meeting husbands female friend!

moodykerry

southewest maid, I do hope your right!

Rachie, thanks, I was scared of going over the top and making a fuss over nothing, thaks for making me feel that I haven't done anything wrong.

Ben500, thanks for your opinion, that is one I hadn't thought of! You well may be right

moodykerry

nicki, I don't know what else to do, If I say no you can't see her, he'll want to see her even more, its always the way isn't it. Then it'll be in secret which I couldn't bear

vik6525

Moodykerry.... My best mate is a bloke! Ive known him since i was 5 and he was 7... We exchange flirty banter, and muck about, but NOTHING has ever happened between us (if it was going to, im sure it wouldve happened when we were going through our hormone rush in our teenage years!!!)
Id be so sad to think that any girlfriends of his have seen me as a threat, cause im really not.
I think you've been invited to this bbq to get to know her too, so you can see that theres nothing going on, and that theyre just mates. If there WAS something going on, then to my mind at least, wouldnt they want you to keep away?

vickijh32

:eek: Noooooo don't even go there, I don't want to sound too negative, but my husband made a female friend online, who if it makes any difference was married and I trusted them wholeheartedly, I even helped them set up some messenger so they could chat, I helped out with their e-mails ect, I thought it was good that he had another woman to chat with................how wrong was I, I found out that my husband was sneaking out to call her from a phonebox and she was phoning him at work, well that rattled my cage and I put the brakes on.
As another friend said to me I loaded the gun and he fired the bullets, I wouldn't allow it for one minute, if she was married maybe and both husband and wife were invited then I would probably accept that, but bringing a single woman to your house? what is he playing at? would he accept you asking a single man to your bbq? would he be happy about you sending flirty texts back and forth to some single guy? whether they be mild or not it all has to start somewhere, sorry I couldn't be more positive
I really hope it all turns out okay.

belfastgirl23

Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? If he has then you're right to be a bit concerned. If not then you need to figure out if this is just about your insecurity or is something going on. But I do really think that if something was going on you'd never have heard of her

I'd say don't go off the deep end about this, assume innocence till proven guilty. I always figure I do not want to be that jealous insecure person and try to talk myself round from there.

flower_72

Hello Moodykerry
I understand how it must feel. Having a flirty stranger coming to your house. It would make me feel a tat insecure and warry

However, like Vik I have got a few male friends and have loads of male collegues with who I go away on business trips for a few days at a time.

I have always been open with this to my boyfriend so he could realise that nothing was going on. I let him see text messages too. Nothing secret.

As soon as I started the relationship with him, I have wanted my male friends and boyfriend to meet up so he would know - by seing us together - that there would be no reason why he should not trust me. Plus, I wanted them to meet him to see why I thought he was the most gorgeous and wonderful person on earth!!!

Moodykerry, he's letting you know about the (mildly) flirty text messages, he wants the 2 of you to meet up. It's all out in the open. People wanting to have affairs enjoy the secrecy of it all.

And it gives you the chance to show that woman that you and your husband make a fantastic couple and a happy familly.
Flo

izoomzoom

MoodyKerry

Is it just this woman that your H has flirted with (that you know of), or is he the flirty type ?

The thing with kids, is you always have an excuse to cancel.

skyrocket

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

Has he ever given you a reason not to trust him? If he has then you're right to be a bit concerned. If not then you need to figure out if this is just about your insecurity or is something going on. But I do really think that if something was going on you'd never have heard of her

I'd say don't go off the deep end about this, assume innocence till proven guilty. I always figure I do not want to be that jealous insecure person and try to talk myself round from there.

my husband was someone i trusted inplicitly. i met the colleague he had an affair with loads of times and almost looked on her as a friend. she met my kids too.
what she was, was a manipulative, predatory b*$"^ who was quite happy to sleep with my husband 8 weeks after our daughter was born. she even demanded a pic of our daughter just after she was born and i was so trusting i sent her one!
please trust your instincts. i felt something wasnt right but told myself i was being paranoid. what does your gut instinct say?
i kicked my husband out and he lived with her for 5 months. for 3 of those months he was desperately trying to come home.
we are trying to work things out at the moment. am i a mug? very probably but i'm not afraid to be on my own any more, i do still love him very much but the trust has gone and it will take forever to rebuild it. btw one sniff of him still being in touch with the s*"^ and he is out!:rolleyes:

i hope it is all innocent with your husband and this woman but please go with your gut instinct and listen to what thats telling you.

vik6525

Please dont flame me for this skyrocket, but it wasnt all the womans fault now was it? She was the single one, not your husband. If anything, Id say it was your oh who behaved much worse than the woman. Hes the one who chose to sleep with her 8 weeks after he had a child...

aurora_borealis_2

... I'd have killed him by now.

No such thing as a flirty friend. Sort it out woman!!