About to walk away from my family

sassyblue

Well TBH l can't see the problem, as long as all those concerned are happy. What do your ex and your children think?

If they're not happy about it though, especially your children l'd move heaven and earth to put it right.

emsywoo123

sassyblue wrote: »

Well TBH l can't see the problem, as long as all those concerned are happy. What do your ex and your children think?

If they're not happy about it though, especially your children l'd move heaven and earth to put it right.

I'm assuming you haven't actually read the thread?!

jem132

When me and exh split he went and rented a posh studio flat in town the kids every weekend for 18mts he then got a girlfriend and dropped contact to sat 12 till sun 12 kids hated her and blamed her move on 1year
he splits with her tells me becose she got herself pregnant but tells kids they just didn't get on allso told me he had no intention of having anything to do with the child I told him it would bite him on the !!!! lol ds2 asked dad can we have a baby I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks he said no way noing full well one was on the way.
He went bk to having kids every weekend Fast forward to Nov 2011 i was moving house he was allso moving to a 3 bed around the same time he didn't see kids for 6 becose he was moving all was fine after Xmas kids had there own rooms all good ds1 flits between home and dads he has no rules I do so has his own room there little two Shere like home all good.
till he tells them in March they have 4 mt old brother and can only have them every other weekend ds2 works out he's been lied to and refuse to go, no birthday cards or present for him then he decided he wanted to go see his brother only to find out the baby is in his bed living there 8 mts in a bed????
He has never been again and says he never will won't eventually about him other kids say we have done bla bla.
He just says he don't care.

So just think about how you deal with it it could affect you and kids forever

Metranil_Vavin

bunney1981 wrote: »

The people I saw face to face seemed to see and agree with my point if view. Maybe I'm not explaining things right.

Perhaps you are only looking for opinions from people who will say what you want to hear?

Often friends will do this, unfortunately if you come onto a public forum you're more likely to hear opinions you maybe don't like.

I have to agree with the majority of posters here. You put your kids first, always.

apesxx

bunney1981 wrote: »

My cousin advices me that it's time I put myself first and made sure I was finally happy and this made sence.

Any advice would be great

im sorry but when you decide to have children you have to put them first for the next 18 years of their life and beyond. Can you not stay at your parents with them one day a week if their will be no room at your new home. I wouldnt have been happy as a child if my dad moved in with his new GF/baby and didnt see us as much anymore.
I think if you really wanted to spend the time with your children you would make room for them no matter what!

newcook

jem132 wrote: »

When me and exh split he went and rented a posh studio flat in town the kids every weekend for 18mts he then got a girlfriend and dropped contact to sat 12 till sun 12 kids hated her and blamed her move on 1year he splits with her tells me becose she got herself pregnant but tells kids they just didn't get on allso told me he had no intention of having anything to do with the child I told him it would bite him on the !!!! lol ds2 asked dad can we have a baby I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks he said no way noing full well one was on the way. He went bk to having kids every weekend Fast forward to Nov 2011 i was moving house he was allso moving to a 3 bed around the same time he didn't see kids for 6 becose he was moving all was fine after Xmas kids had there own rooms all good ds1 flits between home and dads he has no rules I do so has his own room there little two Shere like home all good till he tells them in March they have 4 mt old brother and can only have them every other weekend ds2 works out he's been lied to and refuse to go, no birthday cards or present for him then he decided he wanted to go see his brother only to find out the baby is in his bed living there 8 mts in a bed???? He has never been again and says he never will won't eventually about him other kids say we have done bla bla. He just says he don't care.

So just think about how you deal with it it could affect you and kids forever

please make friends with the carriage return button - your post is hard to read!

SavingPennies_2

You describe it as a "house" so presumably it has 2 bedrooms? Or at the very least 2 rooms? The baby can share with you and your gfrield for the first year and the 2 kids can have the other room. Whose idea was it out of interest? Yours or hers?

Errata

This sounds like yet another first family becming disposable when the second one comes along.

Mado

Errata wrote: »

This sounds like yet another first family becming disposable when the second one comes along.

Not just that.

His actions will aslo possibly alienate his parents from his new partner and their new baby, as well as destroy his parents relationship with their existing grandchildren. For no other reason than "convenience".

Pollycat

sassyblue wrote: »

Well TBH l can't see the problem, as long as all those concerned are happy. What do your ex and your children think?

Well, the OP hasn't got round to asking his ex what she thinks so I guess it's safe to assume that he hasn't spoken to the children either.

bunney1981 wrote: »

I havnt run this past my ex as of yet but the plan is to do this for a year. Then when my partner goes back to work find a bigger house.

My kids are more than welcome in the house will be spending time there. But not to sleep in the first year or so

It sounds to me that he is putting his children on the back burner until it is convenient for him and his new partner to have them to stay again.
But, it wouldn't surprise me at all to learn that when they do get a bigger house there still won't be room for the children.

I wonder how much input the new partner has had in all of this 'planning'.