Whats your opinion?

lolavix

I used to have this argument with my mum all the time, despite being with a boyfriend for 2 years we still had to sleep separately and it caused a huge amount of arguments. I even asked her if she'd rather I had sex in an alley and her answer was yes, as long as it wasn't under her roof!

I've now lived with my boyfriend for 5 years, we stayed over there one Christmas and had to leave the door open and wear pj's. The only reason we weren't in separate rooms was that there was no space.

Needless to say, we've never stayed at Christmas since and me and my mum do not have the best relationship as I felt I could never talk to her!

System

Wirenth wrote: »

I'd make my exercise-hating Mum do a 2 mile hike before breakfast.

In your case, the potential harm to your younger siblings would make this a sensible request from your parents. It wasn't simply wanting to retain control over you.

I agree, and always respected their decision...we found ways round it though (my ex used to stay one night at our house-us in seperate rooms-and one night in a hotel so we could..have..alone time )

viscachaz

Not sure if it's been mentioned already, but sleeping in the same bed doesn't mean they're going to have sex.. it's possible to be next to each other and just sleep!

Lozzy88

Simular situation with myself and a ex partner I was going out with him for 2 years I was 16-18 he was 21-23 he lived in the next town and when I stopped over at his, his mother asked me to sleep in the spare room, I must admit 1st time she asked I nearly fell over myself laughing because I thought she was joking but apparently not!

The only problems I had with it was 1) it was one of them single fold away beds well past best and 2) she used to in the middle of the night find a reason to pop in the room which is a bit weird, I stopped staying over aftet a few months which was possibly what she wanted lol but I couldn't cope with broken sleep, and if she thought it was to stop us doing rudies it didn't we did it mostly day time anyway, I like my sleep too much to be woken :rotfl:

Basically I think if op`s daughter think its so terrible that they can't share a bed am sure they will stop at his place more often????!

abis21

I think respect has to be mutual when you are talking about a relationship between 2 adults (ie OP and DD).

My mum always said she would prefer me to be safe and not being sexually active in a bush somewhere or in a car.

She trusted my judgements and the values she had instilled in me that I wouldn't be inviting lots of different partners back, and indeed there was only ever 1 long term relationship that stayed over and we bought a house a year later anyway.

I think sometimes there needs to be more discussions and less embarrassment over subjects like this.

I don't think the DD should have gone against OPs wishes - but I think that it should have been discussed in greater detail prior to a situation like this occurring. There is a sort of mixed message in that its ok for the boyfriend to stay over when OP isn't there.

lazer

claire16c wrote: »

Do you have a particularly religious group of friends because I do not think this would be the case at all for the average person.

I don't see what morals have got to do with being married. A quick look on the posts on this board will give you a glimpse of the cheating/ lying and goodness knows what else married people do to one another.

I'm married myself but I would never judge someone's relationship on whether they were married or not.

No i don't have a particulary religious group of friends - in fact I am probably one of the few religious ones (and I am not overly zealous about religon - I go to church some sundays, religious days etc, and try and live a good life - but my religion does not define me).

Yes some married people cheat lie etc, but not all and they don't (at least I hope they don't) enter into marriage with the intention of cheating etc.

I find it sad that young people are sleeping with each other after just few days into a relationship and then jumping into another sexual relationship whenever that breaks down. The fasination young people have with sex could even be he cause of the relationship breakdown. Many couples are so infatuated with sex in th early days (understandably so) that they don't take the time to get to know each other and find out how compatible they are oputside the bedroom, then the initial infatuation/excitement wears off and the couple have nothing to talk about etc and spilt up.

It is very important to get to know someone before jumping into bed with them IMO