Adult daughter expecting us to lend money

Mojisola

ajgrist wrote: »

I asked for advice on how to deal with my daughter asking for subs, when she is earning what I consider a decent wage. What income/ benefits we have is irrelevant. My mistake was to mention our earnings in my first post. Lesson learnt. Thanks everyone for the advice.

I can't understand why people are questioning ajgrist about their income. They could be millionaires and still want help in teaching their daughter to live within her limits.

ajgrist - all you can do is stop lending her any money - say no and mean it. Offer to help her to work out how to budget properly. Wait til she gets over her tantrum and sit down with her and help her face up to the reality of living within her income.

j.e.j.

If the daughter is earning £13000 gross salary, then she's probably taking home that divided by 15, which would be roughly £870 per month. (approximately)

So once her board/rent is paid she has about £650 to 'play with' till the next payday.

Out of that she needs to pay for decent work clothes, petrol, mobile phone, drinks, etc with friends and colleagues (at that age there's HUGE pressure to go out drinking, or risk being ostracized), then pay for other things like haircuts, birthday and christmas gifts, plus other miscellaneous things which are small but still add up.

I can see how she ends up asking for a loan!

BUT, that said, she does need to learn how to budget better. Fwiw I used to be be paid a similar amount of money and I had to pay £500+ to a landlord, plus bills and council tax!

Spendless

According to the salary calculator. ttp://www.thesalarycalculator.co.uk/salary.php She has £947 per month net income, so £727 after board is paid. She then needs to prioritise what her outgoing are, eg her car, her travelling costs etc before she works out an entertainment and sociallising budget.

caeler

The last few examples suggest disposible income of between £650-£720 a month. Is it just me or is that huge?!

RedBern

Not read all the responses, but if your daughter is adamant she doesn't want you to sit down and help her budget, why not suggest that she divides her income, after paying you, into 6 equal amounts, one for each week and two to save for emergencies etc. A bit rough and ready, but may be easier for her to realise that she's living beyond her means, but could give her a buffer if she sticks to it.

It's difficult to withdraw your help but she needs to learn to manage or accept help with that budgeting. Also remind her she needs to factor in £20+ each week for the next year to pay her overdraft...that's before she starts spending on clothes, magazines and lunch from shops... Mr NatWest/Barclays etc can be very unforgiving.

no1catman

When she next has a 'tantrum' ask how old she is, when she gives an answer - your response could be - 'then why don't you act it, instead of try to be a nine year old'!!

The sudden shock of not being thought of as a 'grown-up' may bring her back to reality!
Just a thought.

VestanPance

caeler wrote: »

The last few examples suggest disposible income of between £650-£720 a month. Is it just me or is that huge?!

Sounds fairly normal for someone working and still living with their parents.

*max*

I think it would be difficult for anyone that age to afford to run a car on that little money, given she will have to pay quite a lot for insurance, nevermind petrol and maintenance. A car is a money pit! I think it should be the first thing she looks at. Unless it is absolutely essential for her to get to work, it's an unnecessary luxury she can't afford.

POPPYOSCAR

ajgrist wrote: »

I asked for advice on how to deal with my daughter asking for subs, when she is earning what I consider a decent wage. What income/ benefits we have is irrelevant. My mistake was to mention our earnings in my first post. Lesson learnt. Thanks everyone for the advice.

I agree.

But I do not understand why you posted your income in the first place.

If your income was a lot higher would you take less from her?

VestanPance

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

I agree.

But I do not understand why you posted your income in the first place.

If your income was a lot higher would you take less from her?

Completely agree. Doesn't matter if the OP has Bill Gates levels of wealth, the child is working and needs to budget for herself and not go begging for a sub to her parents.

One of life's lessons, you're an adult so learn to budget your money.