is this interfereing to much?

Poppy9

You've done right to raise with your son and I don't see it as your place to tell her parents but if they did ask if you allow them privacy in your home I wouldn't lie.

Regarding contraception I am shocked that she is so innocent and doesn't know where to go to access it. I am of the opinion if you are old enough to be sexually active you are old enough to protect yourself.

If she has a school nurse she can go there for advice in addition to FPC, GP or even Pharmacy. I would also make sure in the mean time they know how to access emergency contraception.

Person_one

Mojisola wrote: »

Two 16 year olds who can't even get themselves sorted out with good contraception don't sound like people ready for the responsibilities of parenthood.

Unplanned pregnancy doesn't have to mean parenthood.

I started having sex at 15, I knew then that I would have an abortion if I got pregnant, and that's still what I'd do if it happened tomorrow. Maybe this young woman has considered the matter and come to a similar conclusion?

Sex isn't just for people who are "ready for the responsibilities of parenthood", whatever their age.

Poppy9

Person_one wrote: »

Unplanned pregnancy doesn't have to mean parenthood.

I started having sex at 15, I knew then that I would have an abortion if I got pregnant, and that's still what I'd do if it happened tomorrow. Maybe this young woman has considered the matter and come to a similar conclusion?

Sex isn't just for people who are "ready for the responsibilities of parenthood", whatever their age.

I find it disappointing that you have such a casual attitude to the creation of life.

While I agree abortion should be legal and that a woman has a choice, I do not think it should be considered a method of contraception.

Person_one

Poppy9 wrote: »

I find it disappointing that you have such a casual attitude to the creation of life.

While I agree abortion should be legal and that a woman has a choice, I do not think it should be considered a method of contraception.

Forgive me, but I don't really care that you are disappointed by my attitude, I think it would be far worse to bring an unwanted child into the world.

Its not a method of contraception, its a method of ending a pregnancy when contraception fails which it does alarmingly regularly. Thankfully, I've never had to use it.

These 16 year olds don't have to be parent material to have sex, its not a foregone conclusion that there will be a pregnancy or that if there is there will be a baby.

hawk30

thunderbird wrote: »

Good point and maybe her parents don't feel she is ready to cope with a sexual relationship

But that's not their decision to make.

missindecisive

Thankyou all for your replies. I dont know her parents and have never spoken to them, so I dont know their views. Maybe, perhaps, i should never have allowed them their privacy in the first place, but its a bit late for that now! Besides, no doubt if not under my roof they would have found somewhere else to go, perhaps somewhere unsuitable.
I am going to give them both all the info/leaflets I can and the times of our local family planning clinic. I won't take them there, or go with them, I will just encourage the girl to talk to her own parents. I certainly won't break my son's trust in me by going to the girls mother. Thankyou again for all replies.

Macca83_2

Mojisola wrote: »

The fact that she's still so uncertain about things points to her being rather immature.

Her immaturity more than likely stems from the fact that she feels she cannot discuss these things with her parents without them shutting down the relationship

Brighton_belle

candjsmum wrote: »

Condoms are fine but I think its better to have 2 methods in place.

For the additional reason that the pill does not protect from STI's.

thunderbird

hawk30 wrote: »

But that's not their decision to make.

I just meant maybe that is their opinion and why they would not be happy if they found out.

skintchick

Treevo wrote: »

Why do you think a person's (above the age of consent) sex life is anyone else's business other than their own?

Because a) she is not an adult and b) she is living in her parents' home which means she needs to live by their house rules.

And if children stop being their parents' business at any age I think that's sad. Parents should always care about their children and want the best for them.