7.5 months pregnant & rudely refused a seat on the train!

athina_2

I am 7.5 months pregnant and asked for a seat on the train this morning.

I requested politely that I am 7.5 months pregnant to the young lady sitting in the priorty seat and was told "f*** off b****, I don't know you".

I was a little gobsmacked and didn't really have a good response. However the two people next to her immediately jumped up and offered me their seat.

What would be a good thing to say back next time should such as unfortunate situation arise again?

RandomDan

Gosh, there is no excuse for her response at all.

However, as a generally fit, young (ish) healthy male, I was once on a full train after having stitches for a minor op and and I did not feel well at all, and was quite immobile after I had sat. People would not have known this from looking at me. I did feel bad about not offering up my seat and wondered if others were judging me, but I was glad of that seat. If directly asked I would have explained or at least politely declined; as it was I was trying to avoid eye contact and not think about pain.

I would like to think you don't need a prepared retort for next time; I don't think you would really want to enter a dialogue with someone who opens with vulgarities and then be stuck in the same carriage with them for the rest of the journey. The other people getting up to give you a seat means there was no problem after all, the problem was with the other person.

duchy

Absolutely nothing. You're pregnant not disabled !

Plenty of women commute right up to 8.5 months and although the girl's response was rude she had no obligation to give you her seat (unless she was sitting in seating designated for pregnant women) although it would be the nice thing to do but in case you hadn't noticed most commuters are in their own little zone and don't generally go out of their way to be nice or even notice their fellow travellers.

If you need to travel to work and can't deal with the commute so early on perhaps it's time to think about starting your maternity leave or changing your hours to avoid the rush hour ?

*max*

Depends on the way you asked really.

If a woman was obviously pregnant, I would give up my seat for her as a matter of course. If a woman asked me to get up and give her my seat, going "Can't you see I'm pregnant!", I still would, but I'd blooody well be wishing her baby is born with an unmanageable cowlick. Ha!.

There are ways to go about it. Mostly, I have found people to be polite and generous on public transport.

*max*

PS: it was your choice to get pregnant. Not that it excuses rude behaviour, but maybe you've got to look at your newfound sense of entitlement, and realise not everyone is going to magically look at you with awe and care! Millions of women are pregnant at this point in time. You're not special to anyone but yourself and you family and friends.

Fire_Fox

If someone is going to curse you out their next step could be a slap so it would be rather unwise to say anything back. You might be best learning to read body language.

PinkLipgloss

I am quite honestly astonished by some of the responses on this thread - it's times like this I realise I made the right decision leaving the UK.

I refer specifically to: "Your pregnant not disabled!" together with "It was your choice to get pregnant......look at your newfound sense of entitlement".

Seriously people - words fail me.

Thankfully I was living in Madrid when I was pregnant. Priority seats there have a sticker which includes an illustration of a pregnant woman. I never once had to ask for a seat on the busy Madrid metro - it was always offered immediately. In Japan I am also consistently offered a seat on trains since I am travelling with a baby.

No doubt someone will be quick to rush in saying I chose to get pregnant and have no right to use public transport! Or a ridiculous debate will ensue regarding "order of priority" with posters going on about how X, Y, Z person is more entitled than someone who is pregnant etc. That is not what this is about - its about COMMON DECENCY/CONSIDERATION towards other human beings.

*max*

PinkLipgloss wrote: »

No doubt someone will be quick to rush in saying I chose to get pregnant and have no right to use public transport!

You're twisting people's words now, nobody ever said anything like that.

What I was saying was, yes, you chose to get pregnant, and there's no reason why you should expect people to behave any better than they did before. You're not any more precious than you were before, and your environment hasn't changed. Thick skin comes to mind. Rude people will always be rude. Get over it.

PinkLipgloss

*max* wrote: »

You're twisting people's words now, nobody ever said anything like that.

What I was saying was, yes, you chose to get pregnant, and there's no reason why you should expect people to behave any better than they did before. You're not any more precious than you were before, and your environment hasn't changed. Thick skin comes to mind. Rude people will always be rude. Get over it.

Please read my posts carefully before writing such replies.

I am NOT twisting peoples words. I said "No doubt someone will be quick to rush in saying...." which clearly makes reference to FUTURE posts. That is NOT twisting the words of someone who has already posted.

I have no doubt I am in the minority expecting people to act decently and considerate towards others (regardless of being pregnant etc). It's one of the main reasons I left the UK - I honestly despair with some peoples attitudes.

P.S. For the record - I did not consider myself "precious" whilst pregnant.

*max*

Oh calm down dear. Read everything again.

torbrex

The last time I was on a coach journey, a young pregnant woman got on the already full bus and I stood up to offer her my seat only to be given a verbal slap in the face with all the appropriate expletives:
"I am not F'n disabled, f-off and leave me alone"

There is always another side to the coin.