Whats your opinion?

ash28

It would be a funny old world if we all held the same views.

The OP is entitled to her views on her daughter sleeping with her boyfriend in her house. If she isn't happy or comfortable that's fine.

If her daughter isn't happy with her parents views on her sleeping with her boyfriend in their house- then she has a choice.

I'm fairly ambivalent on the subject - my own children didn't sleep with their boy/girlfriends in our house - they never asked.

Person_one

ash28 wrote: »

It would be a funny old world if we all held the same views.

The OP is entitled to her views on her daughter sleeping with her boyfriend in her house. If she isn't happy or comfortable that's fine.

If her daughter isn't happy with her parents views on her sleeping with her boyfriend in their house- then she has a choice.

I'm fairly ambivalent on the subject - my own children didn't sleep with their boy/girlfriends in our house - they never asked.

Are you sure?

I think the daughter's right to have a sex life with her partner of a year at the age of 20 trumps her mum's right to not feel a wee bit uncomfortable.

My boyfriend started staying over when we were 16, shockingly, the world didn't end.

Sid_Wolf

My OH wasnt allowed to stay over at all until we had moved in together! though i could stay at his (mum was told i was sharing his sisters room but im sure she knew that wasnt true)

Yes it was a bit annoying, but I lived under their roof, paid no rent and had my clothes washed and most meals made. Had I been paying rent maybe I would have thought it unfair but I'm 22 now and still respect my parents rules/wishes, by not swearing in front of them, not smoking in their house etc etc.

We've stayed round there once as a couple, the Christmas before last, we were allowed to stay in the same room but had been together for nearly 5 years, were engaged and living together. We still wouldnt have dreamed of having sex, I wouldnt do that in anyone elses house! its disrespectful IMO. And yes before I moved out I viewed it as my parents house and not mine (though it was my home), because they worked and paid for it.

If they dont like it they should stay at his IMO, it is incredibly disrespectful to deliberately go against her parents wishes, regardless of what they get up to elsewhere/when the OP isnt home

Torry_Quine

I find it strange that it's OK when you aren't there but they can't stay in the same bed when you are at home. I would have thought that you either accept them being together in the same bed or not all the time.

Sid_Wolf

Torry_Quine wrote: »

I find it strange that it's OK when you aren't there but they can't stay in the same bed when you are at home. I would have thought that you either accept them being together in the same bed or not all the time.

Perhaps she is picking her battles? If they hang out there regularly while there is no one home she is probably wise enough to know that they are going to get up to stuff. However doesnt want to think about/hear them/walk in on them/have them come down all sweaty and smelling of it afterwards!

Torry_Quine

Sid_Wolf wrote: »

Perhaps she is picking her battles? If they hang out there regularly while there is no one home she is probably wise enough to know that they are going to get up to stuff. However doesnt want to think about/hear them/walk in on them/have them come down all sweaty and smelling of it afterwards!

Posssibly.

I know it wouldn't have been allowed at all with my parents, not that I ever wanted to.

Sid_Wolf

Torry_Quine wrote: »

Posssibly.

I know it wouldn't have been allowed at all with my parents, not that I ever wanted to.

we never have and never would, I would be mortified to think of my parents being able to hear me or walking in. Or my mum washing our post-sex sheets! :eek:

No thanks, and I've never ever heard my parents either!

sharnad

Is she paying rent

zcrat41

I'm amazed at the number of people who think it's ok!

It's their house and therefore their rules. If the daughter doesn't like it she should be manning up and paying for her own place.


FWIW, I'm now married (in 2011) but up until then it was separate beds in my parents house out of respect for them. They (and I however) would also have disapproved of moving in before marriage/engagement.

Stick to you guns op.

thescouselander

I think the OP is being unreasonable - where is this going to stop? I'm sure the OP doesn't want to get into the situation I face where my in laws wont let me sleep in the same bed as my wife if we were to stay round there. I dont know the reasons for this either.

Of course I flatly refuse to stay round there under any circumstances. Maybe its better to get used to the idea of your DD sleeping with someone else in the same bed while she's staying.