7.5 months pregnant & rudely refused a seat on the train!

OrkneyStar

LannieDuck wrote: »

Many signs for priority seating specifically include pregnant people. However it's very possible that there's some variation by area/country.

Definitely not seen it in any of the areas I have been in, but that said I haven't travelled the whole of the UK .

LannieDuck wrote: »

And that's fine - you're entitled to the seat too because you find it more difficult to stand (just like a pregnant person does). Presumbly if asked, you would have explained this politely and not been rude?

I would not have 'explained', would simply have said, 'I'm here because I have a need to be', (maybe added 'perhaps someone else is able to stand?'), and then got on with my business. I don't owe anyone else an explanation as to why I was there. Some folk may have very personal issues regarding a disability and to be forced to explain it to someone who thinks they are more entitled would not be very pleasant.

LannieDuck wrote: »

I assume the OP was asking her specifically because she was the one sat in the priority seat.

Where I come from, and again this isn't the whole country, there is generally more than one 'priority' seat. The OP has no idea whether she has more priority than the person already in that seat or not. I have already said the persons reply in this case was rude, but some might say that the OP was rude to ask for the seat, and force any person sitting there to explain why they feel they are entitled to it (some folk might say that buying a ticket entitles them to it as much as the pregnant lady, not saying I necessarily think this though!). Even a conductor could not force someone to move if that person came up with a genuine reason (be it true or not, again not agreeing with dishonesty) why they need to be there.

In an ideal world all 'priority' cases would have seats, heck no, we'd all have seats and not be paying through the roof to stand every day!

Although I no longer commute, I spent many a day on a busy train from Glasgow and back (15-20 min journey, but packed in like sardines), so I do understand what it can be like.

VitaK

Its appalling that we can't treat each other better than that.

My sister looked like she swallowed a beach ball and had no problems getting a seat. My wife with a hidden disability stands absolutely no chance of getting a seat.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

OrkneyStar wrote: »

Definitely not seen it in any of the areas I have been in, but that said I haven't travelled the whole of the UK .

On further looking, Southeastern and Firstcapital Connect trains also have priority seating identified on the trains.

And you are actively encouraged to ask for a seat. As on Southern trains. So it isn't being rude to do so.

(Southern)


(London Underground)

OrkneyStar

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

On further looking, Southeastern and Firstcapital Connect trains also have priority seating identified on the trains.

And you are actively encouraged to ask for a seat. As on Southern trains. So it isn't being rude to do so.

(Southern)

I honestly have not seen that before (or the one you added after I quoted you ), that said I don't live anywhere near the areas these trains operate in.
Even so there are 4 categories on that little sign. In this case it seems that the person in the seat already may have just been plain rude, but how is the OP to know that the person already there doesn't fit in the other categories ?
She should be prepared for a 'no I need this seat', although it should hopefully not be an abusive 'no'.
For the record OP, I do hope you are able to travel in comfort for the rest of your pregnancy, and also that all goes well. Just wait for the looks you will get if you ever try to board a bus with a buggy though.....that's a whole other story, and if you think its a pain now.........:(:(:(:(

red_devil

did the person have to swear there are so many people around who cant get their point across without being vile. They show themselves up and swearing in a public place is an offence.

LannieDuck

OrkneyStar wrote: »

I would not have 'explained', would simply have said, 'I'm here because I have a need to be', (maybe added 'perhaps someone else is able to stand?'), and then got on with my business. I don't owe anyone else an explanation as to why I was there. Some folk may have very personal issues regarding a disability and to be forced to explain it to someone who thinks they are more entitled would not be very pleasant.

I totally agree - by 'explain', I didn't mean that you needed to give details. Just that you're not able to stand either, and you do have a need to be sat down.

Unfortunately, able bodied people don't always jump up and offer their seat to pregnant women (and others with obvious disabilities), so you're forced to ask (and risk upsetting someone with an invisible illness). Especially in London, people will hide behind books and stare the opposite way to pretend they haven't seen the person in need. One of my NCT group was pretty big by the time she stopped work, yet often had to stand both ways on the tube to-and-from work because no-one stood up for her. She was too shy to ask.

Rebecca01

Wootball wrote: »

I used to be a good few stone overweight - starting to wish I'd asked people to get up and let me sit down now.

But that weight can be spread all over your body not all on your gut putting pressure on your back. Even beer bellys may not be as big and heavy

OrkneyStar

LannieDuck wrote: »

I totally agree - by 'explain', I didn't mean that you needed to give details. Just that you're not able to stand either, and you do have a need to be sat down.

Unfortunately, able bodied people don't always jump up and offer their seat to pregnant women (and others with obvious disabilities), so you're forced to ask (and risk upsetting someone with an invisible illness). Especially in London, people will hide behind books and stare the opposite way to pretend they haven't seen the person in need. One of my NCT group was pretty big by the time she stopped work, yet often had to stand both ways on the tube to-and-from work because no-one stood up for her. She was too shy to ask.

Perhaps, rightly or wrongly, they feel they've paid for a seat so why should they give it up? While this isn't a view I'd necessarily subscribe to I can, in a way, see a bit of that side too.
Again, in an ideal world there would be lots of clean trains with lots of seats, and standing would be a rarity? If only :cool:

newcook

red_devil wrote: »

did the person have to swear there are so many people around who cant get their point across without being vile. They show themselves up and swearing in a public place is an offence.

I know its probably more likely that she was just a rude little so-and-so but its possible they had tourettes

OrkneyStar

Wootball wrote: »

I used to be a good few stone overweight - starting to wish I'd asked people to get up and let me sit down now.

Not a comparison, I found even walking short distances painful in the latter, 10 days overdue stage, largely as the weight puts pressure in certain areas (in my case hips, oddly my normally troublesome back was less sore during pregnancy!). Being pregnant is definitely NOT like being over-weight!