Whats your opinion?

Mojisola

mrsma has been on the site but not responded to this thread.

I wonder what she thinks of the views that have been expressed?

Do posters ever change their original position after reading other people's views?

Jinx

daisiegg wrote: »

When I was in my teens/early twenties I was with a boy for 5 years. Not only did we sleep separately at our parents' houses, but we kept up the illusion if having separate rooms in the house we shared, too. My parents are catholic, as I have said, and his were also religious (though not a Christian religion). His sister was in her late twenties, had been with her partner 10 years and lived together for 5, and yet when they visited her parents they still had separate rooms! No one complained or minded. It was about respecting your parents and their beliefs and wishes.

I can understand the separation in your parents house and yes get respecting their beliefs and wishes. However, where the couple clearly does not share their beliefs why would you keep up the charade in your own home?? If you are adult enough to live together then in my opinion you are adult enough to give your partner his/her 'place' in their own home. And respect goes both ways, the parents should accept their childrens beliefs and how they choose to conduct themselves.

KxMx

It's kind of mixed messages you are giving DD, they can have sex when the house is empty but not when you are there. Have you spoken to her like an adult and explained exactly why this is? Do you even know yourself? DD has put forward reasonable arguments and i'd say the ruffling the sheet in the spare room is her response because she is frustrated with you.

I know when my Mum went through a long period of being hugely invasive, I kept things from her, harmless things, in a childish attempt to get some power back because she was overpowering me. I knew well what I was doing and how childish it was but I was so frustrated at her knowing every little thing I was doing I had to wrest some power and my response was to act like the child she was treating me like!!

j.e.j.

It sounds like, in short, if OP wants to be prudish that's her good right. It's her own house after all. However it won't do much to improve the relationship between her and her daughter.

I would like to ask people who have the 'not in my house' attitude: what are their expectations, then? OK in some cases people don't believe in sex before marriage, fair enough, but many people are not Christians and still object to their daughter having a serious boyfriend (or even husband, it seems!) staying overnight.

I find it VERY weird. Do they want their adult daughters to be celibate, or would they rather she went out and did it on a park bench or something? Anywhere as long as it's not in your house?! :eek::rotfl: What on earth is wrong with people, that they don't want their adult offspring making love, or even sharing a bed, in their house? Maybe they are afraid they will hear them or something and then feel uncomfortable?

I guess some attitudes are illogical but deeply ingrained. I hope that generation haven't passed their hang-ups and 'my house my rules' attitude down to the next generation..

Wirenth

j.e.j. wrote: »

I guess some attitudes are illogical but deeply ingrained. I hope that generation haven't passed their hang-ups and 'my house my rules' attitude down to the next generation..

I love the 'my house, my rules' mantra that the power-hungry cling to. It makes me wonder what the parents would do when they come to stay at their child's house in the future. Especially if the grown up offspring decided to impose the 'my house, my rules'. There could be plenty of fun to be had with this. Mandatory glass of kelp & wheatgrass juice for breakfast..._pale_

daisiegg

Wirenth wrote: »

I love the 'my house, my rules' mantra that the power-hungry cling to. It makes me wonder what the parents would do when they come to stay at their child's house in the future. Especially if the grown up offspring decided to impose the 'my house, my rules'. There could be plenty of fun to be had with this. Mandatory glass of kelp & wheatgrass juice for breakfast..._pale_

But I think people who believe 'my house, my rules' DO believe that applies to other people's houses as well. I know my parents defer to my way of doing things when they come to my house, even if they disagree or do things differently in their own house. Same when my grandparents go to my parents' house!

phill99

This is just another example of the attitude of many young people who believe "I can do what I want when I want and how I want. I do not have to be respectful or courteous to any one". If a homeowner asks someone into their house as a guest, then that guest should respect their wishes. This is no different from being asked not to smoke in the house, not to wear shoes etc.

Whether the couple sleep together elsewhere or even in the same hose when parents are away is irrelevant. It's no about the OP having 'an issue' with her daughter sleeping with her partner. It's just about other people, who are invited into someone's home, having the decency and respect to honour basic rules. End of subject.

System

Wirenth wrote: »

I love the 'my house, my rules' mantra that the power-hungry cling to. It makes me wonder what the parents would do when they come to stay at their child's house in the future. Especially if the grown up offspring decided to impose the 'my house, my rules'. There could be plenty of fun to be had with this. Mandatory glass of kelp & wheatgrass juice for breakfast..._pale_

Oh i've always jokingly said that if my parents ever stay at my house i'm making them sleep in separate rooms :whistle: :rotfl:

Also in my case, i think my parents didn't want me sharing a room as i had much younger siblings in the house, and partly as well cos my dad is quite a bit older than my mum so a different generation, and more old fasioned.

minimoneysaver

Has OP not been back to update this thread yet?

phill99

Wirenth wrote: »

I love the 'my house, my rules' mantra that the power-hungry cling to. It makes me wonder what the parents would do when they come to stay at their child's house in the future. Especially if the grown up offspring decided to impose the 'my house, my rules'. There could be plenty of fun to be had with this. Mandatory glass of kelp & wheatgrass juice for breakfast..._pale_

It's not about being power hungry. It's simply about extending courtesy, having manners and showing respect. Seeing as half of 14 year old males walk round with their jeans hanging down below their under pants and are incessantly banging on about 'respek' and not 'dissing' each other, I thought you would understand this.

Evidently I'm wrong.