MOOLOO'S Muddling on into 2013

Molly41

Mooloo wrote: »

Well I have lost my temper and had a fall out with twin2. I cannot keep proping her up, and she is still in the family from hells clutches, and has been cancelling the carers. I have told her that I dont want anything to do with her anymore and hung up on the phone!. I have told the social services that I am at the end of my tether and that it doesnt matter what I say she is not listening. All she is listening too is this girl from the family from hell.
She is on the verge of becoming homeless and she doesnt see it. I have told the social that there is no way I can have her back home, and that there is no room here anyway with my son back.
I really am just so frustrated with her.
She has borrowed money off of her twin, which she needs for her holiday that she is going on tomorrow, Its only £20, but that Only is going to cost me, as I said that I would give it to twin1 and get it back off of twin2 later. Obviously now that I have argued with her, there is no way I will be getting that back.

.

Im sure you are frustrated but perhaps that was a bit harsh?
What do you think she is getting out of being with this girl?
Perhaps she cant cope with how she feels and does not want to be alone?

Savvy_sewing

I probably was harsh but she is determind to stay under this girls rule and try to extort funds from us all as she needs to pay her bills. But the girl from hell is charging her money and as soon as she is paid the fortnights money is gone and her home is being put at risk for non payment. Can you imagine what will happen when housing benifit is paid to her and not to the housing association?
If she wont let me in and continues to be rude to me @ not even respect all that we try to do for her there is nothing more I can do. She has alienated all her siblings now too.
I suppose I will eventually calm down but I waste my life fighting to help her as nd she doesn't give the proverbial.
Today I am done. Social have been told. Its up to them to try and get control of her funds etc. If I am unable to get through to her then I am going to have to give in and save my energy for something else.

Errata

It sounds like the best way forward is for Social Services to become more involved. It must be very difficult to figure out how much of her behaviour is because of her learning difficulties, and how much isn't.
What seems to happen with some people with LD is that they can be very easily influenced by others who don't have their best interests at heart and who will abuse them financially given the opportunity.

Brighton_belle

Mooloo wrote: »

Today I am done. Social have been told. Its up to them to try and get control of her funds etc. If I am unable to get through to her then I am going to have to give in and save my energy for something else.

Tough as it is, this may be the best thing you could do Mooloo - once SS realise the finality in your voice, they may be forced to pick up the pieces. I say stick to your decision: it may need to get worse begore it gets better.

thorsoak

You really do have to stay firm with Twin 2, Mooloo -just as with your son! We know that she has enough problems to warrant the carers and social services intervention - but if they think that you'll keep on picking up the pieces, they'll let you! And what will happen if your health fails?

Stay firm, the girls do have to learn that you haven't got the money tree at the bottom of the garden and that you only have so much stamina x

loveasale

Dear Mooloo,
Hello, for some time I have read your on-going saga of life,
I have so many emotions and my views change daily!
Sometimes I want to pick you up and bring you home to my house and care for you in the way you deserve!
Then other times I'm shouting at my IPad for you not to bail your lot out , to give SS a kick up the backside.
Then there are times that I think we'll they are your kids ( you bought them in to this world ) so you should take responsibility of them and not expect tax payers to foot the bill. ( sorry Mooloo but I have to be honest with you)
You mention the 'family from hell' I do wonder what that family think of yours ?
As a few posts before have said I really believe you have to make a stand either way and stick to it, or things will NEVER change
Look at things and put them into compartments and tackle each one at a time.
You have such a talent for sewing- and you seemed so happy when you worked in the charity shop, I know it wasn't paid but when I was at my lowest my work was my saviour, I'm a great believer of work ethic gives a better person in the end!
Maybe you should talk to your twins , and I mean really TALK, I do wonder how they feel? One has her child living with you, but the other's boys are fostered out, yet you can't / won't have them live with you? That must send them both very confusing signals with their special needs?
I'm sorry if I have offended you, but I just wanted to air my views and be truthful to you.
I do really wish you well and hope things get better, keep up the sewing and stick to your decision !

Brighton_belle

loveasale wrote: »

Maybe you should talk to your twins , and I mean really TALK, I do wonder how they feel? One has her child living with you, but the other's boys are fostered out, yet you can't / won't have them live with you? That must send them both very confusing signals with their special needs?
I'm sorry if I have offended you, but I just wanted to air my views and be truthful to you.

I find your words quite cruel loveasale. As though Mooloo hasn't 'really talked' to the twins time and again and this issue of having her dgd and not he boys has been so heart breakingly painful for mooloo. Well done for reminding her of the painfully obvious that she has to live and cope with every day.
But Mooloo loved the boys so much she recognised she just physically wasn't able to meet their needs and they would be better off with 2 well parents looking after them. That's real love.

As a taxpayer I am outraged that as a society we do not better care for the twins. It cannot all fall to mooloo, for starters she is in poor health herself. I want to live in a society that looks after its vulnerable members. The twins are adults now not 'kids'. Surely at some point a tired ill and poor parent has to be able to let go and not be endlessly responsible as some kind of punishment for having disabled children in the first place?

thorsoak

loveasale wrote: »

Dear Mooloo,
Hello, for some time I have read your on-going saga of life,
I have so many emotions and my views change daily!
Sometimes I want to pick you up and bring you home to my house and care for you in the way you deserve!
Then other times I'm shouting at my IPad for you not to bail your lot out , to give SS a kick up the backside.
Then there are times that I think we'll they are your kids ( you bought them in to this world ) so you should take responsibility of them and not expect tax payers to foot the bill. ( sorry Mooloo but I have to be honest with you)
You mention the 'family from hell' I do wonder what that family think of yours ?
As a few posts before have said I really believe you have to make a stand either way and stick to it, or things will NEVER change
Look at things and put them into compartments and tackle each one at a time.
You have such a talent for sewing- and you seemed so happy when you worked in the charity shop, I know it wasn't paid but when I was at my lowest my work was my saviour, I'm a great believer of work ethic gives a better person in the end!
Maybe you should talk to your twins , and I mean really TALK, I do wonder how they feel? One has her child living with you, but the other's boys are fostered out, yet you can't / won't have them live with you? That must send them both very confusing signals with their special needs?
I'm sorry if I have offended you, but I just wanted to air my views and be truthful to you.
I do really wish you well and hope things get better, keep up the sewing and stick to your decision !

Please remember, lovasale, that Mooloo's children have two parents - one who agonises over them the whole time ....and the other one!

These girls, although child-like, are no longer children (think they are 22 or 23 now) and as adults they are treated as such.

silvercar

thorsoak wrote: »

These girls, although child-like, are no longer children (think they are 22 or 23 now) and as adults they are treated as such.

Long time lurker!

For some reason I thought the girls were older. How old is DS?

Savvy_Sue

thorsoak wrote: »

These girls, although child-like, are no longer children (think they are 22 or 23 now) and as adults they are treated as such.

And for loveasale's benefit, this is one of the problems: they are adults with learning disabilities. These disabilities are not 'bad enough' to get them the help they really need on a consistent and ongoing basis, but they are real nevertheless.

Mooloo can talk to the twins until she is blue in the face. So can all their support workers. But while most young adults would learn from experience, eventually, the twins do not - quite possibly CANNOT - 'learn' everything they need to in order to lead a 'normal' life.

Mooloo's DS must be 19 or 20 now (he's a year or so younger than my youngest).