MOOLOO'S Muddling on into 2013

Padstow

I hope I'm not showing my ignorance too much here, but if the Twins can direct cars etc, why can't they look after themselves?

I was also going to ask about the Carer but perhaps not as I don't understand SS and such.

Take care Mooloo, nice to have a gift through the post, but I can't help feeling that money is the least of your problems. Those making demands on it is though! A strong shoulder for you would be far better. Perhaps keep how much benefits you have to yourself.

Savvy_Sue

Padstow wrote: »

I hope I'm not showing my ignorance too much here, but if the Twins can direct cars etc, why can't they look after themselves?

I hope I'm not speaking out of turn in explaining this: the twins have Learning Difficulties. That means it's difficult for them to learn things.

Directing cars may not be completely straightforward, but to my mind it's a case of turning up and being told "stand there, and send the cars left, that way." Maybe there's an additional instruction like "when that row is full, Fred at the end will wave at you and you move there, then stand there and send the cars left." But it's one or two simple instructions, given on the day, and doubtless reinforced as necessary.

Someone will tell them when it's time to take a break, and when it's time to pack up and go home. They don't have to make decisions.

Now, imagine someone who needs to have 'life instructions' in that simple one or two step fashion. "When you get up, have your breakfast, then clean your teeth, wash or shower and get dressed." You can't add "After that you need to wash up, tidy your bedroom, write a shopping list, and catch the bus at 10.10 to go to Tesco. When you get back you need to cook lunch (so make sure you bought something to cook), wash up and then catch the 2.30 bus so you can go and sign on. That means you need to find your paperwork for signing on. When you get home, have some tea (did you buy any bread and cheese in the morning?) and then you can go out if you've got any money." It's too much.

You see I can't even write those instructions in a step by step fashion, I keep thinking of things which might need to be spelled out earlier in the day.

Now apply that to a budget - and this is VERY common. You're paid £100 each week. Your rent is £70 each week. So, logically, you put £70 into the 'rent' teapot and you've only got £30 left in your purse. But no, many people think of everything they need or want to do with that £100 and they either haven't learned or can't cope with subtracting everything they're mentally spending it on. To them, they've got £100. £70 rent. There's still £100 in their hand, because that's what they've been paid. They will need £5 for bus fare and £10 for the gas meter, but right now they've still got £100 in their hands. They go shopping and spend £40 on food, because they've just been paid £100.

So what the twins need is someone calling in every day and saying "what do we need to do today? OK, you're not dressed yet, go and do that quickly while I sort out our priorities. Let's clean up this kitchen, shall we, then I'll leave you a list for when you go into town to sign on."

When Mooloo's been able to stand over the twins and do that, it's kind of worked, but of course they don't really like being told what to do all the time. And she can't just leave them lists, because they don't follow them for long.

This is why it's all so problematic.

minimoneysaver

Very well explained Savvy_Sue. I'm sure that Mooloo will agree with you.

It's a shame that there is a more residential style option. Without all of the stigma that was previously there in the past. The twins need boundaries to follow and need to be protected from those who wish to use them for their own gain...such as 'The family from hell!'

It must be a horrendous roller coaster day to day for Mooloo and her family.

silvercar

I have a friend with a daughter with learning difficulties that lives in supported housing. Her own independent flat but the site is warden controlled and a support worker visits regularly and is available on call. Would something like that work for the twins?

Also, I thought that rent could be paid directly from the council to the landlord for vunerable people who would otherwise be at risk of losing their home.

Eager_Elephant

silvercar wrote: »

Also, I thought that rent could be paid directly from the council to the landlord for vunerable people who would otherwise be at risk of losing their home.

The Twins rent is paid by Housing Benefit to their landlord but at least one has to top up their rent.

One of the twins (sorry can't remember which) has a spare bedroom so is now affected by social size criteria/bedroom tax/under-occupancy charge of 14%.

She was given a 2 bed - I assume because no 1 beds were available and Mooloo's son lived with her for a while but when he worked they took money off the Twins HB.

Now that the twin has rent arrears she cannot move even if there was somewhere suitable and smaller.

Eager_Elephant

Sorry should also have said that there have been issues with HB due to benefits stopping and starting so some months very little, if any HB has been paid further increasing the rent arrears.

I just wish I lived closer - I would love to help them both deal with the benefits system but I believe one of the twins now has a debt advisor so hopefully he can help with benefits.

Padstow

Thankyou Savvy_Sue, for your patient and detailed explanation. I was half expecting my ignorant head to be bitten off!

So extreme vulnerability as in the "Family from Hell". Plus day to day coping, but then shouldn't the carer have checked paperwork was sent for benefits?

Poor Mooloo cops it each time, as although the girls have little concept of money, they know where the bank of mum is!

I used to dip into Mooloo's thread from time to time, thinking how strange, to have what amounts to a blog on a money forum, but now I get it.

It's concerting that after some years, Mooloo doesn't seem to be that much further on. I'm referring to the vast readership on MSE and the knowledge that comes with it and yet no real advance.

Her daughters need to climb out, with help, as to what seems to be an endless round of financial benefits without a future. Can we help?


After Savvy_Sue's post, I started delving and found what I think is a wonderful scheme. Not in Mooloo's area yet.

It's catering. Not any old catering, but Weddings, posh teas etc. See here.
http://www.rumbles.org.uk/

I love the fact that this isn't just a job for those inhibited by difficulties, and that's it, but a pathway to independence.


It's where those with learning difficulties do exactly what Savvy_Sue described. They get their life ordered and eventually in order.

Savvy_sewing

Thanks Savvy Sue, that's exactly it. Each year they do the car parking with the same people. They just do as they are told and the "family" of workers look after them. This year when I went back to collect them you can see the comraderie, the hugs and banter were all so good to see. The boys look after them. There is a Mum there and her family that keeps an eye out too. Then it's all See you next year and everyone says bye for another year. The girls were tired but happy and motivated for once. Twin1 doesn't usually enjoy it as much but this year she seemed to have grown in confedence.
Re the benefit mess, EE is right about the shortfall, but both twins are in the same position with two bed roomed properties. There aren't any 1 bed roomed available.
Re my situation, I want to give tough love and walk away, but when ever I do something major happens and the system reel me back in to the group.
I am still feeling very fragile emotionally.
Managed to switch off a bit over the weekend. Went for the day to Weston Super Mare on Saturday with a friend who went to collect a table and chairs. Made a nice change, but I didn't want to come back. As the time to come home drew closer I could feel the knot in my stomach tighten and the stress envelope me. This is going to take some shaking.
I have had a response from a blacksmith the other side of Oxford who will meet DS and give him an assessment on what to do etc so its gong to be a bit of a logistical nightmare but we will see if he can help DS with an apprenticeship.

silvercar

Could the twins share a 2 bed property together? That would offer them mutual support, no HB shortfall, easier for carers to engage.

Savvy_sewing

silvercar wrote: »

Could the twins share a 2 bed property together? That would offer them mutual support, no HB shortfall, easier for carers to engage.

Oh I wish. But they won't. Tried giving them the reasonable arguements for but neither will listen. They fight like cat and dog a lot of the time. When I think I am close to getting them to agree they can't decide who would give up which etc and then fight and get stubborn. Both say they would "kill" each other as they see their sisters faults but not their own!
I have no solution.DS gets a try out on 14th July at the blacksmith in chalgrove. I think i may look for a B&B to put him up so I don't have to drive too much añd can keep my work that week. Need to balance costs etc.