is this interfereing to much?

Nicki

Person_one wrote: »

Sex with more than one person in the entirety of your life is not necessarily promiscuity!

What I said was:

Nicki wrote: »

I think once a young person starts having sex there is a tendency or at least temptation to continue in most future relationships, and I suspect most people have quite a few romantic relationships between the age of 16 and the age they meet their forever partner.

and that WOULD be how I would define promiscuity, even if it is not how you would do so.

Person_one

Nicki wrote: »

What I said was:



and that WOULD be how I would define promiscuity, even if it is not how you would do so.

So someone who has say, four relationships of over a year before meeting their final partner and has therefore slept with 5 people in their life is promiscuous in your eyes?

That's a very puritanical view, its ok if you want to hold these beliefs but you might just have to accept that your children will feel differently, because they almost certainly will.

wik

Thank you Danny x
I have to say that I am so glad that my son has always been able to talk to me about sex etc...
My mum was great, she talked to me and my brother, and always made sure we knew we could talk about sex etc...
wik x

DannyBo

wik wrote: »

Thank you Danny x
I have to say that I am so glad that my son has always been able to talk to me about sex etc...
My mum was great, she talked to me and my brother, and always made sure we knew we could talk about sex etc...
wik x

No probs! I saw it on one of Dr. Christian's shows and rushed to install it on my previous iPhone - not that have any need for condoms :rotfl: (chance would be a fine thing)

I'm glad you have that relationship too. My mother and I have discussed 'delicate' issues in great depth also - however, this was outside of my teenage years. :beer:

Nicki

Person_one wrote: »

That's a very puritanical view, its ok if you want to hold these beliefs but you might just have to accept that your children will feel differently, because they almost certainly will.

They may, but I don't think you can say for certain that they "almost certainly will". Children and adults do form their opinions based on what their life experience is. We are open about sex - as I said I've had the talk already with my 12 year old DS (my other DS is 3 so too young, and my DD although 11 has a cognitive age of 2 so also too young) - but my kids' experience will be of living in a family where their parents waited until they were in a serious relationship and neither had multiple sexual partners and are happy and fulfilled by that. So, I would hope that this will have an influence on how they feel about waiting until they themselves are in a serious and committed relationship rather than jumping straight in with whoever they happen to be snogging when they are 16 and carrying on with everyone who catches their eye from then on. My eldest at least has also seen some of our adult friends lurch from relationship to relationship without any great joy in life, and I suspect that will also be having an effect on some level.

Person_one

Nicki wrote: »

my kids' experience will be of living in a family where their parents waited until they were in a serious relationship and neither had multiple sexual partners and are happy and fulfilled by that.

So was mine.

DannyBo

Promiscuity can be fun :T

Absolutely nothing wrong with it - who wants to eat at McDonald's every night their entire life?

I blame the church(es) guilt trippin'

gingin_2

Nicki wrote: »

They may, but I don't think you can say for certain that they "almost certainly will". Children and adults do form their opinions based on what their life experience is. We are open about sex - as I said I've had the talk already with my 12 year old DS (my other DS is 3 so too young, and my DD although 11 has a cognitive age of 2 so also too young) - but my kids' experience will be of living in a family where their parents waited until they were in a serious relationship and neither had multiple sexual partners and are happy and fulfilled by that. So, I would hope that this will have an influence on how they feel about waiting until they themselves are in a serious and committed relationship rather than jumping straight in with whoever they happen to be snogging when they are 16 and carrying on with everyone who catches their eye from then on. My eldest at least has also seen some of our adult friends lurch from relationship to relationship without any great joy in life, and I suspect that will also be having an effect on some level.

I'm 34 and have been with my husband for almost 15 years but I am so grateful that I had a fair number of sexual experiences prior to meeting him. I look back on those times happily but am quite content to remain monogamous for the rest of my life. I think exploring sex is wonderful, one of the best things about growing up. I don't feel damaged, I practised safe sex, have nothing but fond and fun memories. I think of my parents who seemed ( and still seem) to be each other's soul mates and I can pretty much be certain were each other's only partners until my father started having what I have gathered were non-emotional but sexual affair/s in his 40's. I just wonder if he had that chance to explore prior to meeting my mother that he would have made the same choices.

We have sons the same age and I really hope mine enjoys his youth, exploring and enjoying safe sex before settling down with a partner, if that is what he chooses.

Nicki

Person_one wrote: »

So was mine.

But with the greatest respect, based on conversations I've had with him on a range of subjects which you have also posted your views on here, my DS does not yet share many of the opinions or values you have expressed

But I accept he may change. I am not altogether convinced though that happiness lies in flitting from sexual relationship to sexual relationship at a young age, whether to do so is legal or not, and I hope whichever choices he makes in life are ones which make him happy

Nicki

gingin wrote: »

I'm 34 and have been with my husband for almost 15 years but I am so grateful that I had a fair number of sexual experiences prior to meeting him.

That is interesting gingin, because of my (female) friends when this has been discussed between us, although some of them have had sexual relationships they valued before meeting their current partners, I don't have any friends who began having sex at the age of 16 who don't now regret this, and of all my friends who have had multiple partners, although they don't necessarily regret every sexual relationship they had, they all would say they wish they had had fewer sexual relationships before they met their current partner. Generally speaking, amongst my own circle of friends, the fewer relationships they had before their marriage, the happier they are about that aspect of their life.

I do accept that other people can have different opinions, but perhaps it is better to wonder "what if" than to regret what has been done and can't be undone?