calls him these names and whether he will stop I just diffused the conversation because I think we have talked about it enough. If something bad has happened our son will keep talking about it and I want to protect him. The school have advised it was not mentioned yesterday and all was ok.

Despite the gay talk and threats through my son about hitting my new partner he has threatened by phone to kick me in the face - that wasn't on text unfortunately. He doesn't like not having control and I fear he is now loosing it because he can't malipulate me anymore.

zzzLazyDaisy

OP, in my view, the point has been reached where you need to go and see a solicitor without any further delay.

You need a solicitor who specialises in family law.

As I said before, in some cases the child is entitled to legal aid in his own right, regardless of how much the parents earn, as it is the child's interests that the solicitor is being asked to represent. I don't know if this is such a case (this isn't my area) but if finances are difficult, it is worth asking the question.

go_cat

Alpha male my a*se

This is bigotry Pure and simple.

I find it disgusting that a dad feels its his right to say this to an 8 year old. the poor child

Does he realise homophobia is illegal and not only that if his son is gay there is no amount of manly chats that will change that.

universalady_2

If he is threatening you aswell, I wouldn't hesitate to inform the police. It may be that this vile man is desperately trying to get some control over you, but make the police aware, it's always good to have a paper trail

duchy

It does sound like it's a control issue.

Question for you......If anyone else verbally attacked your son or threatened you or your partner-would you ignore it -or go to the police ?

Another question for you If your son as an adult asked you why you didn't protect him from this vile man and his threats and verbal abuse. What would you say to him ?

Go and see a solicitor today-please !