grandparents finding grandchildren difficult

Rebecca01

Your mum sounds a bit hard to me.

Smacking/ violence is not good on any level. New research and all that...

However my parents are the counter opposite, too soft with my dd. Thats not good either.

I think, just do what you thinks best. We arent in the victorian era anymore. Shes your child. I keep telling myself the same thing. Lol

sassyblue

peachyprice wrote: »

I think grandparents see their own parenting years through rose coloured spectacles and only remember the good things about us. The bad thnings seem to drift from their memory

I think some do too! OP, I think you did the right thing in ignoring your daughters grumpyness - what's the point in inflaming that situation?

It might be that your mum is thinking back to an older age, an age where you would sit and draw and would listen when you were told something, but your daughter is only 2 and they're not known for their co-operation at that age.

Ignore, ignore.

I get from parents comments about how many toys DS has, well they bought half of them for birthdays and Christmas! and he does play with them all nicely. You have to have ears that take comments in and lets them out the other side when you have kids, people think they should comment don't they? Ignore!

carefullycautious

I'm cringing reading all this as I have no tolerance for children full stop so dread becoming 'Grandma'

:embarasse:

Abbafan1972

carefullycautious wrote: »

I'm cringing reading all this as I have no tolerance for children full stop so dread becoming 'Grandma'

:embarasse:

You obviously have children yourself then, but that's a horrible thing to say! Glad I'm not your child.

seven-day-weekend

I don't have any grandchildren but have a feeling my son would be far stricter than I ever was! He certainly is far better with children than I am.

He's the only person I have ever known who has trained his cats not to steal food. I have had cats for forty years, and mine always do, given half a chance!

So if I am ever a grandparent, I am expecting to sit back in admiration!

zaksmum

I love all my grandsons to bits and thank God every day for them...BUT...as we get older our tolerance for kids playing up isn't what it used to be!

One of the boys is so adorable and very intelligent but thinks it's fine to interrupt any adult conversation and is never checked for doing so. He will scramble onto his dad's knee when his dad is trying to have a conversation with another adult and physically turn his dad's face towards him to get his full attention...and he's nearly 10!

Sometimes it is hard not to interfere - it certainly would not help family relationships if I did!

ognum

I think as a parent we all choose the arguements with our children, when they are tiny you cannot possibly be cross about everything!!

As they get older and become parents themselves if we are sensible we also choose the issues that we feel are important.

Some children are amazingly srtong willed and in my opinion that's good, they are determined and when they are young it often manifests itself by tantrums and screaming.

I had a child like this, she was strong willed and a screamer at home, never out of the house. She has become a resilient, intelligent, strong willed and self reliant adult who has a great job, amazing holidays, her own home and a partner who loves her for the way she is!

We should never try to take the spirit out of our children, they need it for life!

seven-day-weekend

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

You obviously have children yourself then, but that's a horrible thing to say! Glad I'm not your child.

No it's not, just honest. I don't care if I never have any grandchildren. Although I will love them if they appear, it won't diminish my life if they don't, in fact it will be one less thing to worry about. And I have no time for other peoples' small children. We're not all earth mothers.

ognum

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

You obviously have children yourself then, but that's a horrible thing to say! Glad I'm not your child.

I don't think it is horrid at all, it is important to know ourselves and act accordingly. if you are aware you have little tolerance of children of a particular age then you can devise strategies to love them without spending time alone with them.

far better to know yourself than not!

Gra76

When we're younger and have our own kids we still have plenty of health (hopefully) and plenty of stamina to deal with the energy they have. I think as you grow older and health starts to go a bit and the energy levels wain I think that's one of the main reasons Grandparents struggle to cope.

Well, it is for my mum (dodgy knee these days) and MIL (dodgy everything) at any rate!