Real-life MMD: Should we share private financial info with mother-in-law for sake of

pjran

I think you should tell her what financial situation you're in. If you apply for a loan you give them all this information, they are strangers and will charge you for the privilege.

You should count your lucky stars that she is able and wiling to help you.

To some it could be considered nosy but hey you need to swallow your pride and just be grateful.

Pee

It's a choice between a lower rate of interest and what you feel is an invasion of privacy. Only you can decide what is more important for you. I can think of different times in the past when I would have made different decisions about that.

DrSheldonCooper

Yes she does have the right to make this a condition of the loan. You must understand that if this is a loan and not a gift she has the right to assess the risk she is taking by gaining an understanding of your ability to repay.

I have experienced a similar situation from a different angle, where I have lent a family member a large sum of money and am now struggling to get repaid. Because the relationship isn't simply financial dealing with it is now much more complex.

If you want the help you need to be open about your income and expenditure, clear about the term of the loan and the expected schedule of repayments. If you have discretionary expenditure which you intend to maintain (e.g. gym membership, regular night out with friends, holiday plans) you should also identify these items and agree with your mother in law that these will be cut if needed to make repayments to her.

Above all else ensure you are all clear about the nature of the money in that it is a loan and not a gift.

marich

You'll find yourself having to give your 'private' financial details to the stranger at the bank if you opt for that road . It's your choice . Your MIL's interest is likely to be so as she can help rather than pry .

Maybe you should ask yourself what it is you feel you'd like to hide - and from who (bank , MIL or yourself ?) .

ska_lover

No, I wouldn't give these details to my mother in law. I would borrow from a bank over and above borrowing off of a family member anyway as it will lead to nothing but trouble. Families and lending do not mix.

Really MIL has little trust for you and is being exeptionally nosey if she cannot just accept an assurance that you will pay back.

Go to the bank, it will be easier.

reluctantworkingmum

Give all your private details to the bank and pay a hefty interest or give same details to your MIL and pay no interest
For me it's a no-brainer!

Ebenezer_Screwj

If you don't want your mother in law to know your business then don't take her money. Have you thought what you are going to do when you have spent the money, if you do borrow it from her ? What you need to do is to cut down on your expenses, making sacrificial savings if need be.

ohit

Maybe she wants to try and help ?
By knowing facts about your income/expenses and then being able to suggest rational ideas to help you financially longer-term.

Do you have anything to hide? Are you struggling financially because you are being less than optimal with your (money) resources and don't want to face that music with someone really 'close to home' ?

Swallow your pride and be open to a potentially new way of thinking. I say potentially, because her 'demand' for those details could be rational - is she baffled as to why you still need *another* loan to help ?

seven-day-weekend

If you don't want to play by her rules, don't take her money. Simple.

Jonic

Hi,
You don't provide any information on the relationship with your MIL or your previous loan agreements / arrangements, on this occasion what makes your MIL question your incomings / outgoings in order to repay this loan?
Is loan much larger and over a longer period of time? Does she feel that your not managing your money and wanting to help?


For consideration;
How much are you looking to borrow? How long will it take to pay off?
Eg. £3600 at £200 per month. 18 months of payments.
1.If you take out a loan, would the company be watching daily / weekly and questioning how you use the loan?
2.If you borrowed from your MIL would you feel you are subconsciously being watched / questioned on your purchases / shopping / lifestyle?

Outcomes,
Point 1. Just pay the loan off, carry on with your lifestyle, no change, probably remain in debt, and pay extra for the loan!

Point 2. Makes you think about your future purchases, money management, lifestyle knowing your subconsciously being questioned / watched. Out of debt, lessons learnt!