Where would you be if you married your first partner?

cookie_monster

The last I heard of my first gf is that she was single and up the duff and looking for emergency accomadation with the council which is a shame as she was a nice girl but hung around with the wrong people. If only she never dumped me

daisiegg

I would be with a man in his late twenties who was not at all successful in his degree and never managed to get a related job, and who still lives in his university town wishing he was a 19 year old student again, doing cr*ppy student jobs and still hanging around the student bars! I would be living in a shared house and still contributing much more financially than he does. We would still never have been on holiday together as he always has other priorities for what little money he has. I'd have no hope of an engagement ring. I would still be organising anything we did resembling dates or fun activities - no chance of any initiative from him - and if I wanted Christmas/birthday presents I would still be buying them for myself and giving them to him to wrap. I would still be letting him drive my car as he couldn't afford one. I would still never have had an org*sm (sorry if tmi!). But mostly, hugely, importantly - I would be dumbing myself down to his level every single day. I wouldn't have anyone I could talk to about anything 'real' and I would be spending every day trying to please someone who constantly puts me down and makes me doubt myself. I would be despairing that this man would never, ever be ready to be a father.

Instead, I am in a grown up relationship with a wonderful man who is marrying me next year, with whom I can talk about anything (including - big shock - The Future!), who spoils me rotten and who challenges and stretches me every day. He listens to everything I have to say and even after three and a half years together we can talk for hours. We go on amazing holidays and we surprise each other and celebrate our love all the time. We have a lovely big house and I only have to work part time (I know the financial stuff is not the most important thing but when it comes on top of being blissfully happy in the relationship, it's a nice bonus!). I am happy and safe in the knowledge that he is excited to start a family as I am. My self confidence and self esteem has grown so much since being with him that I don't think my ex would even know me.

DueMarch11

Well, he's gay so Im guessing we'd just be friends lol

Cookiee

LannieDuck wrote: »

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Me 3 :-D


16.5 yrs and counting

HeatherH

If I'd married him.... he wouldn't have two beautiful children and I wouldn't have been the bridesmaid to my best friends wedding... long story lol

bluebeary

excellent thread by the way, i often go off on a tangent when trying to explain to sixteen to twenty year olds the benefits of not getting heavy into relationships too young

you totally change as you grow up/ older and if i had of stayed with my first boyfriend, i would be living in a council house with a few children in the town i grew up in because that is what he grew up with and what his folks did

i doubt we would have much time for each other as we are now and im happy with the adventure and experiences ive had through my years up to now and hopefully beyond with my current partner

fashionlover10

If I was still with my first boyfriend I probably would never have gone to college, would be bringing up about 4 kids and living on benefits in the town I grew up in. He and his family all smoked a lot of weed so we'd probably have absolutely no money too.

Instead I'm living in a lovely house with my partner on the other side of the country and I couldn't ask for more!

kururunfa

I've no idea what happened to the first boy I "went out with". My first long term relationship was with someone who desperately wanted to get married, have kids, get some pets, and settle down in the traditional sense. I kept saying no, he kept pushing, and I think if I'd stayed I'd be deeply unhappy.

I ended up marrying someone else who is more of a free spirit like me. We live in a really tiny house and keep our bills really low (don't even have a TV, let alone sky or anything like that), and devote all our time to our shared hobbies and small business. Life without the acquisition of stuff (and to long term guy no 1, I think kids were a status symbol/just stuff), is far less stressful.

sweetme

Living in a Barratt box with a 6ft skinny bald man probably with 2.4 children.

eliviajen

My first proper boyfriend lives next door to us now, and is the godfather of our eldest child!!!

So id be perhaps living next door as a godmother, with no children of my own and considerably more spare cash!

Not very exciting mind! x