meeting husbands female friend!

moodykerry

Thankyou all for your advice, I will see how it goes, it will probably tell me a lot.
Thanks Kerry

SoozieSoo

vik6525 wrote: »

Moodykerry.... My best mate is a bloke! Ive known him since i was 5 and he was 7... We exchange flirty banter, and muck about, but NOTHING has ever happened between us (if it was going to, im sure it wouldve happened when we were going through our hormone rush in our teenage years!!!)
Id be so sad to think that any girlfriends of his have seen me as a threat, cause im really not.

There is a whole world of difference between a girlfriend, and a wife who is the mother of your children. If a woman exchanged "flirty banter" with a married man, she would be bang out of order in my opinion.

SoozieSoo

lynzpower wrote: »

why would anyone flirt with someone they dont fancy/ want to bed?

I dont understand- flirting is the first step in foreplay as far as Im concenred.

I agree. Men, especially do not flirt with woman they don't fancy. In fact most men don't even give the time of day to a woman they don't find attractive. (Thats why I don't have any male friends!!!)

poe.tuesday

I don't understand all this insecurity?

she is just a work mate who he gets on with and that he likes - does not mean that he wants to go off with her - there are only 2 sexes in this world - we can be friends with the opposite sex you know and there be nothing more than friendship - I have loads of male friends and I don't want to bed any of them.

My partner and I have been together for 11 years, we have two children together - he has male and female friends and so do I, we banter a lot with each others and our friends - we have one gay mate who really fancies my partner - it does not bother either of us and he is always welcome in our home, we are secure in our relationship and the deal is, and always has been, that we will faithful to each other. He used to have this female friend over all the time (he stayed at home looked after the children when they were young) , she also had children and they spent a lot of time together, I know she fancied him, she told me as much but so what? I can't stop her feelings, but they were friends and he enjoyed her company and nothing ever happened, I used to tease him about her, he liked her as a friend and that was all - nothing more, nothing less - I trust my partner and I know that he will be faithful and if he wasn't, he knows the cost of being unfaithful, that would be his choice

Jealousy is poisonous and can destroy - being jealous will not stop anything happening - in actual fact it can drive others to react in ways that they would never normally react

so your husbands got a pal who happens to be female - it doesn't matter what sex the pal is, it's his pal and you should be welcoming to his pal, just the same as he does when you have a new pal

vik6525

But cheeky banter is just that, cheeky banter... I think most people can tell the difference between someone going out of their way to be sexually agressive, and someone giving a bit of harmless 'nudge nudge wink wink' seaside sauce!!

vik6525

SoozieSoo wrote: »

I agree. Men, especially do not flirt with woman they don't fancy. In fact most men don't even give the time of day to a woman they don't find attractive. (Thats why I don't have any male friends!!!)

Ive got loads of male friends... We go out on a saturday night, and joke, and banter, and flirt.. But it doesnt mean anything!! Its a joke, and a bit of 'nudge nidge wink wink'... we've been in hundreds of situations where if something was going to happen it would (slept in same beds as each other, wrestling fights on the floor whilst drunk etc) but nothing ever does happen! One of my best female mates is a lesbian. We make jokes about how she fancies me etc etc... But does she??? Christ no!! We're all just friends! Men and women are perfectly capable of being mates!

SoozieSoo

vik6525 wrote: »

we've been in hundreds of situations where if something was going to happen it would (slept in same beds as each other, wrestling fights on the floor whilst drunk etc) but nothing ever does happen!

I would count sleeping in the same bed as someone and wrestling fights on the floor as "something happening". If my husband did either of these things with another women he would be out the door.

vik6525

Blimey....

vik6525

SoozieSoo wrote: »

I would count sleeping in the same bed as someone and wrestling fights on the floor as "something happening". If my husband did either of these things with another women he would be out the door.

What if he did those things with another man? like one of his male friends?

mom23

Hi
She may turn out to look like the back end of a bus!!!:rotfl: and then you can put your mind at rest!!
As has been said it does seem strange that he has invited her to your family bbq (i could understand a large party!!)
You could be worrying about nothing and at least meeting her will give you a chance to see how the land lies!!
Make sure you look extra stunning!!!!
Or just pray for rain!!!

Big Hugs