7.5 months pregnant & rudely refused a seat on the train!

gregg1

fannyanna wrote: »

Wow, just wow.

I find some of the comments on this thread absolutely disgraceful.

Yeah, me too.

I would always offer my seat up for a lady, pregnant or not, or anyone with a disability or elderly because I have manners. If I offend someone in doing that then so be it but that would say more about their lack of manners than mine and it certainly would not stop me offering in the future.

What a poor society we are becoming when basic manners and consideration for others is becoming so hard to find.

mrs_sparrow

newcook wrote: »

I know its probably more likely that she was just a rude little so-and-so but its possible they had tourettes

Please do not let this little understood condition be confused with someone rude and with an absolute lack of manners and decency.

Tourettes suffers have ticks and yes, these people swear, however the words come at random times, not at an answer to a question. Hvaing Tourettes does not make you act like the person in the OP.

mrs_sparrow

I was on crutches for the latter stages of my pregnancy and I rarely got a seat on the train either, men in their 50's (usually) would shove you out of the way to have a seat for 20 mins. I used to just sit on the floor as well. The constant rocking of the train would mean I would be bursting for the loo when I finally got to my stop if I stood and that would be really painful too.

flybynight

funniest one i ever saw on a bus was a lady with a small child ( 2ish?) on her lap and another small child ( 3ish?) sat next to her. bus was pretty packed and a few of us were standing. an older lady ( looked like someones gran) got on. The mum said" would you like to sit down" and usehered small boy off the chair withs "lets let this nice lady sit down" . "thanks" says the lady and sits down. at which point small boy sits himself on her lap and proceeds to tell her what he did at playschool that morning. the mother stammered "thats not what i meant" and tried to move him. the older lady jsut laughted and said he was fine where he was.

Nicki

I've had three children and PGD/SPD with all 3 and travelled in London by public transport with all three pregnancies, and I can't think of single occasion where I ever felt it was appropriate to ask for a seat if it was already occupied, whether priority or not, even though I gratefully accepted any which were offered, and sometimes felt a bit peeved when they were not and I was carrying many packages and would have appreciated them. The way in which OP asked may have been polite and the way in which the other person refused was undoubtedly rude, but I am not sure that OP was herself polite to ask for the seat, and as others have pointed out the other person might also have been entitled to occupy the seat because of a disability the OP didn't notice.

The rudest thing to happen to me when very heavily pregnant, was to buy a sandwich in Pret a Manger and try to sit down in an unoccupied seat to be told rudely by the person sitting next to that seat (along a bar) that it was "taken" - by her friend who hadn't even arrived in the sandwich bar at that point much less bought her sandwich. I had to stand awkwardly 2 weeks before my due date in front of an empty chair balancing a tray and my handbag and attempt to eat my sandwich standing up when I would dearly have loved 20 minutes off my feet. Afterwards, I wish I had told the woman that Pret a Manger doesn't take reservations, so if she wanted to meet her friend somewhere and be sure of seats together, they should go somewhere which did, but at the time I was just gobsmacked by her cheek! I had just about finished my meal by the time her friend did arrive so it would have made no difference if I had been able to sit down for a few minutes while she waited for her.

athina_2

mrs_sparrow wrote: »

I was on crutches for the latter stages of my pregnancy and I rarely got a seat on the train either, men in their 50's (usually) would shove you out of the way to have a seat for 20 mins. I used to just sit on the floor as well. The constant rocking of the train would mean I would be bursting for the loo when I finally got to my stop if I stood and that would be really painful too.

Do you mind if I asked why you never asked for a seat? Surely if you are on crutches, you desperately need one? Why wait for someone to offer rather than ask directly the person sitting in the priority seats?

Nicki

athina wrote: »

Do you mind if I asked why you never asked for a seat? Surely if you are on crutches, you desperately need one? Why wait for someone to offer rather than ask directly the person sitting in the priority seats?

I know I'm not the person you are asking but I wouldn't ask a specific person to get up because there is no way of telling by looking briefly whether someone has cerebal palsy, severe back problems, severe epilepsy, labyrinthitis, is on their way home in the middle of suffering a miscarriage, or any number of reasons why their reason for sitting in the seat is as pressing or more pressing than mine, and more importantly none of my business. In extremis, perhaps addressing a question to the carriage at large, and hoping someone volunteers might be acceptable, but targetting someone to ask, in my opinion, nope.

mrcow

Nicki wrote: »

I know I'm not the person you are asking but I wouldn't ask a specific person to get up because there is no way of telling by looking briefly whether someone has cerebal palsy, severe back problems, severe epilepsy, labyrinthitis, is on their way home in the middle of suffering a miscarriage, or any number of reasons why their reason for sitting in the seat is as pressing or more pressing than mine, and more importantly none of my business. In extremis, perhaps addressing a question to the carriage at large, and hoping someone volunteers might be acceptable, but targetting someone to ask, in my opinion, nope.

I absolutely agree. It is rude to ask someone specific, as you have absolutely no idea of their own conditions.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

codemonkey wrote: »

I commute by train everyday and if its busy and there's a visibly pregnant lady standing near me, I offer my seat. Same as I do for older people, or people struggling with toddlers or babies or a disabled person. Pregnant women are not mentioned on the priority sign though but as it doesn't look especially comfortable, they can have my seat. Standing for 20 minutes won't do me much harm and if I can make someone else's day a tiny bit better , then why not?

What operator is that?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Nicki wrote: »

I've had three children and PGD/SPD with all 3 and travelled in London by public transport with all three pregnancies, and I can't think of single occasion where I ever felt it was appropriate to ask for a seat if it was already occupied, whether priority or not, even though I gratefully accepted any which were offered, and sometimes felt a bit peeved when they were not and I was carrying many packages and would have appreciated them. The way in which OP asked may have been polite and the way in which the other person refused was undoubtedly rude, but I am not sure that OP was herself polite to ask for the seat, and as others have pointed out the other person might also have been entitled to occupy the seat because of a disability the OP didn't notice.

The rudest thing to happen to me when very heavily pregnant, was to buy a sandwich in Pret a Manger and try to sit down in an unoccupied seat to be told rudely by the person sitting next to that seat (along a bar) that it was "taken" - by her friend who hadn't even arrived in the sandwich bar at that point much less bought her sandwich. I had to stand awkwardly 2 weeks before my due date in front of an empty chair balancing a tray and my handbag and attempt to eat my sandwich standing up when I would dearly have loved 20 minutes off my feet. Afterwards, I wish I had told the woman that Pret a Manger doesn't take reservations, so if she wanted to meet her friend somewhere and be sure of seats together, they should go somewhere which did, but at the time I was just gobsmacked by her cheek! I had just about finished my meal by the time her friend did arrive so it would have made no difference if I had been able to sit down for a few minutes while she waited for her.

Far more eloquent that me last summer.

Gaggle of 19 - 21s (at best) braying about their day out in London, drinking wine from the bottle, train also packed with perfectly well mannered football fans, one seat spare and possible to reach from where these females are blocking the entire aisle on both sides. So I struggle over to it.

'THAT SEAT'S TAKEN!!!!' squawked one.

'SOMEBODY'S SITTING THERE!!!!' shrieked another.


:mad: 'Like who? The Invisible Bloody Man?'


I got the seat. The females doing the squawking and shrieking thought better of it when they realised the rest of the carriage was not going to jump to their defence.