7.5 months pregnant & rudely refused a seat on the train!

macman

As far as I know, the priority seats on trains, tubes and buses are advisory and not 'reserved'. You can ask someone to vacate, but they're not obliged to do so if they have a valid ticket?
Not that that justifies the behaviour that the OP suffered.

mysk_girl

Priority seats can also have seat reservations attached to them for people who don't fall into the categories outlined. Cross country trains have priority seats for elderly, disabled and pregnant people but I have had my seat reservation in one of these seats more than once. So what happens them when you are asked to move?

floralaura

I have found its not just passengers with no consideration-I had to get a bus last Friday up to the hospital. I was stood at the stop for a good 10mins before anyone else arrived then a teen and woman arrived. Bus comes 5 mins later, they both hop on first taking all seats at the front to full. I get on, clutching a 'Maternity' folder and very pregnant (31 weeks but the size of 40 already-the joy of having Big ones! lol). I asked the driver for a return to the hospital, he gave it me and as I turned to walk to the back of the bus off he went and started driving, making me stumble down the bus and up the steps to the seating at the back.
As I got off I mentioned to the driver that his bus has signs on stating to remain seated until the bus stops for safety so surely he should apply that logic to when people get on the bloody thing..he looked at me as if I had just spoke in some alien language and turned away.
Arriva Wales buses, nice job at customer service!

barbiedoll

I think Fluffnutter's point about priority seats causing more resentment, is spot on. Commuters pay an awful lot of money for their work journeys and they often travel in hot, cramped conditions that would be illegal if they were animals. After forking out a good chunk of their wages, they feel a sense of entitlement to a seat and they may resent having to give it up just because someone else has medical issues.
That's not to say that they have the right attitude but anyone who commutes into London (or any large city) on regular basis, knows what I am talking about.
Another thing that probably annoys passengers is those "Baby on board" badges. While they do serve a useful purpose as not everyone has a huge bump even at 9 months pregnant, women who are only a few weeks pregnant wearing them with an expectation of a seat are bound to raise the hackles of the fraught commuter. But I don't think that these issues are any excuse not to offer a seat to anyone who obviously needs one, many workers are sat at a desk all day anyway, standing on a train for half an hour is not a great hardship to most people. I've offered seats to pregnant women, women with small children and elderly people and it's shocking how often someone else will try to squeeze past to nab the seat, you'd think we were on a 12 hour journey the way some people act.

On a slightly different note, Transport for London are currently running a campaign reminding mothers that wheelchair users have priority over pushchairs and buggy users and that they have to be prepared to fold their prams if required to do so. This is another instance of giving passengers a benefit, which they then take as an absolute entitlement. How do they think that mothers travelled with their kids before prams were allowed on buses? We got our kids out and folded our prams up. Yet I have seen and heard some unholy rows on buses over prams and pushchairs taking up space, again, passengers expect to travel on crowded vehicles as though it were their own personal transport.

Manners and good sense are in short supply on public transport, that's for sure!

axomoxia

When I used to commute to Canary Wharf, any pregnant woman pretty much had her choice of seats on the Jubilee line - I think the "baby on board" badge help assuage any "is she pregnant or just eaten too many pies?" concerns. That's City gents for you....

duchy

It was me who made the "Pregnant not disabled" comment.

A bit of background.... I travelled into and through central London daily in the rush hour throughout my pregnancy. If someone offered me their seat (and credit to those many who did) I accepted with gratitude if I needed it -however there is no way I would expect or demand it.

TBH to get such a rude reaction perhaps the OP came across as entitled even if she didn't mean to. I think it's very difficult NOT to sound entitled when asking someone to give up something they have because you want/need it as basically you're saying "I want/need it more than you" and making assumptions about their needs that could be totally wrong. To then ask what she can say to "get back" at the next refuser does make me think there is some level of entitlement going on with the OP.

That said I believe that a woman has a responsibility to ensure her journey is within her physical capacity to avoid harm or distress to the baby she is carrying and if that means negotiating her hours to avoid the worst of the rush hour or starting maternity leave earlier then that is a part of responsible parenting. I'm not talking theoretical -I actually did change my hours as I felt the stress of travelling in the rush hour on me was bad for the baby and it wasn't fair to subject the baby to such stress daily (obviously some days when transport went wrong it was unavoidable but I could and did take steps to reduce the need to travel when it was inevitable it would be bad but it was astonishing what a difference half an hour could make to crowd levels). It was MY responsibility to the baby not the responsibility of my fellow commuters.

jaqui59

Question ...

When and why did the Human Race begin to behave so diabolically?

split_second

Commute into a large city (or from a large city) each journey I do to and from work involves going through one large city to another and you will see the full extent of rudeness from every age, race and gender.

Women are worst for pushing, and for being aggressive too, especially to men. I pay £95 a month for my pass and can count the number of occasions I have had a seat each month on one hand

A few months ago I fell and had a suspected broken toe, I hobbled for weeks, just made me an easy target for shoving, I also have dyspraxia do have no balance at all, I often fall on public transport and all I get is tutted at as my barely being able to reach an overhead barrier makes it ever do inconvenient when I nearly injure myself again

ciderwithrosie_2

barbiedoll wrote: »

How do they think that mothers travelled with their kids before prams were allowed on buses? We got our kids out and folded our prams up. Yet I have seen and heard some unholy rows on buses over prams and pushchairs taking up space, again, passengers expect to travel on crowded vehicles as though it were their own personal transport.

That's one of my personal bug-bears too. Sometimes if there's 2 or 3 mothers with great big buggies on the bus then other passengers can hardly get on and off - get the baby out and fold it up !!!!!!! There's usually plenty of people (me included) that don't mind holding a baby or shopping, and the bus drivers are usually amenable and will wait. I managed with 3 little ones on public transport, get a sling or back carrier!

However, sometimes when I've wanted to give my seat to someone elderly/infirm I haven't been able to get up at that point as I'm hemmed in by other passengers sitting/standing and there's no room to manouvre - then I feel guilty for the rest of the journey

BAGGY

Gosh. This has heated up hasn't it?
When travelling, as others have said, I would never ask for a seat. I would like to think that people would've seen the size of me and offered their seats.
When I travel with the boys I now have both of them on my lap.
As for getting a double buggy anywhere near public transport. No way. I got the 'Look of death' sometimes for even pushing it through shopping centres. One day I met OH at Canary Wharf to show off the newborns to work colleages. At lunchtime it rained and the shopping centre packed out with people. I tried desperately to get somewhere quieter as commuters had lunch to attend to and my double buggy was no obstacle for them. Some stepping over it in the search for their next latte and no one holding open doors. In the end I just went for it shouting 'move if you value your ankles. Big red buggy coming through. Dont tell me you cant see it'
They moved.