7.5 months pregnant & rudely refused a seat on the train!

duchy

uk_american wrote: »

Growing up in the US in the late 70's early/80's, I was fortunate to spend a lot of time with my 3 grandparents who were quick to drill in the lessons of growing up during the depression and WW2, one of those being, that as a healthy, able-bodied person, you have a responsibility to get out of a seat if someone needs it more than you, and when in doubt to gently offer. It seems to me a more prevalent mentality in the US, but maybe I need to compare more similar areas, such as New York to London, vs. small towns.

I find overall Americans in their home country have far better manners than Brits -far more likely to hold a door open, offer their seat etc .....and I always chuckle when I get called ma'am in the US -only time it happens here is when I worked at a particular high school where all female staff were called ma'am (made a lovely change from the very irritating "miiiissssssss") but I do agree you can't compare small town America with London and a comparison with NYC is fairer.

ziggy2004

thegirlintheattic wrote: »

Considering I was not travelling in peak time I would have simply moved to a carriage with seats - Tubes are not always full you know. In fact, the only times I've ever been in a situation with no seats on the tube were commuting to work in peak time and after about 10 pm. Most of the time you can easily find a seat, especially if you don't try the carriage opposite the exit/entrance. If I had found myself without a seat I would have got off and waited for a train with seats - simples.

Unfortunately saying you can't give up your seat is in my experience is treated as if you won't give up your seat.

I think that attitude needs challenging instead of those in need of a seat being told that they should put up with not having one.

I am lucky and pregnancy has never been a reason for me to need a seat yet I know of too many women for whom a seat was a necessity during pregnancy and they did not have the luxury of being able to decide to only travel during off peak times they and others who need a seat should feel able to ask ( nicely) and those who are able to stand up should do so. For the vast majority standing instead of sitting is not going to pose a physical problem.

Maybe if we thought of it as paying for the journey instead of paying for the seats we would get somewhere.

ziggy2004

PinkLipgloss wrote: »

I found a sling fine when my son was a small baby however as he got bigger it just wasn't practical.

I'm a small weakling whilst he's a tall/heavy baby (95 percentile for his height/weight :eek:) .

Thankfully I have never encountered any issues at all when using my buggy on public transport. However that's probably because I live in a society where manners and consideration for others are highly valued.

Maybe you just needed a different sling :j

I only stopped carrying middle child when he was 3.5 ( 99th centile) but of course he was only carried when walking was not possible or impracticable just as you would with a buggy. Sling Guide is a good place to start when looking for nice comfy slings :j

lilymay1

I remember traveling on the trams in Sheffield with a very severely disabled friend of mine who uses a wheelchair. Incidentally, I was about 7 months pregnant at the time although that's neither here nor there in my opinion.

I had to ask a woman to move her pushchair from the wheelchair space so my friend could be positioned safely and I remember her reply being "Well where am I supposed to put my buggy?". I think I said something alone the lines of "Put it anywhere you like, on the roof if you must, but this space is for wheelchairs".

That was by no means an isolated incident. Many a time we had to ask people to move suitcases, bags or buggies so the wheelchair could be put into position.

During my pregnancies I would never have asked someone for a seat, nor would I have expected one. I agree with some of the other posters; pregnancy is not an illness. That said, when ever I use public transport (very rarely) I always offer my seat to someone who I think needs it more.

Bitsy_Beans

Some are suggesting the OP is being precious by having the "audacity" to ask for seat whilst pregnant and yet no one seems to consider that allowing such foul mouthed little cows the right to sit where they like is making her just as precious. What's good for the goose is good for the gander no?

Are we now to walk round in a little bubble, afraid of asking a simple courtesy like civilised human beings? I despair......

Mrs_Ryan

I have only ever accepted a seat offered to me once. This was at the height of my illness, where I shuffled slowly onto the bus, wearing my headscarf to hide my lack of hair, clutching my tummy and wincing in pain, clearly looking pretty ill as I was then - I was glad of it. However now I'm better (unless my scar is sore) I always offer up my seat to anyone who looks like they might need it - been there and I was so grateful I like to try and repay that.

Sarah0307

Just joined here and really how can there be any sympathy for someone who curses at a pregnant woman looking for a seat on the subway! I live in nyc where people are stereotypically rude and still that's not acceptable

Beccah_3

Wading in on the buggy v's wheelchair debate, as its close to my heart. Here in Wales, those spaces are clearly marked for wheelchair users but are available to buggies when no wheelchair user is onboard. The sign states that buggies must be folded and the space given over to wheelchair users when needed...pretty straightforward right?
My dad is now a wheelchair user after suffering a stroke and I've been disgusted by the number of times that people refuse to fold their buggies. They avoid eye contact, pretend not to hear the driver and doggidly stare forward, whilst we stand there embarrassed. There have been times where the driver refuses to even ask them, and we're left with no option but to wait for the next bus. I throughly support any women's right to a little extra support from society when they have little ones, but how they can think it is fine for a disabled person to have to wait in the rain for 15 mins just leaves me flabbergasted. I'm so thankful to have recently passed my driving test, so those horrible moments won't have to be daily occurences.

somethingcorporate

The trains I regularly get do not specify pregnant women on their priority seats but I'd be fuming if someone didn't offer it to my 6 month pregnant wife.

harrys_nan

I utterly despair at the way we humans are heading with our manners and consideration for others. Are people not taught basic manners anymore?
I dread to think where we are all going to end up in years to come.
I am mid 60's cannot stand for too long because of spinal problems but will still give up my seat for somebody less able than me