7.5 months pregnant & rudely refused a seat on the train!

Wootball

athina wrote: »

Hi, thanks all for the replies and what a debate! I too am truly shocked by the number of people who things I am no more tired than the average person for carrying around an extra 12 kg. I don't believe I am "entitled" to a seat but I do believe I am in more need of a seat than I was before I got pregnant and 99% of people have the common decency to understand this.

I used to be a good few stone overweight - starting to wish I'd asked people to get up and let me sit down now.

OrkneyStar

KiKi wrote: »

She was rude - that's the bit I'd be annoyed at. Not at the refused bit.

Priority seats are for those who are pregnant, disabled, or less able to stand. You wouldn't know to look at me that I need to sit down on a train, but I do. I have a chronic back condition, and standing for even ten minutes leaves me in a lot of discomfort.

I wouldn't be rude to you, but I wouldn't give you my seat, either!

I thought priority seats were for the disabled (physically or otherwise, if it affects their ability to stand), not specifically for pregnant people?
I tend to drive these days, or use quieter rural bus route. I would not give my seat up if I was on a busy bus/train though because I have a very very dodgy back- it can be sore sitting too, but the jerky stop starts and turns on a bus/train would be too difficult for me and result in pain for the rest of the day.
How did you ask the person? I do agree her response was rude (and not really excused), but bear in mind you were specifically asking her to move (could you have asked someone else) and she does not have to move for you!

j.e.j.

Wootball wrote: »

I used to be a good few stone overweight - starting to wish I'd asked people to get up and let me sit down now.

LOL I''m starting to wonder whether some of the embittered comments earlier on in this thread may also be coming from people who are carrying an extra few kilos and who don't get to ask for a seat :rotfl:

MissPiggy79

*max* wrote: »

You're twisting people's words now, nobody ever said anything like that.

"... You're not any more precious than you were before.."


Really?? I disagree, if you are carrying another life then you are definitely "more precious". A bump in the stomach to anyone else would cause a bit of pain, to a pregnant woman it can mean the end of her child's life!! If that's not a good enough reason, in often crowded, jostling, bumpy carriages when it's easy enough to be knocked over at the best of times, to be treated preciously, then when the hell is...................:(

SingleSue

My boys have been taught to give up a seat for an elderly, disabled, pregnant or otherwise frailer person than they are and they do it without quibble (bearing in mind eldest dislocates at the slightest thing and probably needs the seat just as much!)

They also hold doors open for others and offer to help carry heavy shopping bags, cases etc for others if they see they are struggling.

LannieDuck

Wootball wrote: »

I used to be a good few stone overweight - starting to wish I'd asked people to get up and let me sit down now.

Unfortunately a bit of extra weight isn't the only effect pregnancy has on your body, as I mentioned previously.

LannieDuck

OrkneyStar wrote: »

I thought priority seats were for the disabled (physically or otherwise, if it affects their ability to stand), not specifically for pregnant people?

Many signs for priority seating specifically include pregnant people. However it's very possible that there's some variation by area/country.

OrkneyStar wrote: »

I tend to drive these days, or use quieter rural bus route. I would not give my seat up if I was on a busy bus/train though because I have a very very dodgy back- it can be sore sitting too, but the jerky stop starts and turns on a bus/train would be too difficult for me and result in pain for the rest of the day.

And that's fine - you're entitled to the seat too because you find it more difficult to stand (just like a pregnant person does). Presumbly if asked, you would have explained this politely and not been rude?

OrkneyStar wrote: »

How did you ask the person? I do agree her response was rude (and not really excused), but bear in mind you were specifically asking her to move (could you have asked someone else) and she does not have to move for you!

I assume the OP was asking her specifically because she was the one sat in the priority seat.

motherofstudents

That report about the pregnant woman on crutches was on the local news here and the Manchester Evening news. Quite unbelievable in my opinion. To be heavily pregnant AND on crutches, I would have thought people would have jumped up to offer a seat.

I don't understand the bitterness of people who object to someone needier than they are, receiving anything (whether it's benefits, seat on a train or whatever). When I was pregnant I had offers of seats which I was very grateful for. The rest of the time I have offered seats to other people, elderly, pregnant etc so it's nothing to do with 'entitlement' just someone needing help at that time. I despair of the selfish attitude that seems to be around at the moment, but no doubt there are many more considerate people than not. I hope so.

fannyanna

Wow, just wow.

I find some of the comments on this thread absolutely disgraceful.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

This is from Southern Rail, who actually offer a card to try and address the 'I don't know you' stuff - although I suspect that the rough old boiler the OP encountered might have had difficulty reading it;

(my bold)

Did you know that all Southern trains have specially designated priority seats? Have you ever been asked to give your seat up for someone in more need of it than you? Have you voluntarily given up your seat as you recognised someone’s need for it? Or perhaps you have been in need of a priority seat that was occupied and were reluctant to ask for it to be given up.

Priority seats can be used by anyone, but they should be given up if they’re needed more by people with disabilities, expectant mothers, elderly passengers or those carrying infants. Someone’s need for a seat may not be obvious, for example they may have a hidden disability or be in the early stages of pregnancy, it takes courage to ask someone to give up their seat so when asked please allow someone to sit down.




The seats have this marked very clearly as well - and the guard/conductor will very often be more than happy to suggest that the rude old scrubber shifts her carcasse in such situations.


Personally, I would have considered politely informing someone being rude on such a basis that I presume she won't be complaining when I vomit profusely in her direction/faint in her direction. But I am slightly more bloody minded after years dealing with morons on public transport whilst relying on crutches/sticks and suchlike.